Turning the Page
by Joei Cassidy
Summary: Couldn't help it!  Had to put up an epilogue!  This is one year later...hope you guys enjoy this little fluffy addition! :-  E/O all the way.
1. Chapter 1

Turning the Page

_**Author's Note: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are owned by Dick Wolf. (If it were mine, Chris Meloni would still be on the show!)**_

_**I've already written one version of what I'd like to happen after Elliot hands in his retirement papers. (Please read it and review as well. The story is called "Just Tell Her" and is published here). This time around I've done a story set right after the shooting. What happens to Elliot and Olivia in the immediate aftermath of the shooting in the precinct. Will Elliot turn to Olivia? Will Olivia be able to help him. This is going to be a multi chapter story. So hopefully you guys enjoy. This is more dramatic and has more angst than Just Tell Her but I hope you all enjoy it anyway.**_

Chapter 1

Olivia walked home as if in a trance. She could not believe what had just happened. She opted to walk from Bellevue in 1st avenue to her apartment in Alphabet City. It was a cold night and it was not a short walk, but after all the deaths that she just encountered, including that of a teenage shooter, it was definitely a day in hell.

Physically she was okay. She didn't get shot. Psychologically, she knew she was definitely better off than Elliot. Elliot shot Jenna, she didn't. It didn't matter that Jenna was the one who caused the carnage in the precinct. She was only a child – she had been so traumatized with the death of her mother, that she was driven to shoot the people responsible and other people who just were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Elliot had done the right thing to shoot her because more people would have died if he didn't. But still, in a way she glad that she wasn't in Elliot's shoes right now. She knew how bad he must be hurting at the moment.

Elliot had gone to Bellevue with them but Olivia had been caught up with the routine of the job after such incident that she didn't realize until too late that Elliot had quietly left the hospital.

As she neared her apartment in Avenue A and 3rd Street, she realized just how worried she was about Elliot. She knew how he took things to heart. And killing a teenage girl, even if was the same girl who had caused the carnage, must be crushing him right now. She took out her cell phone from her pocket and saw that she did not have missed calls from anyone except Fin. No calls from Elliot. She glanced at her watch. It was nearly 11 pm! When she realized how late it was and she had no calls from Elliot, she decided to dial his number. His phone rang and rang but voicemail came on. She tried a second and a third time. Nothing. Nada. Still just voicemail.

Finally giving up, she decided that she'd try again after she got home. She finally turned into her block and then gratefully, she let herself inside her building. Suddenly feeling cold, she ran up the stairs to her third floor walk up and hurried opened the door to her apartment. All at once, she saw him.

Elliot. He was sitting on her couch, head on his hands. At first she thought she didn't her come in. But then he looked up and the anguish and sadness that she saw in his face…in his eyes broke her heart.

Olivia quickly closed the door and without word, she went straight to her partner, her best friend, and the man she knew she loved, sat down beside him and took him in her arms in a warm and tight embrace.

There in Olivia's arms, Elliot began to cry. It was gut wrenching to see him cry like that. His sobs filled the room and this body shook even as Olivia held him. There was almost something primal in his cries. It felt like the sobs of a man who has been broken. Olivia began crying too.

She wanted to tell him it would be okay. But she couldn't. And it wasn't because she didn't think it would be okay in the long run. It was because she knew Elliot. She knew he wouldn't want to hear that right now. Not when everything was so NOT okay.

Instead she just held him. They cried in each other's arms. Her tears were silent. She didn't have the heart to sob out loud too because she knew that would only break his heart even more. So she just held him.

After long minutes, Elliot's tears began to subside. His sobs got softer and softer until he finally stopped and was quiet. After a few moments, when everything was silent, Olivia slowly pulled away from him. She touched his cheek, and brushed the remaining stray tears then spoke up for the first time, "Elliot, I'm so sorry."

"Shit, Liv. What did I do?"

"You stopped someone who was shooting at people from shooting more people!"

"But that someone is Jenna! She didn't deserve to die!"

"Neither did Sister Peg! Look you're going to drive yourself crazy. Just stop for the moment. Why don't you just rest? Do you want me to drive you home to Kathy?"

Elliot shook his head. "Hey I'm sorry if I just barged in here. And that I didn't answer your calls. I just couldn't."

Olivia grabbed his hand and looking at him straight in the eye told him, "Elliot, it's okay. I'm glad you came here. But we need to make sure that Kathy is not going to worry about you. Let me call her."

"No, it's okay. I already told her I wasn't going to be back for tonight. I told her I had to work extra late." Elliot advised Olivia.

Looking at him, Olivia slowly nodded. "Okay."

"Hey, Liv, do you mind if I stayed here for a while? I just don't want to be alone but I can't be at home. I just can't do that right now."

Olivia nodded.

"Liv, can you just sit with me for a while? We don't have to talk. We can just sit in silence." Elliot asked. His words were simple but his eyes were pleading for her to say yes.

She didn't even answer. Instead, Olivia just settled back onto the couch, just sitting next to Elliot. For a while they just sat in silence. Then in a sad voice, Elliot spoke up again and asked, "Do you hate me, Liv? Do you hate me for what I did?"

"I don't think I could ever hate you, El. I know I can't possibly understand how you feel right now, but please know none of us think of you any differently. I promise you that. " Olivia looked at him straight in the eye trying to make sure that he understood that she meant every word.

"Well at least that makes one of us." Elliot's remark was bitter.

"El, you can't blame yourself. You did what you were trained to do."

"We were supposed to protect her. We were supposed to help her get justice for her mother. And instead I kill her in cold blood!" The self-loathing that he felt was evident in Elliot's voice. "

"She was shooting people in the precinct including innocent ones. You did what you were trained to do El! I know I can't make you believe that right now. But that's what you did."

"Oh, God, Liv, what have I done?" A groan of anguish escaped from Elliot.

Once more, Olivia wasn't capable of answering. He was too distraught right now that any reassurance right now would just agitate him more. So she did the only she could do, she just engulfed him in an embrace again.

His breathing which was bordering on hyperventilation started to slow down and normalize at her embrace. And then all of a sudden, she didn't know what it was that signaled it for her, but all at once she felt a shifting in Elliot.

At that moment, he drew away from her and then took her face in his hands, his blue eyes looking deeply into her brown ones. What she saw there, made Olivia's heart pound. There was longing, so much longing as well as pain and sadness and need. Her face became flushed as Elliot continued to stare at her.

Then slowly, he lowered his head and he captured her mouth in a slow, heated kiss. At first Olivia was frozen and didn't respond. But she didn't pull away either. After a few seconds of kisses that didn't seem to elicit any reaction from her, Elliot stopped then looking at her again, he whispered, "Please Liv, please."

Alarm bells were ringing in Olivia's head. "Please." Elliot repeated, still looking at her. He was pleading with her. She knew that it was a bad idea. That he was acting out because of what had happened. She was at war with herself in her head. She shouldn't do this. She shouldn't do this. He was married. He's not the cheating kind. And she's not the adulterous kind. She shouldn't do this.

"Please." Elliot whispered once more, still looking at her. "Pl-"

Elliot didn't get to finish that last please, because Olivia kissed him then. The moment their lips touched, both felt like they were drowning and flying all at the same time. Their kisses were hot, intense, wet and full of the pent up passion that they had both been carrying and keeping locked up for all of these 12 years.

Soon they were in Olivia's bedroom and clothes were being shed. When they were both naked, Elliot stood looking at Olivia. "Oh my God, Liv, you're beautiful!" And while she was standing there, he began to kiss her again. He started with her lips and started making his way down. From her lips, he went to her neck which he nibbled on before trailed little kisses down to her beautiful breasts. Her nipples were already standing in attention as he reached the right one. Once there, he gave it the proper homage due the beauty of them. He circled the nipple with his tongue and then slowly he pulled it to let her feel a little bit of pain. Olivia yelped but then pushed his mouth back onto her breast. He repeated the same thing, this time though, instead of releasing it after pulling on the nipple, he then released it only to capture it again and suck it. Then he trailed two kisses to get to her other breast and he did exactly the same thing.

Olivia was flushed and breathing rapidly from arousal. She could feel herself getting more and more wet. She was so focused on what Elliot was doing to her that she barely felt his male hardness against her. But when she finally realized how had he had become as he was pleasuring her, she suddenly couldn't wait to feel all of him inside her.

This time it was Olivia who moaned and said the word. "Please." She breathed.

"Not yet." Elliot said. And he started the trail of kisses again. As he reached Olivia's sweet spot, he took one finger and put slowly put it inside her wet slit. Elliot felt his finger slip easily inside her. "You're so wet."

At his words, Olivia suddenly grew bold. She pulled him up and reached down to hold his cock. The moment she held it, she gasped at its hardness and size. "You're so big…and hard…."

"I know baby. You do that to me. In fact you've been doing that to me for most of 12 years." He looked completely unabashed with his answer and his face was very flushed too.

Hearing this only served to enflame Olivia more. She moaned and made a motion that told Elliot that she wanted him now. By now, Elliot was at his breaking point too and could no longer resisted Olivia. "Please…" Olivia said again.

Not needing another invitation, Elliot slowly entered her. He wanted to take it slowly but she was so wet and Olivia pulled him down.

"Oh my God, El!" Elliot didn't move. Instead, he just let Olivia feel his entire length inside her as her wet walls enclosed him. Even not moving and just like that, it felt so good. It was so good that Elliot couldn't stay motionless for long.

Elliot started pumping and thrusting slowly inside her. His movements weren't fast. They were slow and very deliberate. And with each thrust, he kept his eyes on Olivia. There were moments whe Olivia felt so much pleasure that she would inadvertently close her eyes. But then Elliot would see them closed and tell her to open them.

He wanted her eyes to remain on him. It was almost like he was offering his body and soul to her. Deep down, Olivia realized this wasn't just physical. But she didn't want to think about that right now. It was too much already to even try and indulge that thought.

Elliot continued to ride her and with each thrust he brought both of them closer and closer to the edge. "LIv, cum for baby." Elliot said in an urgent and hot whisper.

"Oh God!" Olivia moaned. He felt so good inside of her.

Elliot took both her legs and put them on his shoulders and Olivia felt her walls clamp around his hard cock even more with the new position. "Oh God, El, I'm gonna cum."

"Cum for me baby." Elliot urged never stopping his motions that were driving her to the edge, never taking his eyes off of her face.

Then suddenly Olivia arched her back and she gave a loud moan. In ecstasy, she closed her eyes as Elliot drove her to climax. As Elliot watched her come completely undone, he almost came undone himself.

But he forced himself to keep the pace. But he couldn't hold on much longer and as her orgasm subsided, Elliot's self- control slipped away and he thrust faster and faster until with one last thrust, he spilled inside her. His body shook and was wet with sweat. He kept moving even as he came and finally collapsed in Olivia's arms when he was done.

They fell asleep soon after. They didn't talk. They just held each other. Elliot fell asleep first and because he did, he never saw the tears started falling from Olivia's eyes.

_**A/N: Chapter 2 up by next week. In the meantime tell me what you think here! Reviews very much appreciated.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**Author's note: I didn't think I would have this done by this weekend, but I was in the mood to write and thus here is the second chapter.**_

_**What happens the morning after? **_

The sun was streaming through the window of Olivia's bedroom , waking Elliot up. For one blissful moment, he didn't remember anything. But then it call came crashing back to him. Jenna opening fire in the precinct. Him shooting Jenna. Going to the hospital. Then walking to here to Olivia's apartment to wait for her. Talking to her. Making love to her.

He sat up and he looked at Olivia who was still asleep. She looked so beautiful as she slept, her breath steady. He remembered every moment of their love making and as much as it felt so good – that it felt so right he suddenly felt guilty.

He clenched his right fist then splayed his fingers and stared at the gold band on his ring finger. Angry at himself, he ripped the ring off of his finger. Then he slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake Olivia up and started getting dressed.

He hated himself even more now. It's bad enough that he had ended the life of a teenage girl last, but doing what he did with Olivia last night was wrong. It felt good. But it was wrong. He was married. He was a broken man. He didn't deserve her. Doing what he did last night, probably will scar her for good. He had nothing to offer her.

Frantic now, he wanted to just get out of there. But he knew he couldn't just bolt out on her. He couldn't leave without even some sort of explanation. But he knew if he woke her up, she wouldn't let him go. And he'll do more damage to her.

And so he did the next best thing, he looked for a pen and paper and wrote her a note. When he was done, he finished dressing quietly, gave Olivia a gentle kiss on her lips and tiptoed out of her apartment and for the moment out of her life.

An hour later, Olivia woke up. The moment she opened her eyes, she knew Elliot was gone. Swallowing hard, she got up and on her living room table he saw the note Elliot left. Next to it were his cell phone, the keys to the police car they shared and the extra keys she gave him to her apartment.

Tears stinging her eyes again she opened the note and read it.

Dear Liv,

I love you. I want you to know that I have loved you for most of the 12 years we've been partners. Having you in my arms last night and making love to you was as wonderful as I always thought it would be. But I can't stay. I have messed up everything in my life and I don't want to be the one to mess you

up. I'm sorry Liv. Please forgive me. I know you're going to be okay. Thank you for everything. I love you.

E.

Tears were streaming down Olivia's face now. She read it one more time and then she buried her head in her hands and just let her sobs go.

_**A/N: What do you all think? Please review. Thanks.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After he left Olivia's, Elliot had found himself in a bar near his house in Queens. It was barely 12 noon but he drank shot after shot and by the time he got home, he was drunk.

He stumbled inside and the first person he saw was Kathy who just come home from her shift.

"So you finally decided to come home!" Kathy's voice was fierce, her arms crossed, eyes blazing.

Elliot collapsed on the couch and replied, "Please stop it. You don't know what I've been through!"

"Oh really? Well maybe that's because you don't bother to tell me. Where have you been all this time? I know you weren't at work as you said because I've called and called and Finn and Munch have told me you weren't there."

Elliot didn't reply and simply closed his eyes.

Kathy, not able to take it anymore crossed to where he was and started shaking him. "Elliot, where have you been? I can smell you from a mile away. You are drunk! And at 2 pm in the afternoon! What happened? Where have you been?"

Elliot opened his eyes and with a terrible smile on his face, he finally replied, "You really want to know what happened? And where I was?"

There was fear now in Kathy's eyes, but she still nodded and replied, viciously, "Yes Elliot, I'm your wife, I'd like to know where my husband was last night and what happened to him."

"Fine you asked for it. What happened? I shot a teenage girl in the police station because she started shooting at our perps and she shot Sister Peg."

"Oh my God!"

"Wait, I'm not done. You asked where I was?"

Kathy nodded mutely.

"After I left Bellevue, I went to Olivia's. I stayed with her. And I slept with her. There. I'm done now. Are you satisfied?"

Kathy was crying hard now. "You slept with her."

"Yes Kathy. I slept with her. I've been wanting to sleep with her for most of our 12 year partnership and I finally did yesterday. I probably fucked her up and broke her heart, but I did. Because I felt like crap and I couldn't go to you and I needed to feel better. She made me feel better."

Still crying hard, Kathy mustered all her strength and slapped Elliot hard across the face. She started hitting him and for a while Elliot let her.

"Why? How could you do that to us, Elliot?"

She kept hitting him and finally Elliot grabbed her hands and then looking her squarely in the eye, he said, "Kathy. Stop it. "

Kathy struggled for a bit but then finally stopped. Then she simply said again, "Why, Elliot?" The anger was mostly gone. In its place was extreme sadness.

Elliot's anger was gone by now as well. He was now filled with shame and regret but also a strong realization that his marriage with Kathy was over. They were over.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you Kathy. But I am hurting so much right now. I shot a teenage girl. Remember Jenna? I told you about her? Her mother was raped and killed?"

Kathy nodded, tears still running down her face.

"I shot Jenna. She came into the precinct yesterday wanting to take a look at the men who had caused her mother's death. She started shooting at them and she even killed Sister Peg. If I hadn't shot her, she would have killed more people!"

"Oh my God!" Kathy cried.

"But even though I know that in my head," Elliot pointed a finger to his skull, "here," he continued, pointing to his heart, "I can't bear what I did. I killed a girl who was supposed to be going to prom in a few days. She's now in the morgue when she should be getting ready for the biggest event in her high school life."

"But why did you sleep with Olivia?" Kathy asked.

Elliot looked down then, his head in his hands. He didn't answer.

"Why, Elliot? I can understand running to her, she was there wasn't she? But why did you have to sleep with her?"

Still not looking at her, still head in his hands, Elliot replied, "Because I needed to be with someone I loved. And I love her Kathy. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. But it's the truth. I love her. I needed to be with her. "

Kathy was silent and she stayed silent until Elliot finally looked at her. He saw that she was looking at him and the moment he turned to her, she spoke. "Elliot, I'd appreciate it if you could make arrangements to stay somewhere else beginning tonight."

Elliot nodded. He did not argue.

"Sober up. Tell the kids whatever you want. I am getting out of here. But I would like you to be out by the time I get back tonight."

With that, Kathy stood up, grabbed her bag again and left, leaving Elliot alone in his misery and shame.

_**A/N: Things are getting worse for Elliot, what happens next to Olivia? Next chapter up soon! PLEASE REVIEW! **_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine. They are Dick Wolf's. **_

_**Sorry it took so long to update this, until recently, I didn't know where to take this story. Anyway, hopefully you guys like it. Reviews are very much appreciated.**_

Two months later….

Olivia stared at the stick in her hand. Two pink lines. She was pregnant. She dropped to her bathroom floor and sobbed. What was she going to do? She had so longed to be a mother and now that she was about to be one she was devastated.

What was she going to do? What was she going to tell Elliot? How was she going to tell Elliot? He had not returned any of her calls, responded to any of her voicemails or replied to any of her texts. Not for the last two months.

All she knew was that he was on leave for evaluation after the shooting – standard practice and that he and Kathy were no more. And she only knew that because she heard from Munch that Kathy had come storming into the precinct one day while she was out on a case and demanded to know where Elliot so she knew where to send the divorce papers.

What was she going to do? She threw the pregnancy test into her trash can and continued to sob. Part of her was so happy to be finally having a baby. And Elliot's baby? She should have been ecstatic. Instead she was at her most broken. She knew how it was to grow up without a father. She didn't want that for her child. She put her hand on her still flat stomach and cried. She already loved him or her.

After several minutes, Olivia gathered herself and finally stopped crying. This baby was going to need her to be strong. And she was going to be there for it. No matter what. And right now, as much as she missed Elliot, she was also very angry with him. How dare he say he loved her then sleep with her then walk away! He didn't deserve to know his child. Not the way he had been acting. She could do this. She will do this without him.

Determined now, Olivia got up from her bathroom and got ready for her day.

It was nearly the end of the day and as she came back to the precinct, Captain Cragen asked her to come into his office.

When Olivia obeyed and went in, he closed the door behind her. "What's up, Captain?"

Looking at Olivia closely, Captain Cragen told her, "Elliot turned in his papers. I'm sorry Liv it was beyond my control. There was nothing I could do."

Olivia's breath caught, but she refused to break down in front of Captain Cragen. So she simply nodded, willing herself all the while not to cry.

She walked out of the room and everyone saw that there was something wrong. Behind her, Captain Cragen told Fin that they had caught a case and that he and Olivia should go.

Fin took one look at the expression on Olivia's face and started to say that he'd just bring Amanda, the new detective. But Olivia shook her head and told him that she'd go. "Just give me five Fin and we'll go."

Olivia walked away on the pretense of going to the bathroom. But she didn't. She went into one of the interrogation rooms instead and started crying. Deep down, she had always thought that even if he didn't answer any of her calls, he'd still be back and they could iron things out then. But he turned in his retirement papers. He wasn't coming back. He wasn't coming back. Oh God!

Ten minutes had gone by and Captain Cragen asked Fin why he hadn't left yet. "Captain, Baby girl hasn't come back yet."

The two of them glanced at each other and both immediately had worried looks on their faces. Captain Cragen took charge then. "Munch, Rollins you guys go."

Munch and Amanda nodded and left immediately.

"You –" Captain Cragen said, pointing to Fin. "Come with me."

"Hey Cap, what did you say to her in there, if that's okay? She looked like someone just died when she came out of your office."

Captain Cragen sighed and told him, "Elliot's not coming back. He turned in his papers today."

"Oh, son of a bitch can't even say goodbye? Fuck, no wonder Baby girl looked like that."

"Yeah, well let's find her."

They made their way to the bathroom and the lockers and on the way there, it was Fin who saw her. Olivia was in one of the interrogation rooms, sitting on one of the chairs and she was crying softly. He and Cragen exchanged looks and Fin looked to his Captain checking on what they should do.

Cragen opened the door. Olivia was so caught up in her emotions that she did not hear them come in.

"Liv?"

Startled, she looked up and saw Cragen and Fin. Hastily she wiped away her tears and faced them. "I'm so sorry. Give me a minute and Fin let's go."

She started wiping her eyes and fixing her hair as if getting ready to leave but Cragen stopped her. "Stop, Liv. You're not going anywhere. I already sent Munch and Rollins."

"Why, it was mine and Fin's?"

"Baby girl it's okay. Munch and Rollins will handle it."

Olivia looked at them and saw understanding and sadness in their eyes. "I'm sorry Cap. I don't know what got into me."

"Liv, you don't have to pretend with us okay? Right now I'm not your Captain. I'm your friend. Fin's your friend. We understand. After 12 years as your partner, it's only right for you to be upset that he'd walk away just like this."

"Yeah, Liv. Give yourself a break. I mean if Munch suddenly decided to pack up and leave without telling me I'd miss him too and I'd be sad and pissed as well. And we haven't even been partners 12 years and he's an old Jewish dude. "

Olivia laughed weakly at Fin's attempt to make her laugh. "Thanks, Fin…Don."

"No problem." Cragen told her. "You need a day, Liv?"

"I just wish it was just about him leaving the job, you know?" Olivia said, a tear falling down again.

Cragen and Fin exchanged glances again at her cryptic remark. "What do you mean Liv? Is there more? " Fin asked her as gently as he could. Everyone in the office new that Benson and Stabler were complicated. Heck most people thought they were a couple until they noticed that Stabler had a ring and she didn't.

She looked at the two men who had become her family after all these years and suddenly she had to tell them. She had to be honest with them. After all, Cragen was her captain and in a few weeks she was going to have to tell him anyway.

Olivia cried softly and then reining herself in, she took a deep shaky breath and confessed. "Cap, Fin, there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it Baby Girl?" Fin asked, his tone soft.

"Oh, God! I don't know how I got myself into this!" The betrayal Olivia felt right then and there showed through.

"Liv, you can tell us." Cragen told her. "We're here for you. Isn't that right, Fin?"

"Yeah, Liv. What is it? It'll be okay. We're here."

She looked into their eyes and saw their genuine concern. She bowed her head in shame as she whispered, "I'm pregnant."

"What Liv, sorry I didn't hear?" Cragen said.

Swallowing, she looked up and in a louder voice repeated her statement. "I'm pregnant and…"

"And Elliot's the father." Fin finished for her, his eyes sparkling with rage, his voice tight with anger.

Mutely, Olivia nodded her confirmation.

Suddenly, Don Cragen who was normally a calm man, pounded his fist on the table. Olivia cringed and started apologizing. "I'm sorry Cap…"

"You're sorry?" Cragen said in a disbelieving voice, his anger rising at the absent Stabler. "He's the one who should be sorry. What the hell? How did this happen? Wait don't answer that, I don't want to know. But what I want to know is where the hell is Elliot? Olivia he has to know. Does he know? Is that the reason he turned in his papers because if it is, so help me…"

"No he doesn't." Olivia quickly replied. "He…he hasn't answered any of my calls or texts Captain. And I just found out."

Captain Cragen took a huge deep breath in an effort to calm himself. Once he was okay, he declared, "Well, we're not New York's finest for nothing. We are going to find him and he's going to make this right. It's bad enough he walked out on Kathy, apparently cheated on her, with you and walked away from his 5 kids and now he's walking out on you and another kid? No way. We are not going to let this happen to you. I've given him a lot of leeway all these years, a lot of second chances. It's about time I start calling on the favors he owes me."

Fin had been silent all this time because he was too angry speak finally spoke. "Yeah, we're not going to let him get away with this Baby girl."

Olivia shook her head at their plans. "Thank you both, but no. If Elliot doesn't want me, then he doesn't. I'm not going to obligate him to come back because I'm pregnant. My baby doesn't need a father like that.

"Liv, this is not up for discussion. Look, just leave it to us. Just take care of yourself and the baby." Cragen firmly told her. "Okay, promise me."

Seeing that it was pointless to argue, Olivia nodded and whispered, "I promise."

"Good. And by the way, how far along are you?" Cragen asked her.

"About two months." Liv replied.

Suddenly understanding came into both Fin and Cragen's faces. "Two months? Just like it's been two months since Jenna got shot?" Fin put both their thoughts into words.

Seeing that they had put two and two together, Olivia simply nodded.

"Son of a bitch!" Fin muttered. "I am going to kill Elliot."

Captain Cragen drew another deep breath and looked like there were a few more choice words he wanted to add to Fin's statement but restrained himself. Instead he told her, "Well, Liv, I actually have some news for you, career wise. The brass has noticed your consistent performance and in a few months, they were going to promote you to a supervisory position. Meaning you'll be overseeing cases instead of actually working them. I know it's a bit premature, but I figure you should have some good news at least today. And besides in about four or so weeks, we have to pull you out of the field because of your pregnancy so this promotion comes at a good time. I know I gave you lousy news today Liv, but look at this way or at least try, you're about to become a mother and you're about to get promoted. So congratulations."

Fin forced himself to smile at the news, and he was happy for Liv. But he was still boiling with anger over what Elliot did. "Congrats, baby girl."

He gave her a hug and Olivia accepted the embrace wholeheartedly. Captain Cragen also embraced her. Olivia wiped her tears and smiled. There was still sadness in her eyes, but she felt better. It felt good to finally tell someone and the promotion was good news. "Thanks, guys.""

"Anytime, Liv." Captain Cragen.

"Cap, do you mind if I take that day tomorrow? I want to go to the doctor you know?"

"Sure, Liv. You deserve it. And trust us, you leave Elliot to us."

"Yeah Baby Girl. You leave Stabler to us."

Olivia chuckled softly. "Okay guys. Thanks."

"And Liv?"

"Yes, Cap?"

"You're going to make a great mother!"

Olivia teared up again. "Thanks Cap."

"You ready to go?" Fin asked.

Olivia nodded and together, the three of them walked out of the interrogation room.

_**Up next, Olivia tells Alex and Casey about her pregnancy while Cragen, Finn and Munch try to find Elliot. **_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine. They are Dick Wolf's. **_

_**This is a transition chapter and some of you may find not much happening here. But it is a necessary chapter. The next one is going to be full of drama, so enjoy the lull. As always reviews are appreciated! **_

Two days later…

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Alex shouted, her eyes blazing with anger.

"He better be far far away because if I see him, I will kill him!" Casey seethed.

It was two days later, and she had just told Casey and Alex that she was pregnant and that it was Elliot's.

Seeing her friends anger, Olivia began to cry softly. Alex and Casey exchanged glances and they quickly sandwiched Olivia on either side of her couch, comforting their friend.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, you know?" Alex assured Olivia.

"Yeah." Casey agreed. "It's his loss. It's a double loss for him actually."

Olivia hiccupped as she tried to speak. "You know, as cliché and embarrassing it is, oh God, I never realized until I found out that I was pregnant with his baby, how much I loved him. I've denied it for so long because he was married. But I can't deny it anymore. I love him. And he loves me."

"Liv, if he loves you why isn't he here?" Casey asked her gently.

"I don't know." Her answer was a whisper. "You know that night we made love? When he fell asleep, I was still awake and I cried."

"Why did you cry? Weren't you happy that you finally got to be with the one you love?" Alex probed.

"Yes, I was happy. And that's what broke my heart. I knew that even though we loved each other, it was wrong what we did that night – only because we did that when he was still with Kathy. But everything else about it…Alex, Case…I know I sound really pathetic right now, but it felt right."

Alex and Casey exchanged glances again. Olivia hiccupped a little then continued. "I told Captain Cragen and Fin and I think they're going to tell Munch. They're determined to find him for me. I told him not to bother. But you know them, they're going to try and find him and make him face me and my….situation."

"I agree with them." Casey told her bluntly. "He needs to know, Liv."

"Yeah, Liv. But in the meantime, hey, we're here for you, okay?"

"Thanks." Olivia told them gratefully.

"Anytime." Alex replied.

"So I guess we can't drink, so what do you guys say to Tasti D-Lites? My treat." Casey invited.

Never to say no to Tasti D-Lite, Alex and Olivia accepted and they left Liv's apartment to get their treats.

3 more days later…

Don Cragen knocked at the door of the Stabler residence in Queens. He knew that Elliot probably wasn't there but he had to try.

He was about to knock again, when door finally opened.

"Don! How are you? How can I help you?" Kathy greeted him.

Don noticed that Kathy had aged since the last time he saw her and she looked tired.

"Hi Kathy, is Elliot here? I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I really need to talk to him."Cragen told her.

"No he isn't. I…I kicked him 2 months ago. Except for an occasional phone call to Liz, Dickie and Eli, I don't know where he is. He won't tell me, he won't even tell his kids." The anger in Kathy's voice was evident.

"I'm sorry to hear that Kathy."

"Why don't you come in first Don?" Kathy invited.

Cragen hesitated for a moment but then accepted the invitation a moment later. Kathy sat down on the living room sofa, inviting Cragen to do the same.

"Kathy, do you have any idea where he is? It's important that I find him, please."

Kathy looked in Cragen's eyes and she seemed to be searching for something in them. She didn't seem to have found her answer because she sighed and said, "This does have anything to do with Olivia?"

"I'm sorry Kathy, I really can't say. But if it weren't important I won't be asking. And plus I'd like to help the twins and Eli get their father back too."

Kathy laughed bitterly. "I wish Elliot was even half as concerned about us as you are."

"Did he tell you what happened in the precinct?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know know he turned in his retirement papers?" Cragen asked her.

Kathy gasped in surprise. "He did?"

Don nodded. "I guess he didn't tell you."

Again there was that bitter laugh. "Well at this point that's just about what I can expect from Elliot."

"Kathy I really am sorry about Elliot and you. I wish things were different."

"You and me both. But I'll pull through Don. It's not like this is the first time we've separated."

"Still, it must be hard, taking care of 3 kids alone. Thank God Maureen and Kathleen are old enough now."

"Yeah, well I guess gotta be grateful for little blessings."

"Anyway, I'm sorry if I took your time. If you think of any place where he could be, please call me. Again, Kathy, it's important."

"Okay. I will Don."

"Thank you."

Cragen stood up then and turned to take his leave. But then Kathy suddenly spoke up again. "Wait Don. You know Bernie?"

"Elliot's mom?"

"Yeah, well she recently moved to Florida to a retirement community there and her house was left empty. I'm not sure if he's there, but I could see him going there if he wanted to get away. It's a beach house along the Jersey shore."

Cragen nodded. "Thanks, Kathy. Can I ask you? If you think he's there, why haven't you gone to him?"

Kathy shook her head. "We're over. For good this time. And I know him. Sooner or later, he'll come back for the sake of the kids. But if you only saw how he was when I sent him packing. Until he's….better…I'd rather he stay away from us."

Cragen nodded again. "Thanks Kathy. And I'm sorry. Say hi to the kids for me."

"Will do."

Cragen nodded again and started walking him towards the door. Just before Cragen left, Kathy had one last thing to say. "Don?"

Cragen looked at her and Kathy met his eyes. "I know you'll find him. And I hope when you do, you can tell him that his kids love him and miss him."

"I will Kathy, I promise. And I'll call you when I do."

"Thank you."

And with that, Kathy closed the door and Captain Cragen left.

The next day, a Saturday, in the late afternoon, Cragen put Munch in charge and he and Fin left for Seaside Heights.

Being NYPD had its advantages and even though Kathy had not given Cragen an address, he had known the name of Elliot's mother since it was in his file. From there it was easy to get an address.

The traffic in Manhattan and the Jersey Turnpike were horrible and it was already well into the night when Captain Cragen and Fin got to Seaside Heights. Thanks to GPS navigation, they were able to find the house quickly.

They were already in Seaside Heights by the time they actually acknowledged that this could very well turn out to be a futile trip. Kathy, after all, only said he might be there. She never said that he would be.

"Cap, what if he isn't here?" Fin asked, as he parked their car across the street from the address that they obtained. "I mean this doesn't look promising, the house is dark." Fin gestured to it.

"I know, Fin but for the sake of his kids and Olivia and their future child, we have to check out all possibilities."

"Alright Cap, you're call. Shall we?"

They got out of the car and went up to the house. They knocked on the door but there was no answer. "Let's try out back." Cragen said to Fin. "He might be at the beach."

"Okay."

It was already dark and they slowly made their way to the back. When they go there, they saw the door ajar and their policeman's instinct woke up instantly. Drawing their guns, they made their way quietly inside.

As Fin turned the corner, he said, "Clear."

Captain Cragen came up from behind him and headed to the living room. "Clear." He said.

It was in the living room that they found Elliot. He was sprawled on the couch, not moving. For one brief and fearful moment, they got scared that he was dead. But suddenly he moved and turned, knocking down an empty bottle of vodka as he did so.

Fin leaned towards Elliot and caught a strong whiff of alcohol as Cragen picked up the empty bottle.

"Cap, he's dead drunk." Fin declared.

"I hope he didn't finish all of this in one sitting." Captain Cragen said, a worried tone in his voice as he held up the empty bottle of Stolichnaya Vodka.

"Let's hope not."

Captain Cragen went up to Elliot and checked his pulse. It was strong and steady. Elliot never stirred. He was that drunk.

"I think he's good." Captain Cragen said. "His pulse is pretty strong."

"So what do we do, Cap? I doubt that we'd be able to wake him up right now and even if we did, I doubt he'd be comprehending anything we say. Should we just come back tomorrow?"

"Well we could do that or we could just stay overnight somewhere here. I'm sure there are cheap hotels nearby. After all, this is Seaside Heights. Of course, unless you have plans tonight then I understand. You can just take the car and leave me here. I'll be fine I can take the bus or train back to Manhattan." Cragen answered.

"No Cap, no plans tonight. I'll be glad to stay. Besides, I really do want to talk to Elliot too."

"Okay."

"Should we leave him a note?"

"And give him a chance to bolt? Hell no. As far as he knows, we were never here. At least now we know where he is."

"Right. So let's jet."

"Yeah, let's grab something to eat and find a place to stay for the night." Captain Cragen suggested.

"Great idea, I'm famished."

"Me too. Let's go before he wakes up."

As they walked out, Fin took one last look at Elliot and said, "Bye Elliot, sleep tight because you are going to need your energy and wits about you when we see you tomorrow."

At that, they closed the door and left.

_**Up next, Cragen and Fin confront Elliot – what happens? Does he get angry? Scared? Run away? What do you think? How should Elliot react? **_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's and not mine.**_

_**Happy reading! Please review. This is quite an emotionally charged chapter. **_

It was 9 am and Elliot had been awake for a couple of hours. But he still didn't get up from the couch. His head was throbbing and his stomach was growling but still he did not get up. He didn't want to get up. He didn't see the point of anything. Something died in him with Jenna that day. Sleep did not help him from his living nightmare. Because when he slept, he had nightmares. He re-lived that day over and over again no matter how much he tried to shut it out. And sometimes the nightmares would take a turn for the worse and he would dream that Jenna shot Olivia instead of Sister Peg. Just a few centimeters more it would have been Olivia and not Sister Peg. Only drunken sleep eased the nightmares. When he slept, dead drunk, he would not dream. Or if he did, he wouldn't remember the dreams at all.

Suddenly, he was awakened from his stupor as he heard loud knocking on his door. At first, he ignored it. He thought whoever was there would go away if he ignored it long enough. But it didn't, in fact the knocking just became more persistent and more loud. Finally, he groaned and got up. Whoever it was on the other side was going to get it from him.

He raised his voice and said, "Hold on. Jesus!" His annoyance was clear in his tone.

Still only in his sweat pants, he trudged to the door and opened it with an oath. "What the hell….?"

He broke off at the sight of his former captain and fellow detective in front of him. Instead of greeting them, Elliot's expression became even more stormy. "What are you two doing here? How did you find me?"

"Nice to see you too, Elliot." Fin replied, sarcastically, his anger was simmering at the surface and evident in his tone. Fin was crackling his knuckles and Elliot knew he was dying to take a swing at him.

"Cool it, Fin." Cragen told him, fixing him with a stare that told him to do as he was told now. Fin stood back, obeying his Captain. Once he saw that Fin was not about to pummel Elliot, Cragen turned back to his former detective. "Hi, Elliot. Sorry to barge in like this."

"Well yeah, you're here now so just tell me what you came you here for and get the hell out." Elliot replied, turning his back to them. He went to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

"Captain, please, just once." Fin begged, crackling his knuckles again.

"Fin!"Cragen raised his voice now. "If you are going to be unable to remain cool, then go outside and I'll handle it."

Fin looked at his Captain and stood down again. "Are you cool?" Cragen asked. It was clear that he meant what he said.

Fin nodded and Cragen walked up to Elliot who remained in the kitchen area, drinking beer. "Jesus, Elliot." Cragen let his concern show through. He grabbed the beer from Elliot's hand and poured it down the sink. Elliot didn't protest but both men could see a vein twitching on his forehead due to suppressed rage. "It's 9 am, and you're drinking. What the hell?"

Elliot started laughing – it was a laughter without humor and he replied, "What the hell, Don? If you can't see it, then let me tell you, I'm already in hell. I've been in hell for the last two months. So if you don't mind, I don't need your Alcoholics Anonymous bullshit . I'm no longer part of your squad so you can't command me what to do or not do anymore. "

That did it, before Cragen could see or react, Fan had crossed over to the kitchen and punched Elliot right on his jaw. "Don't you dare talk to him that way ever again. Ever! So help me God!" Fin shouted, his resentment and fury finally getting the best of him.

Elliot who was hungover and not expecting it, fell down but immediately got up and was about to retaliate when Cragen went in between them and shouted, "Stop! Both of you just !" He pointed to Fin. "Get out. Wait for me in the car."

Fin nodded but he didn't leave without one last parting shot at Elliot. "Stabler. You're a coward. You left and you don't know the mess you left behind. I'm glad you're not part of the squad anymore. Cowards don't belong in SVU."

Elliot made a motion to rush him but Cragen blocked him and told Fin in a cold, no-nonsense voice, "Fin. Get out. Wait for me in the car."

Without another word, Fin walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Elliot had a bloody lip and he was massaging his jaw where Fin had connected with his punch. Cragen took a deep breath as he turned to face him again. He nearly flinched at the anger that he saw on Elliot's face.

"Elliot, I'm sorry about Fin. But you don't understand."

"What do I not understand Don? Please. You're the ones who barged in here. I don't even know how you found me, but you came here without any invitation and then I'm called a coward and I get punched?"

"He's angry."

"He's angry? Because I chose to leave SVU? I think that's my fucking choice to make." Anger was making eyes a deep blue color. He went to the fridge again and got another beer and drank deeply as soon as he opened it.

Disapproval was clearly etched on Cragen's face and Elliot saw it. He snickered, "Care to have a beer with me, Don?" He was taunting his Captain. He knew that Cragen was a recovering alcoholic and to offer him a beer was a definite low blow. He hated himself even more if that was possible and inwardly he cringed at his own words. Why was he saying this to a guy who had done nothing but defend him and stood by him for so long. But he didn't back down.

Cragen's calm broke then and he pounded on the table nearest him. "Damn you, Elliot." His voice was cold and for a second Elliot thought he was also going to punch him.

But Cragen took a deep breath and reined himself in. The effort to calm down was an obvious one but again it didn't matter much to Elliot it seemed.

Elliot chuckled. "Well I'm already damned so you damning me is not really gonna matter much, Don."

He walked out of the kitchen and went back to the couch and sat there. For a few moments, the two of them were just silent. Cragen remaine by the kitchen and took the opportunity to calculate his move. He needed to tell Elliot about Olivia.

Elliot was drinking fast and he was nearly finished with his bottle. The alcohol seemed to calm him down a bit and though he was still clearly angry, his voice was calmer when he spoke again. "Don, what are you doing here? I'm sorry, but as you can see I'm clearly in no state to entertain company. I just want to be left alone for now. So just say what you came to say and then please leave."

Cragen remained silent. He just looked at Elliot. Sighing, Elliot repeated, "Please, Don."

"Alright. If that's how you want to play it, Elliot."

"That's how I want to play it." Elliot replied, finishing off his beer. His mood had swung again and the resentment came back.

He got up from the couch and went to the fridge and got another beer. He had downed half of it before Cragen spoke again.

"Elliot I came here to tell you two things. First, your family. Jesus, Elliot, please call your kids. I know you and Kathy are over, but please call your kids. Tell them where you are because they are worried sick about you."

Tears sprang into Elliot's eyes as he listened to Cragen. Not wanting to show any softness in front of him, he hastily wiped his eyes and took another long sip of his beer. He nodded in acknowledging what Cragen said but didn't reply to the statement. Instead he said, "You said two things. What's the second?"

"The second is about Olivia." Cragen replied.

At his words, Elliot was suddenly gripped with a cold fear. About Olivia? Did something happen to Olivia? Because aside from his kids, she was about the only good thing he had left. That is if she'd still speak to him after what he did 2 months ago. Struggling to maintain a detached tone, he asked, "What about Olivia?"

Elliot looked at Cragen straight in the eye. Cragen could see the worry that he was trying hard to conceal in them and he decided to end the agony that Elliot was in. "Don't worry, she's okay."

Elliot could not suppress the sigh of relief that escaped him. But when he realized that Cragen had seen this, his guard went up again. "So what about her?"

Cragen decided not to mince any more words. "She's pregnant."

Elliot paled at his words.

"Elliot, the baby's yours. She told us."

"What?" Elliot's voice was a mere whisper. He put the beer down and he walked over to the couch again and sat down. He cradled his head in his hands for a few moments.

Cragen walked over to Elliot and sat on the chair opposite him. He did not speak but remained quiet. Elliot finally looked up and Cragen saw he had tears in his eyes. "Liv's pregnant with my baby?"

"Yes, Elliot she is."

Elliot broke down then. His body wracked with sobs and Cragen could only helplessly watch. He wanted to embrace him because truth be told he had come to think of Elliot as a son after all the years they worked together. But he knew Elliot would not like that. So he just let him cry.

Finally, Elliot pulled himself together and spoke again, his voice strained. "Don, what am I going to do? I left because I didn't want to fuck up her life."

"I know Elliot."

"Oh, God. Don, I love her. I know you know that. I've loved her all these years. I love her so much and I don't want to be the guy that messes her up life."

"My opinion?"Cragen asked him gently. Elliot nodded his assent and Cragen continued, "I think you not being in her life will mess her up even more than you being in it ever will. Especially now."

Elliot didn't answer. He couldn't answer.

Cragen stood up. He knew Elliot couldn't be pushed to do anything right now. He was going to have to come to terms with everything in his own time. But at least now he knew. And that's all he could do for now.

"Son, I know it feels like you're in hell right now, but everything will get better. Pull yourself together. And you don't need to do this by yourself, and whether you see it or not, we're still here for you. We know why you left SVU. You left your job, but I'd like to think you didn't leave us. Especially Liv."

He patted Elliot on his shoulder and walked away. Just before he closed the door, he took one last look at Elliot, who was just on the couch, head on his hands. He looked up above and prayed silently. "Please help him find his way back." With that prayer, he closed the door behind him and walked back to the car.

_**A/N: So Elliot knows now. What is he going to do? Any suggestions? As always reviews are appreciated. **_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**I struggled a bit with this chapter. It became especially hard to write it, when it the middle of writing I decided to view a clip about Chris Meloni that I saw on Twitter! Hella funny…so funny that it became hard to write a chapter that was emotional. Anyway, enough of my rambling, nevertheless I hope that you guys will enjoy this chapter. Please review. Thanks.**_

Saturday Night - Olivia

Alex and Casey were over at Olivia's place. The girls had decided they needed to cheer Olivia up. So they had brought sparkling cider and lots of comfort food. Alex had brought something she called a Magic Mic – she said it was a microphone with a chip inside that you could connect to your tv and you could do karaoke.

Casey and Olivia had groaned at her announcement. "Are you serious?" Casey said. "Karaoke?"

"Alex, I can't sing to save my life!" Olivia declared.

Alex waved their protests aside and told them, "Come on guys, it's just us. Who cares if we're not exactly the Supremes. It's just for fun. With our jobs, we need to let off steam once in a while otherwise we'd crack."

Casey and Olivia exchanged glances. "That's true." Casey conceded. "But still karaoke?"

"Come Casey, let's have some fun. We deserve it. Especially this one here." Alex replied, pointing to Olivia.

Casey and Olivia looked at each other again. "Please?" Alex asked, in a small baby girl voice.

Hearing the voice that Alex used, Olivia laughed and threw up her hands. "Why not? What the hell?"

"Yey!" Alex said gleefully.

"However, I will not sing I Will Survive. I know that's the national anthem when it comes to karaoke and I will not sing it." Olivia gave her disclaimer.

"Me either." Casey echoed, folding her arms over her chest.

Alex rolled her eyes and gave a mock pout. "Fine, no Gloria Gaynor. BUT! We will sing Abba – Dancing Queen to be exact. Okay?"

Casey groaned. And Olivia had to laugh again. Casey was clearly in agony while Alex was clearly enjoying herself.

"Fine, Alex, Dancing Queen it is." Olivia agreed.

"But can we eat first?" Casey asked.

"No problem. That way we have more energy to sing with!" Alex exclaimed.

Slapping a hand to her forehead, Casey just shook her head and started to bring out the take out they had brought. Out came burgers and pasta and some fruits and of course the sparkling cider. They didn't want to drink since Olivia couldn't drink with them now. So it was an alcohol free night.

During dinner, Alex asked, "So how did the doctor's appointment go?"

Olivia swallowed her burger and then answered, "It went well. Dr. Chin said I was about 8 weeks along. And that I was due sometime mid January."

"January 21st to be exact." Casey added.

"Well give or take two weeks." Olivia said, taking another bite of her burger.

Alex nodded. "Did she give you any instructions?

"Well basically, she just said to take it easy. She told what to expect, what's normal, what's not. She also told me that I had to ask to be assigned to desk duty already. Because of my age, my pregnancy can be delicate so I can't be too stressed."

"Yeah, she did say that." Casey interjected. "Have you asked Cragen already, by the way?"

"Haven't had the chance. But I'm pretty sure that shouldn't be a problem. I'm going to tell him next week. On Monday."

"Good." Alex said. Then suddenly she gave a big smile. "Oh my God, Liv, you're going to be a mom finally! I'm so excited for you."

"I know. When I heard his heartbeat yesterday, I was so excited and happy that I cried." Oivia confided.

"Yeah, she did." Casey confirmed. "And so did I."

"Casey, I didn't know you were so sentimental!" Alex replied.

"Well, yeah…I'm a sentimental schmuck, what can I say?"

Olivia and Alex chuckled at her answer. Then Olivia sobered, "I just wish…" She sighed, breaking off in midsentence.

The smiles faded from Alex and Casey's faces. They knew what she was thinking…or rather who she suddenly remembered.

Alex was about to make a comment on what a complete ass Elliot was but checked herself. They were there to make sure Olivia didn't mope. She had read somewhere that the baby felt the stress and sadness of a mother when it was inside the womb. She did not want that for Olivia's baby.

"Liv," Casey spoke up gently, "I'm sure things will work out."

Alex forced a smile and looked at Olivia. "Liv, Casey's right. I now it's a less than ideal situation. But things will get better. And while we're not…him…Casey and I are your friends…we love you…we will be here to help you out okay? Until…until you need us. Okay?"

A tear slid down Olivia's cheek but she quickly put a stop to her tears. She was not going to mope tonight. The doctor told her being depressed was bad for the baby. So she forced herself to smile. She looked at Casey and Alex, both with concerned expressions on their faces right then. "Thanks, Case, Alex. "

"No problem." Casey replied.

"Yeah, now, no more sad stories. Let's finish eating, so we can sing!" Alex told them in a mock commanding voice.

"Ay ay Captain Alex." Olivia gave her a jaunty salute, chuckling.

"So wait," Casey interjected, "Have you thought of names?"

"Not really." Olivia admitted. "I'm still coming to terms that I'm actually pregnant you know? The one thought I had was that if I had a girl, she'd probably have Serena in her name…you know after my mom?"

"Yeah…" Alex replied and Casey nodded in understanding.

"Anyway, I still have a long ways to go to figure it out." Olivia said.

"Can you do me a favor, Liv?" Alex asked suddenly.

"Sure, if it's something within my power and within reason." Olivia told her a bit puzzled at her friend's sudden request.

"Please, please, please! Whatever you do, do not name that kid if's a boy – Edward or Jacob and if it's a girl, I beg of you, do not name it Bella!" Alex pleaded feelingly.

Casey and Olivia looked at each other, looking confused. "I don't get it." Olivia confessed.

"I have to admit, neither do I." Casey added.

"Oh, God you two! Have you been hiding under a rock? I guess with that kind of answer I won't worry about you naming your kid those names – but just to let you know those names have been the most popular baby names for the past couple of years – thanks to those Twilight movies."

Again, Alex was met with blank stares.

"Seriously? You have no idea?"

"Uh…is it like Harry Potter?" Casey asked.

"No! Twilight is about a vampire and a werewolf who…ooh, never mind. Just please, Liv, do not name the kid Edward, Jacob or Bella. PLEASE!" Alex asked again.

Olivia laughed at her friend's dramatics and replied, "Alex if it means that much to you I promise you, I will not name my future son or daughter those names."

"Thanks, Liv!" She smiled at her friend. Casey just laughed too and shook her head. "Anyway!" Alex declared, "Looks like we are done with dinner, so it's time to sing!"

Olivia and Casey groaned but they saw that there was no dissuading Alex so they allowed themselves to be led into singing.

Saturday Night - Elliot

Back in Seaside Heights, Elliot was sober for the first time in a long time. After Cragen and Fin's visit he had completely broken down. He poured out the beer that he had been drinking and for the first time, he didn't want to get drunk. For the first, he looked at himself in the mirror and he cried. He cried for the man that he was, the man he is and the man that he wanted to be. He did not want to go back the way he was. Hell, he didn't want to be the way he was. More than anyone, he owed it to himself to fix things. For the first time in years, probably since he got Kathy pregnant, he needed to take care of himself. Because if he didn't, how can he expect to take care of Olivia or their unborn child or his current children if he didn't take care of himself first?

And so, that night, he called George Huang, the FBI psychiatrist that SVU works with. He made an appointment with him for next week. Doing that had been hard but it had been necessary. And if he was honest with himself, he felt better after making the appointment. He knew that the session with Huang was not going to be easy, but it was something he needed to get done so that he could move on and get rid of his nightmares and live, laugh and love again.

The call out of the way, Elliot felt himself getting restless again. He wanted to drink. But he told himself he would not. If he drank, it'd be because he wanted to, not because he needed to use it as a band-aid. His eyes fell on his cell phone and after hesitating a moment he dialed *69 to hide his number and the proceeded to dial Olivia's cell phone number.

Her number rang and rang then proceeded to voice mail. Hearing her voice even on voice mail took his breath away. Hi this is Olivia. If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911. If this isn't an emergency, I'm sorry I can't take your call right now but please leave your name number and a brief message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. He heard the beep signaling to begin his message. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead he hung up. He wasn't ready to talk to her. He needed time to get himself together. He did not want to be this Elliot when he finally faced her. She deserved more than that. Their child deserved more than that.

Saturday Night – Olivia

Karaoke night was finally over and though she had fun, she was tired and wanted to rest already. She cleaned up and then got ready for bed. It wasn't until after she had settled in bed that she saw the missed call.

She checked the call log and it said "private number".

She checked her voice mail, because her phone said she had a new message. But when she checked it there was just a few moments of silence before the caller hung up. Briefly she wondered or was it that she hoped - that it was Elliot. She recalled just now with a pang that Cragen and Fin were going to Seaside Heights to check if he was there. So far they hadn't gotten in touch with her, so she assumed that they were met with nothing over there. If it wasn't so late, she'd call Fin and ask but as it is, she decided not to.

Olivia sighed and unconsciously touched her stomach. Though she still couldn't feel it's movements or presence because it was too early, she knew she already loved this child. She didn't really care whether it was boy or a girl, she just wanted it to be normal and healthy.

As sleep started to overtake her, a single tear fell down her cheek.

Sunday morning – Elliot

Elliot awoke with a renewed purpose today. He decided that he needed to see Olivia. He had decided that while he needed the time and space to heal, he also needed to tell her exactly that. He couldn't leave her hanging. He needed to tell her that he knew that she was pregnant. He needed to assure her that he wasn't going to run out on her.

And so after his first completely sober breakfast in weeks, he grabbed the keys to his car and started his way into the city.

_**A/N: Will Elliot go through with talking to Olivia? Or will something or someone talk him out of it? Find out on the next update.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are owned by Dick Wolf.**_

_**Elliot finally gets the courage to face Olivia….**_

Sunday

When he got into the city, Elliot did not go to Olivia's right away. Instead, he first went to St. Patrick's Cathedral on Fifth Avenue. It was Sunday and on Sunday, Elliot always tried to hear mass. Some people may say that it's too much of tourist trap but Elliot loved the place. No matter how crowded it got and no matter how bad he was feeling, when he stepped into the Cathedral, he felt calm, safe and cared for.

Elliot heard Mass at the Cathedral. The second half of a Catholic mass is called the Liturgy of the Eucharist. This was after the Gospel and this is when the consecration of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ happened. This was also the half of the mass that people turned to each other and wished each other peace. During this part, as he turned to his fellow mass goers to receive and give them peace, tears stung Elliot's eyes. A big part of him thought that he could never find peace again.

_**Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.**_

_**Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.**_

_**Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.**_

Elliot closed his eyes tightly, keeping the tears at bay. Then as the congregation sank to their knees for the communion rite, he prayed, "Please Lord, help me find peace again." He bowed his head in reverence as the priest said, raising the holy Host to the heavens, "This is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, happy are those who are called to His supper."

"_**Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed."**_ Elliot had never meant that phrase more than now. "Please heal me, help me find peace again, Lord."

At first, Elliot didn't want to receive communion. Because he shot Jenna, even in self defense, and because he had extra-marital relations with Olivia, he shouldn't be able to receive communion until he confessed his sins and was absolved. But he believed in a God that was forgiving and who offered comfort, so after a moment's hesitation, he went in line to receive communion.

When he got to the front, he held up his hands to receive the host. Raising the host to Elliot, the priest said, "The Body of Christ."

"Amen." Elliot replied as he received the host. He put the host in his mouth, drank from the chalice which contained the wine representing the Blood of Christ then went back to his seat.

He kneeled down and prayed. But his heart and mind were so full of emotions he couldn't speak. He couldn't get the words out. So instead, he just said, "Lord, you know what's in my heart, please hear my prayer. Please take care of everyone that I've hurt and please help me to heal so that I can undo the damage I've done. Please. Amen."

After he said his prayer, he oddly felt better. It was always this way with him. He always felt better after praying and sometimes he wondered, why he didn't do it more often. He saw so many things in his former line of work that people of less faith would say is proof that there isn't a God. But the fact that people can get through the most horrific of things, it proved to Elliot, that there was something greater than him out there who was in command. He was not the type of man to impose his faith in others. But for himself, his faith had kept him, all these years from giving in to his darker side.

Fifteen minutes later, the mass was over and he left the Cathedral . He checked his watch and saw that it was nearly noon. He decided to grab a quick bite before heading to Olivia's. He justified that he wasn't really stalling, he just didn't want to ruin her lunch.

With that decision, he headed to find himself something to eat. He knew he was probably going to need a lot of strength when he faced her.

Olivia woke up to a beautiful Sunday. The sunny but breezy day cheered her up as she walked to her local bagel shop for her breakfast. Alex and Casey had cheered her up considerably last night and though part of her was still sad, she nevertheless felt better than she had in days.

After her breakfast, she decided to go to the Farmer's market on Union Square and check out what she could find there. She browsed through the fresh produce and the freshly made jams, cakes, breads and more. In the end, she ended up buying some fruit, some nice homemade focaccia bread and some homemade blueberry jam and peanut butter.

It was still just about 1030 am, and with nothing to do at home, Olivia decided to head to the Barnes and Noble to check out some baby books. She browsed to the baby care section and found a couple of books that would help her in her pregnancy and a book on baby names. She decided to buy all three before heading out.

She was getting somewhat tired and remembering what her OB-GYN had said to her about not pushing herself she decided it was time to head home. With the books and the her goodies from the Farmer's market, she had a lot of carry so she decided to just take a cab home.

Upon getting there, she decided to break out the bread and the blueberry jam for her lunch. As she ate, she started on one of the books that she bought.

The book was both interesting and scary with the facts it presented. She found herself totally lost in it that she didn't realize that she had finished her lunch and that it was after 1 pm already. Her reverie was only broken when she heard a knock on her door.

Startled from her reading, Olivia lifted her head with a start. Who could that be? She had not heard a buzz from her buzzer yet there was someone at the door. It must be one of her neighbors she concluded.

For one brief moment, she considered not answering the door, so comfortable was she in her current position. But then she decided against it. It was not normal for her to do something a bit rude, in her estimation and it wasn't a habit she wanted to get started on.

Reluctantly, she got to her feet and went to the door, saying, "Who is tit?"

The person on the other side did not answer, prompting Olivia to look at her peephole. When she saw who was standing there, she gasped. Though her first instinct was to open the door, she resisted the impulse and instead said to him in a quivering voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Liv, please, can I come in? I need to talk to you." Elliot's voice was soft.

She considered telling him to go to hell, but then she remembered their child and taking a deep breath, she finally unlocked her door and opened it.

The shock of seeing him after all these months got to Olivia and she suddenly felt light headed. She almost fell in her dizziness. Elliot saw this and caught her just in time, "Liv," he exclaimed, concerned. His arms went around her as he steadied her.

Liv shook her head as if to shake away the dizziness and putting a hand against the wall, she extracted herself from Elliot and replied, "I'm okay. Just felt dizzy for a while there."

Elliot looked at her as if he didn't believe her at first and was going to protest but then he decided against it. "Okay."

"So…what brings you here?" Olivia asked, a sarcastic edge to her tone.

She never formally invited him in but she didn't kick him out so he walked in and closed the door behind her.

She sat on the couch and waited for him to speak. He walked over to where she sat and seeing that she wasn't going to make it easy on him, he sat without being asked to.

Elliot turned to face her and didn't speak at first. He just took her in. Suddenly the months apart sank in and all he wanted to do was embrace her and kiss her. But she had her arms wrapped around herself, her feet and knees on the couch giving him the definite signal to keep his distance. Nevertheless he said what was on his mind, "Liv, I…how are you? I've missed you."

His words were met by silence and then suddenly a mirthless laugh. "You've missed me? Really? You have a very funny way of showing that Elliot."

Elliot not El. He was sure she said his full name deliberately instead of her usual affectionate nickname for him. It spoke volumes.

But Olivia wasn't finished. She continued in a tone dripping with something that was almost like contempt, "How am I? What do you care?"

"I do care, Liv." Elliot replied simply, looking straight into her eyes. He attempted to try and hold her hand but Olivia wouldn't let him. She slapped it away when he reached for her.

"Don't touch me Elliot. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I should have never let you touch me to begin with." Her words were bitter, her expression angry and her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I walked out on you two months ago, I didn't mean to hurt you…" Elliot apologized.

"But you did hurt me, Elliot." A tear slipped down Olivia's cheek and Elliot felt his heart break a little more when he saw it.

He reached out again and wiped the cheek the tear fell at. Olivia closed her eyes when his hand touched her skin but then she brushed his hand away again, steeling herself from further hurt. In a low, anguished voice she repeated, "Don't touch me."

"Liv, please!" Elliot begged. "I know I hurt you. I know I was wrong!"

"Yes you were!" Olivia cut in, her words, firm and loud. "How dare you, Elliot! How dare you sleep with me and then the next morning when I wake up, you're gone! And all I'm left with is a note!"

"Liv, I love you. I know I hurt you, but please know that I only did that because I love you."

Olivia laughed bitterly, "You love me, Elliot? I may not have much experience in love, but I do know this, people who love you don't leave like that. You not only made me an adulterer that night, but in the morning you made me feel like a cheap whore." The tears spilled from her eyes relentlessly as she rocked back and forth on the sofa, her knees to her chest and her arms around them.

"Liv, please stop this. Stop crying. It's bad for your baby…our baby." Elliot pleaded with her.

Olivia gasped at his words and she looked up at him. She found him gazing at her but she still didn't say anything. He inched closer to her, hoping to comfort her. But to his dismay, she shrank away from him. "Our baby?" Her words were but a whisper.

Elliot nodded, trying for a small smile. "Our baby. Liv, sweetheart, I know."

Olivia forced herself to stop crying and succeeded. She hastily wiped her tears, angry at herself for breaking down in front of him. He did not need to see her vulnerable. A cold and calm look came over Olivia's face. Then in a deadly voice she told him, "Our baby? Yes, Elliot, I am pregnant, but it's not yours."

The slight smile that was on Elliot's faded quickly as her words cut at him like a knife.

"Don't flatter yourself Elliot. You're not the only guy in my life you know. If you must know the father, not that it's any of your business, the father is Trevor not you. So if your purpose here today is that then please, there's no need for any of this."

Elliot looked at her, there was no smile in his face now, but surprisingly there was no anger either. Only hurt and extreme sadness was there. He knew why she said what she did, and he didn't blame her.

"I don't believe you, Liv."

"My God, Elliot, you're not the end all and be all of my world, contrary to what you believe." Olivia stood up and faced him.

Elliot stood up and he closed the gap between them, leaving very little space between them. This time Olivia did not step away and she met his gaze defiantly, her arms folded across her chest. "Liv…" he forced her arms apart and she struggled but then he held her wrists firmly enough that she couldn't get away but not hard enough that she'd get hurt. "Liv, I was wrong to leave you like that. I know that. Even when I was doing it, I knew it was wrong. But please believe me I had to. I love you too much to drag you down with me. Liv, I have nothing to offer you. Look at me I'm a mess. Liv please. I'm so sorry. I was wrong, but I know that baby you're carrying is mine."

"It's not." Olivia insisted, but she didn't meet his stare.

"Liv, it is. That baby inside you is ours."

"Don found you and told you didn't he?" Her anger suddenly faded and all he heard was the question in her voice.

"Yes." He stated it a matter of factly. "So please don't tell me it's Trevor's Liv, because I know it's mine."

Olivia glanced at him and once more, tears stung her eyes. "I'm not your obligation, Elliot."

She walked away from him and turned her back.

"Damn it, Liv." Elliot followed her and determinedly made her look at him but she wouldn't. Her eyes remained downcast. "I'm not here out of obligation. I'm here because I love you… Liv, please look at me. I…"

Suddenly, Elliot was crying too. His sobs shook Olivia to the core. She hesitated for a moment, but then her heart melted. Try as she might, she was in love with him. And she could not bear to see him so shattered even when he was hurting her in the process. She took a step towards him and took him in his arms. She remembered that night two months ago. They were also both crying and here they were again, crying in each other's arms again.

Finally, their tears subsided and Elliot extracted himself briefly from her embrace and told her softly, "Liv, I love you. I'm so sorry I left."

"I love you, too. That's why it hurt so much, you know?"

"I know. But Liv, I only did it because I didn't want to be the guy that fucked up your life. My life is fucking mess. The only good thing that came out of all of this is that I finally faced up to the fact that my marriage with Kathy is over. I stopped living that lie."

"Don't say that, El."

Despite the despair he felt, Elliot gave a tiny smile then. "It's good to hear you call me that again."

Olivia smiled back, nodding. "We're going to have a baby, El. Don't you think that's a great thing too?"

"Yeah…you can't even imagine, how good that feels, Liv. " He reached out and touched her stomach. Olivia smiled at his touch. There was nothing sexual in that touch at the moment, only love. " But Liv, please can we sit down and talk. I have to tell you a lot of things."

Olivia nodded and led them to the couch. When they were both seated, Elliot spoke again. "First of all, I never want you to ever doubt again that I love you. I love you, Liv. All these years, I've denied it because it was the easy path. If I denied loving you as anything more than a friend, then I wouldn't have to stop living the lie with Kathy and I wouldn't run the risk of losing my kids. I wouldn't have to risk you not feeling the same way and ruining our partnership. I wouldn't have to risk having to lose the position I love in SVU. And most especially, I wouldn't have to risk having to have another partner. But Liv, no more lies,no more denial, I love you. That baby was made by two people who love each other not just two people fucking each other. "

Olivia smiled and Elliot pulled her into his arms, letting her lean against him. But then she sobered even as she remained in his embrace, she asked, "What about Kathy?"

"We're getting divorced, Liv. I haven't stayed there since the day I left you. When I got home I told her what I had done and she told me to get out. She filed for divorce a week later."

"I'm sorry El." Olivia turned her head and looked up at him.

"It's okay, Liv. I will always have a special place in my heart for her, because she's the mother of my first five kids, but I'm no longer in love with her. I haven't been for a long time. It's been you for a long while now. I'm completely in love with you, Liv."

"I'm in love with you too,El."

Their lips met at that moment and they kissed each other again not with sexual longing but the need to assure one another of their love. Their kiss was soft, gentle and tender.

When they broke apart, Olivia settled in Elliot's arms again and Elliot continued. "Liv, I need to ask something of you. Please hear me out first. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Liv, I called Huang yesterday. After Don and Fin left and I gathered myself together I called him. I finally had the guts to admit myself that I needed help. Liv, after that night I had nightmares all the time. And the worst thing is sometimes in my nightmare, it was you that gets shot not Sister Peg." A visible shudder ran through Elliot and Olivia felt it.

"El,but I'm here. I'm alive. Don't worry." She reassured him, running her hand up and down his arm that embraced her.

"Liv, that's the problem, whether its Sister Peg or you - I relive that moment over and over. I drink all the time to mask the pain, to numb the pain. My dad drank a lot - you know that and I don't want to be him. And I want to be okay for you and for our baby and my kids."

"Of course. I agree with you El. I'm glad you went to Huang." Olivia said looking up at him. Her voice softened, "But El, you're nothing like your dad. I hope you know that.

Elliot gave her a kiss on her forehead, and gave her small but grateful smile at her words. "The thing is Liv, when I talked to him yesterday he suggested that I check into a rehab of sorts where I can get help for my borderline alcoholism and for therapy. I have an appointment with him tomorrow in fact to get the preliminaries done."

"That's great, El! I'm glad you're getting help. "

"Liv, I want to get better so that I can be there for you and our child."

"Of course."

"The only thing is…the facility is in Connecticut and the treatment is for 90 days and for the first 45 I'm not allowed visitors…."

Olivia looked stricken but then gathering her strength she told him, "Elliot, I'll be okay. You should go."

"I promise I won't run away again. I'll let you know exactly where I am. And from what I hear after two weeks, we can make calls. I want to get over this Liv. I want to be the father that my kids deserve especially the one still inside you. I want to be there for your pregnancy but if I do this, I can't be there for the entirety. So if you' not okay with this, then I won't go. "

"El," Olivia met his blue eyed gaze straight on. She cradled his face in her hands before continuing, "El, go! You need this. Take care of yourself first. Because if you don't, then how can you possibly take care of your kids or our baby? Take the time and heal. I believe you. I trust you. I love you and before you even ask, I forgive you."

A tear snaked its way down Elliot's cheek and Olivia wiped it away. "I love you, too Liv. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They sat in silence again, Olivia leaning against his chest again, his arms around her. "El?" She spoke again.

"Hmmm…"

"Can you stay with me tonight? Please? It may be our last night together for a few months."

"Yes, of course Liv, if you want me to."

"Yes, I want you to." Olivia confirmed.

Elliot smiled at her and they settled back into the couch just holding each other.

Later that night, Elliot and Olivia made love. It was far from how it was last time. This time it was not about trying to block out an awful event, this time it was just about them. It was about showing each other how much they loved each other.

That night, they fell asleep in each other's arms and for the first time in two months, Elliot did not have a nightmare.

_**A/N: Up next, Elliot goes to rehab and Olivia deals with her pregnancy. Will Elliot face his demons or will he come back even more broken? **_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**What happens the next day…**_

The morning after

Olivia woke up with a start. At first she didn't remember why someone was sleeping next to her, holding her in his arms. Then it all came flooding back. Elliot. He had come and set everything to rights. She smiled and then she turned around to face him. She gave him a soft kiss on the lips and he stirred, returning the kiss.

For the first time, Olivia knew the feeling how it was to actually wake up with the person you loved beside you, kissing you. It was a feeling she knew she would die fighting for to keep.

"Hey you." Olivia greeted him huskily, smiling into his blue eyes.

"Good morning." He smiled and began kissing her again.

Olivia kissed him back leisurely at first but their kissing became urgent, hot. Elliot rolled her over and straddled her. Both of them were still naked having fallen asleep after making love the night before so there were no barriers.

Elliot broke off the kiss and then sat up looking at Olivia. She was so beautiful. He couldn't believe she had forgiven him and he was hers.

"Liv…" he whispered, bending down, kissing her on the neck. Olivia moaned in pleasure and Elliot took that as an invitation. He planted feathery soft kisses on her skin until he reached her breasts. Her nipples were already standing in attention as he captured the right one in his mouth, gently sucking on it. His right hand travelled down between her legs, seeking her core. He opened her slightly and then plunged two fingers into her.

"Oh, God!" Olivia exclaimed.

"You're so wet, Liv." Elliot murmured, his voice ragged with desire.

"Please, El." Olivia whimpered, writhing from under him.

Elliot heeded her plea. He released her nipple and trailed kisses down until he reached her wet pussy. He spread her legs and then slowly, gently and deliberately, he licked her wet slit. Olivia bucked up in ecstasy and moaned loudly. "God, El." She felt herself getting even more wet, the ache between her legs getting more intense. She grabbed the back of his head and pushed him against her aching pussy.

Elliot plunged his tongue into her slick walls, licking her relentlessly while his hand found the swollen nub that was her clit and he rubbed it. Olivia whimpered. "El, fuck, so fucking good. I'm so close, baby. Just like that, don't stop, please."

She was pushing her pussy onto his face so much so that his tongue was deep into her. Then he stopped rubbing her clit and instead started to lick and suck it, while his finger went to work, sliding in and out of her pussy. The change in motions and actions brought Olivia to the brink and she clamped down on him as her orgasm overtook her. "Shit, El, I'm coming! Fuck, so good. Shit! El! El!" She screamed his name as her whole body shuddered, waves of pleasure crashing over her.

When her orgasm subsided, Elliot sat up and kissed her hotly before releasing her. "You taste so good, baby." He said.

"Wow!" Olivia told him in a breathless voice. She laid back, spent and breathing rapidly as she came down. A moment passed then Olivia pulled herself up and kissed Elliot again. She could still taste herself in his mouth. She felt his hardness pressing against her stomach and she felt herself get wet again. "Baby…" she said with a whimper. She looked at him with doe eyes.

"What, Liv?" Elliot looked straight into her bright brown eyes that still had that afterglow of her orgasm.

"I want you inside me. Please. Let me feel your cock inside me. I want to come again with you inside me." Then as if to emphasize her need, she grabbed his big and hard cock with her hand and aligned it with her wet slit, urging him to penetrate her.

"Fuck, Liv." Elliot remarked as he obeyed her and he slowly pushed his engorged cock inside her wet, tight and waiting pussy. He knew he was big and it was a tight fit inside her so he did it slowly. "Liv, you're so tight. You feel so fucking good baby."

Olivia was still flushed from her orgasm but she was already writhing with arousal again. "Please, El, all the way in. I want you all the way in inside me."

She was pushing her pelvis upward in her eagerness to have his entire length inside her. He reacted by instinct and though he wanted to take it more slowly, Elliot plunged all the way in. "Oh God, Liv!" She was so tight and being inside her felt so good. Her wet tissues were hugging his cock so tightly that though he was just still, it was all he could do to keep from coming right then and there.

Olivia pulled herself up and then flipped them over. She was on top now and she was so aroused that she didn't wait for him. Instead, she put her hands on his chest and straddled him. She started moving up and down on his cock. Her movements were frenzied, her breasts bouncing as she rode him, her pussy grinding on him.

Elliot groaned. He wasn't going to last if she kept this up. He put his hands on her ass, trying to slow her down but she refused to let him. Instead, she took his hands and put them on her breasts, making him pinch her nipples as she continued to ride him.

She leaned back and placing her hands behind her on either side of his legs, she pushed down on him and grinded her pussy. "Liv!" Elliot shouted. "Oh, baby, I'm gonna cum."

"Oh, God El, you feel so good inside me…I'm so close." She sat up straighter and then deliberately raised herself up slowly and then plunged herself down hard on him and she ground her pussy against him.

With that last motion, Elliot went over the edge. He shuddered and then bucked up as he came, spilling his sperm inside her coating her, filling her inside. "Liv, Liv, Love you so much…oh God, Liv, fuck!" His words were a curse and an endearment as the intensity and intimacy of the moment overwhelmed him.

Olivia was so tight that even though it was probably just her imagination, it felt like she felt every throb of his cock as he came inside her and when he pushed up against her, it drove her to her own orgasm. "Oh, God, El, I'm coming. Love….oh baby, love you so much. Oh God!" She rode him furiously as she tried to prolong her orgasm. She went up and down on his cock, her walls wet with his seed and her own juices until her orgasm faded. When it was done, she collapsed on top of him, perspiring and glowing and kissed him deeply her tongue plunging into his mouth seeking his own.

They stayed like that kissing, with Elliot still inside her until Olivia's phone rang. The ringing coaxed a groan from both of them and reluctantly, Olivia answered the phone.

"Benson." She said in a breathless voice.

"Hey, it's Fin. Cap was wondering if you can come in early. He wants to talk to you."

"Anything I should worry about?"

"Nah, baby girl…I think it's about your promotion." Fin advised her.

"Okay. Thanks, Fin. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Alright, take it easy, you hear?"

Olivia chuckled. He sounded like a big brother watching over his little sister right then. If he only knew what his little sister had just been up to. "I hear you. See you in a bit."

She hung up the phone and then regretfully and very reluctantly got up, pulling out Elliot from inside her. "Damn, I got to go."

"You caught a case?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No, Cap wants to talk to me."

"Everything okay at work? And shouldn't he be putting you on desk duty?"

"Yeah, everything's great El. Actually…I'm being promoted." Olivia couldn't hide her happiness.

"What?" Elliot exclaimed. "That's great, Liv!"

"Thanks, El. So I'll be supervising the unit, kind of assisting Cragen in his job. So I really won't be out on field anymore." Olivia told him proudly, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm happy for you, Liv. You deserve it."

"Thanks, El. But I'm even more happy now. I have you back and I'm about to become a mother – finally. And the best thing is, the father of my child is you. It's going to take some getting used to, this happiness, you know? I hope nothing goes wrong."

"Liv, I know we didn't really get to talk too much about the baby last night, but I want to tell you, I'm so happy to be having a child with you. I can't wait for our baby to be born. I have to be honest, I already have three girls, and so I'm kinda hoping for a third boy. But whatever. In the end, I just want to have a normal and healthy baby with you. I'm only sorry I can't be with you throughout the entire pregnancy."

They were already sitting in bed, still naked and Elliot took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. It was like he was apologizing in action as well as with his words.

"El, it's okay. I know it's less than ideal. But you need to take care of yourself first. I want our baby to have a father that's healthy and happy. So don't worry."

"Liv, if it's okay with you, I want to apologize to the guys in the unit. Do you mind if I go with you there this morning? If all goes as planned, I'll be leaving for Connecticut tomorrow and I want to be able to apologize and explain to them before that." Elliot asked her, looking straight into her bright brown eyes.

Olivia smiled. "I'm sure they'd like that El. But only if you're okay with that. You don't have to force yourself to do anything that you're not ready to do. You took a big step with me last night and I love you for it – but even though they're angry right now, those guys are your friends. They'll accept your apology whether it's today or after Connecticut."

"Thank you for saying that, Liv. I appreciate it. But I'm ready, Liv. I walked out without a word two months ago and it's the least I can do. It's what they deserve."

At his words, Olivia found herself teary eyed. "I love you, El. Damn!" She hastily wiped her tears. "I don't know why, but I'm so fucking emotional lately."

Elliot chuckled and gave her a quick kiss on her lips. Then he sobered again. "Well, I put you through hell, so I'm sure it's natural. And again, I am so sorry. So so sorry."

"El, I forgive you, okay? So enough okay? I don't want you to apologize again."

At her words, Elliot pulled her to him and lowered his lips to hers again. His tongue opened her mouth and found Olivia's as their kiss deepened and became more urgent. Elliot's hand began travelling down again and Olivia felt herself getting wet once more. But this time, before there was no turning back, Olivia stopped him. "El, shit. I have to go. We have to go."

Elliot moaned in protest and Olivia saw that his cock was once again hard. "Are you sure?"

Olivia grinned naughtily, grabbed his cock in both hands, lowered her head and gave it a little teasing lick before pulling back up and replying. "Yes, baby, I'm sure."

"Fuck, Liv."

Olivia laughed.

Elliot laughed with her then became serious again. "Liv, if it's okay with Huang, do you think I can stay here tonight and you can drive me to Connecticut tomorrow? That is if it'll be okay with Cragen?"

"I'd like nothing better, El. I hope it'll be okay with George. I'm sure Don will be fine with it."

"God, Liv, how am I going to last three months without you?"

"You will El. But by the time you get back, I'll be big already." Olivia warned him even though she was chuckling.

"You'll still be beautiful." Elliot kissed her again and his hand latched to a breast.

Olivia groaned. "Stop, El. You're going to make me late."

"Do you know pregnant women are hornier than women who are not?" Elliot told her teasingly.

"Really?"

"Yes, baby. It's called hormones. I know I've been through it 5 times already - well four - the third time it was Lizzie and Dickie - twins."

"Shit. Thanks, Elliot. Hopefully in two weeks we can have phone sex if nothing else." Olivia said, looking serious, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"You're serious?" Elliot's eyes bulged at her words.

"Are you allowed cell phones?" Olivia's tone was naughty again.

"I'm not sure." Elliot admitted.

"Well I hope you are. We can make do that way, if you know what I mean." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully.

"Jesus, Liv you are horny. Are you sure we can't do something before we go?" Elliot asked pleadingly.

He didn't wait for an answer this time and instead he knelt down in front of her and spread her legs. Before she could say yes or no, Elliot had bent down and licked her already wet slit.

Olivia's eyes rolled back in pleasure and she gave in, moaning loudly. Elliot spread her legs even wider and his tongue found her distended clit and he sucked on it. Olivia put her legs on his shoulders as Elliot continued ravaging her pussy with his tongue.

Olivia whimpered and told him in a ragged whisper, "El, please. I want you inside me."

Elliot didn't need any further push. Olivia willingly went back into the bed and laid down. There was no more foreplay. Olivia had already shamelessly spread her legs. Elliot wasn't able to resist though and he gave her one last lick causing Olivia to buck and tell him harshly, "Elliot, fuck me, now."

Grinning and flushed, Elliot plunged his rigid and purple red cock inside her. Though he was already on the brink, he moved slowly. His strokes were slow and long, making Olivia swear. He took her left leg and put it on his shoulder. That extra position made him penetrate Olivia more deeply and she whimpered and panted as she held on to the sheets, crumpling them in her hands.

"Oh El, so in love with you, I'm gonna cum, baby."

At her words, Elliot's control broke and he began to thrust in and out of her faster. He took her leg off of his shoulder and grabbed her wrists, raising her arms over head pinning her down. He looked into her eyes as he pumped hard and fast, making her moan even more loudly. She closed her eyes in pleasure and when Elliot saw her eyes closed he told her almost harshly, "Open your eyes, Liv. I want your eyes on mine when I cum. I'm so fucking close baby, please."

Forcing her eyes open, she looked back into Elliot's gaze and what she saw in them, shook her to her very core. She saw desire and more than that she saw his love for her. "Oh God, El."

"Baby, I love you so much….oh Jesus, Liv. I'm coming."

His words drove her to oblivion and she heard herself say to him in a whimper, "El, I'm coming too."

Together they reached their nirvana, shouting each other's names. Elliot continued to thrust in and out her until both their orgasms subsided and once again they both collapsed in each other's arms, sated.

"I'm so in love with you baby. And I love that child in you so much. I love you, Liv. I'm yours, always. " Elliot told her, and she saw that he had tears in his eyes.

"I've always been yours, Elliot. I love you and I love that I'm having a child with you. Don't leave me again, please." Her eyes begged him for reassurance.

Elliot embraced her. "Never again, Liv. I promise."

They were silent then. Then a few minutes later, Olivia glanced at her bedside clock and groaned. "El, we really have to go."

"I know. " There was regret in his voice. "I wish we could stay all day like this, though."

"Me, too." Olivia replied, just as regretfully. But then she brightened and replied, "Well, there's always tonight."

"If George okays it…" His tone was worried.

"Just tell him I need you with me tonight. Tell him you have two months of making up things to me. Okay?"

Elliot gave a shout of laughter and he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Alright babe, I will."

They finally got up and both of them got dressed in record time. Just before they left, Olivia asked Elliot once more, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes." His answer was stated simply.

"You're ready to face them?"

Elliot chuckled. "Yes, Liv. I am. With you behind me and loving me, how can I not be?"

Olivia stopped at his words and looked at him. "I love you, Elliot Stabler."

"I love you, Olivia Benson."

Both of them wanted to kiss again, and they could see it in each other's eyes. But they knew that a kiss would lead to other things. So instead, Olivia just held out her hand to him. Elliot smiled at her and took it in his. "Let's go." Olivia said.

And hand in hand, they walked out the door, ready to face the world together.

_**A/N: Whew! That was a fun chapter to right. Hopefully you guys like the smut and the fluff. Up next, Elliot faces the squad he left and he goes to Huang. Then an incredibly hot and sexy night with Olivia before Connecticut. Or will something go wrong? Reviews please! I didn't get a lot of reviews the last couple of chapters, so hopefully I'll get more this time around. **_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_**A/N: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's **_

_**What happens when Elliot faces his old squad with Olivia standing by his side?**_

The rest of the day…

Olivia and Elliot walked into the entrance of the 16 hand in hand. They didn't see anyone they knew well when they walked in. But as they neared the elevator, Elliot's pace suddenly slowed down. Olivia felt him hold her a little tighter as well prompting her to stop and ask him, "El, again you don't have to do this, you know that right?"

A moment's pause then a deep breath as he shook his head. "No, Liv, I have to do this. I'm ready to do this."

Olivia met his gaze and looked into his blue eyes. Whatever she was searching for she must have found because she smiled and not letting go his hand, she said, "Okay. I'm here, alright? And remember, if they're angry at first, it's only because they're hurt and they care about me."

"I know."

"Ready?" Olivia asked, pressing the up button on the elevator.

"Ready." Elliot confirmed, smiling at her with tenderness. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The elevator doors opened and they stepped in. A few seconds later, they were on the SVU floor. At first no one saw them. Olivia led the way, still holding Elliot's hand as he lagged behind her by one step. The first one to see her was Nick Amaro. Amaro who was Liv's new partner saw that she had a man with her, but did not see she was holding his hand. Instead, he just gave her his usual morning greeting. "Morning, Benson."

At his words, Fin and Munch looked up from their desks and their jaws dropped. Fin immediately stood up. Munch remained seated but he tensed up at the sight of Elliot in their midst again.

Aware of the awkwardness suddenly in the room, Olivia attempted a smile and said, "Hey guys, look who's here."

Still Munch and Fin did not come forward. Hoping to cut through the tension, Nick stepped forward and extended his hand to Elliot. "Hi, I'm Nick Amaro, Olivia's new partner. You must be the ex."

Elliot smiled at Nick, appreciative of his effort, accepted his handshake. "Elliot Stabler."

Amanda took her cue from Nick and approached the duo as well. "Well it's nice to see that the guy named Elliot that Olivia has told us a lot about isn't fictional. Hi, I'm Amanda Rollins. I just transferred to SVU as well."

Elliot shook her extended hand too. "Nice to meet you, Amanda."

"So…" Olivia began to speak but then she was cut off again.

Cragen had just walked out of his office. He stopped all of a sudden when he saw who was there. "Elliot." Cragen said by means of a greeting.

"Hi, Cap." Elliot replied, a bit tentatively. "I hope it's okay that I came here."

Cragen looked at Olivia whose hand was still holding Elliot's. "As long as Liv is okay with it."

"I am Cap." Olivia interjected at once, flashing Elliot a quick reassuring smile and squeezing his hand.

Cragen smiled at her and he saw her mouth to him, "Thank you." He nodded his acknowledgement.

Seeing a smile from Cragen and Olivia's approval pushed Elliot to speak . "Uh, Don I know you guys are busy, but if I could just take a few minutes for your time – that is you, John and Fin and of course Liv, I'd really appreciate it. I'd really like to say something to all of you."

Cragen looked at Munch and Fin, who were still just silent, stone faced at the turn of events. Olivia knew that Fin was really angry at Elliot and Munch who was his partner, was also mad. Not as much as Fin, but since they were partners, Olivia new that Munch supported Fin in his momentary anger and contempt for Elliot. So before Cragen could order them to talk to Elliot and settle things, which she knew would not sit well with either men, it was her who turned to plead for Elliot.

"Fin, John, please for me? Hear him out." She asked simply and directly.

Amanda and Nick discreetly watched the drama in front of them unfolding. They waited with practically bated breaths for Fin and Munch's response. John looked at Fin who didn't react at first. But then, Fin shrugged and replied, "If that's what you want Baby-girl. You got it."

Olivia turned to Munch who answered, "What the man said."

Olivia smiled at the two men – one of whom she thought of as a cranky uncle and the other one, the big brother she never had and said, "Thanks.""

"Come on, let's all go to my office." Cragen invited. "Guys," Cragen continued turning to Amaro and Rollins, "Man the field for a bit, okay?"

"Okay, Cap." Nick answered for both of them, giving him a mock salute.

Once Cragen closed the door, the three men looked at Elliot expectantly. Olivia stood by his side while Elliot gathered himself. As the moment of silence stretched before them, Fin spoke up irritably, "So you asked us here, so talk, say what you want to say and as you told me and Cap, then get out.

"Fin!" Cragen spoke his name firmly. The unspoken warning was there. Not here. Not in front of Liv.

Elliot smiled ruefully then and declared, "It's okay Don, I deserve that."

"Yeah you do, Stabler." Fin agreed with him, vehemence dripping in his voice.

Elliot's smile faded and but he remained cool. "I know you think I'm a coward, Fin. You already told me."

"Damn right, I do, Stabler." Fin sneered, not backing down. He wasn't about to trust Elliot again.

"Fin!" Olivia said, clearly upset.

"I'm sorry, Liv. But he is! I mean, he left the squad who has had his back for years without a single word. He seduces you, gets you pregnant all in one night and then he leaves you too and not to mention when he did that he cheated on his wife of over 20 years!" Fin's anger wasn't fading as he enumerated all the things that Elliot had done.

"Yes he cheated, but it takes two tango. I'm not blameless either, Fin." Olivia replied, flushing.

"No, but he took advantage of you…"

"Stop it, Fin." Munch finally spoke up, his voice firm but calm. "Take it easy, man."

Fin took a deep breath and for a moment it looked like he had something more to say, but he saw Olivia's face and stood down.

"Elliot," Munch continued, "you said you wanted to talk to us because you had something to say. You have us, so talk."

Elliot looked at Munch gratefully, cleared his throat and then spoke again. "I know you must all think I'm shit right now, but I really want to apologize. These past two months have been hell. I still can't believe I shot Jenna. Yes, I was weak and though you may think I took advantage of Olivia and rightly so, I didn't. I've always loved her. I'm sure you guys know that. I mean how many times have you joked about to us, right? I didn't take advantage of her but I did use the situation as an excuse to finally show my true feelings to her. It wasn't the best way or the most honest way, but in the end, that's what was accomplished."

Elliot paused, swallowing hard and Olivia took that opportunity to be speak up and be heard. "Fin, John – Captain, he's right. And I love him back."

Olivia moved next to Elliot and took his hand, smiling at him. Elliot smiled back. "Thanks, Liv."

Munch cleared his throat and their reverie was broken. "Anyway," Elliot said, "I wanted also to tell all of you that I'm getting help. Fin, you and Don saw how I was – I was out of control, drinking way too much and even neglecting my kids. So after this, I'm meeting with Huang who has referred me to a facility. It's kind of a rehab – actually really it's a mental facility where people go when they've had nervous breakdowns or experienced harrowing traumas like I did and we all did. We're doing the preliminaries today and tomorrow I'll be going there – it's a 3 month program."

When Elliot said that, Fin's expression changed. It went from angry to disbelieving. In a doubtful tone, Fin asked, "Really? You're really doing that, Stabler?"

Elliot nodded. "I am, Fin. I've realized that I need help, professional help. I have another kid on the way and – " he turned his gaze at Olivia, " –and he deserves a healthy father to be there for him or her. The same goes for my all of my children. And I can't do it on my own." He turned to the three other men there, looking at them earnestly. "Something snapped in me when I had to shoot Jenna and I have to work through it so that I can move on."

Captain Cragen who had been quiet all throughout so far, finally spoke. "Elliot, son, I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're getting help."

Munch walked over to Elliot and extended his hand. Elliot accepted the handshake as the older man told him, "Good for you, Elliot."

"I'm sorry, John, for everything."

"I know, Elliot. Look, for me it really was a blow to me that you just left. I understand that you were in so much pain, but Elliot, remember we're here for you. Okay? Whether you're in SVU or not, you're part of our family. So if you need help, ask for it."

Elliot smiled at Munch . "Thank you."

Elliot's gaze then landed on Fin who just stood there. Fin did not approach him, his hands firmly ensconced in his jacket pocket. But nevertheless he spoke up. "Stabler."

"Yes, Fin." Elliot answered.

"Three things. One I'm sorry if I punched you."

"What? When did that happen?" Olivia was aghast.

Elliot chuckled. "It's okay, Liv. If you only heard what I said, you would punch me too."

Olivia gave Fin a look who just shrugged.

"Really, Liv. It's okay." Elliot assured her. Receiving a smile from Olivia he then turned back to Fin. " You said three things, Fin. What are the other two?"

Number 2 is a two parter one – go visit your kids and call them. Tell them where you are."

"I already did, Fin. After you guys left me and after I called Huang I called them. In fact, this afternoon after their school is done, I will be visiting them."

"Good." Fin said approvingly. "So number 2 part b is don't ever ever leave or hurt Liv again. Because I swear, Stabler if you do, I will come after you."

"I won't, Fin." Elliot assured him.

"You better not." Fin said again, a clear warning in his words. There was a pause and then he continued. "And three," Fin took a deep breath before finishing his thought, "I hope all goes well for you in rehab. We're still here for you know? Just don't pull a disappearing act again."

Elliot broke into a broad grin. Then not able to resist it, he crossed over to where Fin was and gave him a hug. Fin hesitated a bit but then returned it. "Take care of yourself Stabler! You're about to have kid number 6 and you're gonna need all the energy you can get."

Elliot chuckled. "I know, thanks Fin."

Finally it was just the Captain. Elliot walked over to Cragen and he sobered when he addressed his former commanding officer, "Don, thank you for coming to find me. "

"Anytime, Elliot. You know I've never had children of my own, so I think of you and Olivia as my son and daughter. Take care of yourself okay? Come back a better Elliot Stabler."

"Thanks, Cap. I will."

Cragen patted him on his back and smiled.

There was a knock on the door then. Cragen called out, "Come in."

Amanda poked her head in and said, "I'm sorry guys, but Munch you have a call about the Lopez case?"

"Great, I'll take it Amanda. Please tell them to hold a few moments."

Amanda nodded and closed the door again. Munch stood up, saying, "Elliot good luck, okay? I gotta go. Fin come with me?"

Fin nodded and started to follow suit. Before he left he said to Elliot, "Stabler."

"Yeah, Fin?"

"Don't do a disappearing act again, alright?"

"I won't. I promise." Elliot declared.

With one last nod, Fin exited leaving just Olivia and Don Cragen with Elliot.

"So, Cap, I just have one thing to ask you."

"Sure, son what is it?" Cragen asked.

"Can you please put Liv in desk duty now?" Elliot requested.

Cragen broke into a smile and replied, "Did Liv tell you she was getting promoted?"

"Yes, she did actually." Elliot revealed. "I'm so proud of her." He squeezed her hand affirming his words.

Captain Cragen turned to Olivia at that point, with a wide smile. "Well, Liv, looks like Elliot is going to get his wish for you. Brass just informed me that your promotion is effective in two weeks and for the next two weeks, I'll be pulling you from the field – except for court appearances – to train with me. So I hope that's okay with you, Liv."

Olivia could not contain the happiness in her voice as she replied, "Of course!"

"Good. We can start tomorrow." Cragen informed her.

"Tomorrow?" Olivia's face fell and she could see Elliot's face falling too. "Uh Cap, if that's a non-negotiable then okay, but I was sort of hoping to take a day tomorrow. I was going to accompany Elliot to Connecticut tomorrow. If that's okay with you."

Cragen looked at the two of them. He knew from day 1 that there was a spark between them. He just didn't know that it would take 12 years to have something come out of it. Truth be told, even though Eliot was married and he liked Kathy enough for him, he never saw the same spark, the same passion between her and Elliot that he saw with him and Olivia. Maybe it was wrong, but it was how he felt. He felt that the two people who were meant to be finally were.

Olivia looked expectantly at him and unable to prolong the suspense anymore, Cragen answered, "I'm glad you're finally asking for vacation days, Liv. No problem. We can start on Wednesday. Go take Elliot."

"Thanks, Cap. It's just that the program doesn't allow for visitors for the first 45 days and well, you know…" Her voice trailed off and she blushed.

Cragen saw the red stains on her cheeks and laughed. He was glad that Olivia finally had the person she loved. "No problem, Liv. Just be careful."

"I will."

"Well, Elliot, thank you for coming in and saying what you did. I – we all appreciated it." Cragen told his former detective honestly.

"Cap, it's what you guys deserve. I really am sorry especially for how I spoke to you when you came to my house." Elliot looked regretful.

"No problem, son. I understand. So go get help that you need and be well, okay? That's an order." Cragen told him firmly but gently.

Elliot laughed again and answered him, "I will. Thank you."

"Well, we better be starting our day. Liv, I'm sure you're gonna want to see him out so why don't you do that and then come back here and I can start giving you our training schedule, okay?"

"Thanks, Cap. Will do."

Cragen gave Elliot a fatherly hug before he left. "Good luck, son. Remember if you need help, we're here."

"Thanks, Don."

With those last words, Elliot and Olivia left his office. On the way out, Elliot said goodbye to Amanda and Nick. Fin and Munch were already out on field so he didn't get a chance to say goodbye. When he mentioned this Olivia, she reassured him, "Don't worry. You'll see them again, El."

"I know." Elliot returned, smiling. "I love you, Benson."

"I love you Stabler."

Smiling, Elliot leaned down and gave her a brief kiss. Nick and Amanda saw them and they exchanged glances, silly grins on their faces.

Olivia and Elliot walked out of the SVU office and Olivia saw him to his car. "I'll see you tonight?" She asked.

Elliot nodded. "But Liv, just heads up, I'm going to Huang then Seaside Heights to get my stuff and then to Queens and I'm sure the kids will want to hang out. So is it okay if I'll be over late? I'm sorry about this but you know I have to spend time with them."

"Of course, El! They're your kids, go spend time with them. If you didn't want to do that, I'd be mad at you. Just come. I don't care if it's midnight." Olivia said understandingly.

"Well not that late, but maybe ten or so? I'll leave when the kids are in bed or right before Kathy comes home whichever comes first."

"Okay. Just text me when you're on your way. And besides you have a key right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then see you later, El."

"See you, baby, I love you."

"Love you too."

They kissed one last time and then Elliot got into the car and left.

_**A/N: Up next, Elliot visits his kids and the last night with Olivia before Connecticut. **_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_**A/N: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's**_

_**Another chapter full of smut and fluff…enjoy! **_

The rest of the night….

It was almost 11 pm when Elliot got to Olivia's. He was tired but happy. His appointment with George Huang had gone smoothly. Elliot had asked him if it was okay to stay with Olivia that night and if it was okay to have her drive him to Connecticut tomorrow. George who saw this as a giant progress okayed it. Unfortunately, George also told him that though they were allowed to bring their cellphones in the facility, it was quarantined for the first 45 days. And then after that they were only allowed to have it for one hour after dinner. This was the policy since until they were declared graduated from the program, the facility wanted to limit their contact with the outside world so that they didn't have to face triggers prior to them being confident that they had learned how to avoid triggers as well as how to handle the triggers should they cross their paths. Elliot was disappointed but he understood.

When they concluded their discussion, they did the paperwork and George had told him that they were expecting him anytime before 3 pm tomorrow. He already had a reservation. As for payment, they had a payment plan and a giant part was being covered still by his NYPD insurance since his entering the program was a result of an on-duty trauma.

He headed back to Seaside Heights after his appointment and packed his things before he headed out to Queens. He got there just before the kids got home. He had called Kathy ahead of time and she had already told Dickie and Lizzie that their dad was coming for a visit. Elliot had picked up Eli from the daycare before going to Queens and so all three younger children were there.

Elliot apologized to his kids and tried to explain as best he could why he had been gone all this time and why he was going to be leaving again for three months. They were angry at first but as he told them what had happened two months before, they began to understand and relented in the end.

He also apologized to them for the impending divorce. Their response to that had both shocked him and touched him. They had told him that they understood and that they had been waiting for it a long time. They said that they knew it wasn't them, that it was just that their mom and dad weren't happy together anymore. And they just wanted them to be happy.

He almost cried when he heard his twins tell him this. He gave them a hug and thanked them for being understanding. "I love you, Dickie. I love you Lizzie and I love you Eli. I hope you all know that."

"Love you too, Dad." Lizzie had cried and threw her arms around her father.

Dickie was less emotional but then he hugged his father too. "Love you, dad."

After that, the four of them had fun the entire time. They cooked and ate together. The three of them worked hand in hand to put Eli to sleep and then, the three of them discussed their plans for college. Lizzie, ever the adventurous type told him she wanted to go to California or Washington State for college while Dickie wanted to stick to the East coast.

Listening to his kids talk to him about college made him remember he was about to do this all over again. And all he could think of was how he excited he was to repeat it all again because this time he was with the love of his life.

He didn't tell them about Olivia or the baby yet. It wasn't because he was trying to be sneaky. But he knew he just unloaded a lot on them and he did not want to go overboard. He would save that for another day. Besides, he knew he probably should tell Kathy first. He knew too that he should do it before Olivia started to show and before someone else told her.

All in all, it was a great day and it was with a lot of regret that he said goodbye to them at almost 10 pm. He knew Kathy's shift ended at 930 and she would be home soon. He did not want to see her. Saying goodbye to his kids was hard, but they now knew where he would be and he told them as soon as he was allowed he was going to call them. And as soon as he was allowed visitors he would call to ask them to visit.

It was a little after ten when he left to go back into Manhattan. Of course, the BQE and the midtown tunnel were still hell and so was Manhattan traffic so it was almost 11 when he got to Olivia's.

He grabbed one duffle bag and left the rest of his stuff in his SUV. He got the key that Olivia had given him a long time ago and used it to enter the building. When he got to the apartment, he found Olivia asleep. He had suspected that she would be as pregnancy made a woman sleepy all the time.

Quietly, he put down his duffle bag and slipped off his shoes, socks and pants. He took of his jacket and then slowly easing himself into bed with her, he encircled her with his arms and pulled her close to him.

Olivia stirred feeling his presence and opened her eyes. "El?" Her voice was husky with sleep.

"Hi, Liv. I'm here. Sorry I'm so late, traffic was hell everywhere." He told her.

"What time is it?" Olivia asked, turning to face him

"It's about 11, baby." Elliot replied.

"Okay. I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too." Elliot smiled and lowered his lips to hers.

When his mouth touched hers Olivia moaned. Kissing Elliot Stabler was heaven and it was an experience she wanted to keep repeating over and over.

Their mouths hungrily opened for each other, their tongues playing and darting into each other's mouth. Olivia got on top of Elliot, pressing her entire body against his. She felt his growing hardness against her and she felt her panties get soaked.

Olivia sat up and she removed her teddy exposing herself to Elliot. Her full breasts with its nipples standing at attention stared Elliot in the face. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts. Elliot responded to her invitation by squeezing them and then pulling on her nipples with his fingers. He sat up and took her left nipple onto his mouth and sucked. He sucked it hard, giving her a slight pain that bordered on pleasure and Olivia gasped. Unknowingly she began grinding her still covered pussy against his hardness and she urged Elliot's mouth into her breast even more.

Then gently she pushed Elliot back, making him lie down. She leaned down, starting to kiss him hotly and urgently once more. Elliot responded in kind putting his hands at the back of her neck. They kissed just like that for a few minutes until Olivia wanted more. Until Elliot wanted more.

He took of his boxer briefs hurriedly. Olivia made her way down, kissing and licking him on his chest, his stomach, down his happy trail, until she reached his engorged cock. He was so hard that it stood rigidly, purple red almost to his stomach. Olivia put her hands around his cock – she needed to use both hands because he was so thick that it was uncomfortable using just one hand to hold him. Elliot moaned when he felt her hands on his cock. Then, mischievously, she bent down and lowered her mouth. At first, she just breathed on his turgid member. She blew air softly letting him feel her breath. Elliot growled and said achingly, "Please Liv, suck me. Suck my cock. I want to be inside your mouth."

Olivia gave in. She opened her mouth and took him as far as he would go. Once she had taken in all she could she sucked him and then started going up and down with her mouth and her hand on his cock.

Elliot growled. "Fuck, Liv, baby, that feels so good. You suck that so well."

His words made her stop, smile and then she licked his shaft from bottom to up slowly before licking the tip that was wet with her saliva and his pre-cum. Then she shifted her attention to his scrotum. She bit it lightly then gently pulled. Elliot roared. "OH GOD!"

Elliot sat up abruptly and pulled her up. He instructed her to get on her fours and went behind her. He grabbed her hips and aligning his cock with her dripping wet pussy, he pushed all the way in. "Fuck, El!" Olivia moaned. She pushed back grinding her ass on his pelvis and making him go deep as possible.

Elliot started to thrust in and out of her, his balls slapping against her ass. Her full breasts bounced as Elliot pummeled her from behind. He then took one hand and circle around to her front. When he found what he was looking for, her distended clit, he began to rub it furiously, all the while continuing to thrust and pump her from behind.

"Oh God, Elliot. That's it, sooo good….just like that….I'm near, oh God please." Olivia's moans and excited utterances drove Elliot even wilder.

But, he pulled out abruptly from her. "Not yet, Liv. Your turn to be patient. Lie down." He told her, his voice almost violent with lust and love. Olivia obeyed at once and as he approached her, she spread her legs wide, touching herself. For a few minutes, Elliot watched her as she played with her pussy. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and he grabbed her hand that had been inside her and put the two fingers wet with her juices in his mouth. He licked her fingers the sucked them until her juices were all but gone from them. Olivia moaned. "Elliot, please, I want you inside me now. I want to feel that cock of yours inside me. Make me cum, El." Her voice was a whimper, a plea. "I'm so wet, I want you so badly baby. Show me how much you love me."

Suddenly, something shifted in Elliot and the lust in his eyes seemed to fade to be replaced with something much greater – his love for her. Instead of saying something sexual, he replied, "Baby, I love you. I love you so much." When he was done saying those words, he aligned his cock with her pussy and slowly entered her. He entered her gently, tenderly , oh so slowly – letting her feel every inch that went in.

Olivia looked into his eyes, gasping at the love that she saw reflecting in his blue eyes which caused her slow down too. She kept his gaze on him until she finally had his entire length inside her. "Oh God, El, that feels so good. You feel so good. I love you."

Elliot began to slowly thrust in and out of her. Olivia voluntarily put her legs up his shoulders making him even go deeper. Elliot could feel everything inside her. She was so wet and so tight. He began to thrust and stroke faster and faster. A fine sheen of sweat coated both of them. Elliot grabbed Olivia's ankles as he pulled out and then pushed back in again.

"Liv, love you so much, baby. Oh God, I'm gonna cum."

Olivia knew that he was telling the truth because she could feel his cock twitch inside her. When she felt that, it brought her own waves signaling she was near too.

"Elliot, I'm gonna cum too baby."

"Yeah, baby." Elliot's thrusting was now frenzied, he pounded Olivia's pussy over and over until the throbbing in his cock was released. "OH God, Liv! I love you! I'm coming." His cock spurted out his sperm inside her making her even more wet.

The moment Olivia felt him come, it triggered her orgasm too. It hit her in a big wave and she clamped down on Elliot. She removed her legs from his shoulder and wrapped them around his waist. She thrust her pelvis up, arching her back as she tried to ground her pussy into his pelvis to make her orgasm last longer. "Oh, El. El! El! Fuck! I love you so much, El! So good!" She shuddered as her orgasm came to a conclusion and panting she collapsed back in bed.

Elliot also collapsed on top of Olivia. He was about to roll off of her but then Olivia told him, "No, I want us to lie down just like this for a while. I want your cock inside me, just like that, because after we rest for a few minutes, I'm going to make you hard again, El. And I want you to fuck me again."

Her words made him laugh and Olivia laughed along with him. Her laugh was low but happy. Elliot started to kiss her again. He kissed her with all the pent up passion of the past 12 years. Being with Olivia Benson was a high no drug ever could accomplish. It was a high that you definitely wanted to seek over and over.

Olivia kissed him back just as passionately. Elliot's lips were soft yet firm, so perfect for kissing. When she felt Elliot hardening inside her again and herself getting wet, Olivia moved and made them roll over putting herself on top.

Once there, she leaned down and continued to kiss Elliot, while one hand travelled down to his nipple, pinching the right one first. Elliot gave a little yelp when he felt the pinch. But it was not a yelp of pain but one of pleasure. "Oh God, Liv. I'm fucking hard again."

"And I'm wet again, El." She replied, breaking off the kiss. "I'm gonna make us cum hard baby. "

She grabbed his hands and placed them on her ass cheeks as she place her hands above his shoulders. Then she started to go up and down his hard, turgid cock inside her. She moved slowly and with purpose. She kept her eyes on him and as she moved up and down, her mouth was slightly open, making little sounds of pleasure. Just hearing the sounds coming from her almost made Elliot lose control. The unhurried up and down motion of Olivia sliding her tight, wet, warm pussy on his cock made Elliot whimper with pleasure. Her tightness and wetness made his cock throb with pleasure. Then she added a motion that drove him closer to edge. After every up and down, she would grind down on him before repeating the up and down motion. "Hmmm, baby, your cock feels so good inside me." Olivia purred. She took reached for one of his hands and guided it to her pussy. Elliot knew what she wanted and conceded. He found her clit and rubbed it just as slowly as her motions on his cock. Olivia keened on top of him, giving a small cry of pleasure. And to add more to the heady experience, she sat up slightly, taking one hand out of from above his shoulder and shoved a finger inside his mouth. Elliot sucked on her finger and it sent waves of pleasure all the way to her pussy. If it was possible, Olivia became even wetter.

Her orgasm hit her without warning and she suddenly clamped down on Elliot. "Oh God, Elliot, I'm coming." She took her finger out of his mouth and suddenly she was riding him furiously. She sat up, sliding her pussy up and down his cock while Elliot rubbed her clit furious. "El, El, El! Oh my God, baby. So good…" As her orgasm started to fade she grinded her cock against Elliot trying to prolong it. The motion of grinding her pussy made Elliot's control break.

"Liv, fuck, I'm coming baby! Oh, Liv, Liv…I'm so in love with you…so good…you're pussy's so good!" Olivia kept riding him, clenching her vaginal muscles, making him feel her even more, milking his cock until she knew she was filled up with his cum inside.

When she felt Elliot's orgasm had come to a conclusion, she slowed down her up and down motion until she finally stopped and collapsed exhausted but sated and happy on top of him.

"Wow!" Elliot exclaimed, a little breathy from the exertion. "Olivia Benson you are something else."

Olivia's laugh was a little breathy too. She was still coming down from the orgasm and her rather aggressive moves. "So are you, Elliot Stabler."

"I love you so much, Liv."

"I love you too, Stabler." She grinned.

She rolled off him then and she felt his cock slip out of her pussy. The action caused both of them to groan in unison. When they heard their exact same reactions said at exactly the same time, they broke into laughter.

"We're like two horny teenagers." Olivia chuckled.

"I know. But, shit Liv – 12 years of denied urges…we gotta make up for lost time." Elliot replied, also grinning.

"That's true." Olivia conceded.

A moment's pause, then Olivia spoke up again. "I hate that I have to drive you to Connecticut tomorrow. Even though I know it's for the best."

"Yeah me too, but I gotta do it, Liv." Elliot stated, looking sad but firm in what he had to do.

"I know. I know you gotta do it. I know it's the right thing to do. But that doesn't mean I have to like being away from you. Like you said, 12 years!"

Elliot chuckled and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Well let's put it this way. We've waited 12 years already, so what's 3 more months right?"

Olivia pouted but then gave an overly dramatic sigh to signal that she was joking. "I suppose so. You better be good and refreshed when you come back because I expect you to have sex with me – a lot – when you get out and come home – no matter how big I am."

Elliot gave a shout of laughter. "Ay, ay Captain Benson. I'll make sure Im good and rested. God, woman you are horny."

Olivia shrugged then grinned. "Hormones."

"Speaking of coming home, Liv – feel free to say no okay – but I was wondering technically because of the divorce I don't have a home in Queens anymore so…"

Olivia didn't let him finish. With a happy grin, she interjected, "Do you want to move in with me?"

Elliot broke into a grin instantly but then sobered. "Liv, I'd love to. But you have to be sure. I'll understand if you think it's too fast a move."

This time it was Olivia who gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead. She replied, "El, what did we say earlier? 12 years? If that's moving fast for you, then I don't know what slow is."

Elliot gave another shout of laughter at her words. "Alright, Liv. And once our baby is born we should try to find a bigger place….after I find a job."

Olivia chuckled. "Well you can always be the house husband? You can cook and wear nothing but an apron."

"Fat chance, Liv. I'd go nuts."

"I figured." She grinned. "Anyway, how was your day with the kids?"

"Good." Elliot told her. "They were angry at first but I explained everything to them and they understood. They promised to visit me when it's allowed."

"I'm glad for you, El."

"Thanks, Liv. It feels good to have them back. I tried to reach Maureen and Kathleen too but I couldn't reach them. I feel sad that I couldn't talk to them, but hey one day at a time, right? Those two are also older so I figure they'd understand more."

Olivia nodded. "I'm sure the twins will be able to talk to them for you and about you for the meantime. Maybe tomorrow on the way to Connecticut you can try to call them again."

"Yeah." Elliot agreed. There was another pause then Elliot continued. "Liv, please don't take this the wrong way, okay?"

Suddenly Olivia looked worried and it showed through in her tone of voice. "What, El? Did you change your mind about me taking you to Connecticut? Or did George reject the idea?"

Elliot took a deep breath. "No, no, Liv. He actually think that my being with you and not running away is progress and he's glad you're bringing me tomorrow."

Olivia breathed a sigh of really. "Phew, good. So what is it?" There was still a tinge of worry left in her eyes.

'Liv, I didn't tell the twins yet about you or the fact that you're pregnant. I actually wanted to but I thought otherwise. I just dumped so much on them today. And your being pregnant with their brother or sister is good news. I just didn't want to tell them on a day that was so emotional and a lot of it not in a good way. You know? I hope you understand."

Olivia was silent for a moment. She gazed at Elliot and she saw nothing but sincerity and love. She sighed, taking his hand and giving him a smile of understanding. "It's okay, El. I understand. I don't want you to give your kids too much to deal with either."

It was Elliot's turn to breath a sigh of relief. He reached up and cradled her face in his hands. 'Thank you, Liv. I love you and I love the baby we are about to have."

"I know El. I love you too and thank you, too."

"For what?"

"For giving me what I've wished for, for so long – for making me a mother."

Elliot kissed her softly on the lips. "And thank you for giving me what I've wanted all these years, Liv."

"What's that?"

"You."

Olivia had tears in her eyes which she quickly brushed away. "Fuck, I can't believe I'm crying again."

Elliot chuckled. "Liv, it's a sign of pregnancy. Hormones cause pregnant women to be highly emotional."

"Shit."

Elliot chuckled again and Olivia joined him this time. Then Elliot wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him. "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if we sleep now? I'm sorry but you my darling are a tigress in bed and I ain't as young as I used to be. And as much as I want to spend the night making love to you, we have to be in Hartford before 3 pm tomorrow."

Olivia laughed out loud. "No problem, El. Let's go to sleep. It's okay, there's always tomorrow morning and on the way to Connecticut. " Her eyes glinted with mischief.

"On the way to Connecticut?" Elliot shook his head, laughing.

"Yup, on the way to Connecticut." She confirmed, chuckling. "Good night, El."

"Good night. Love you."

"Love you too."

They snuggled into each other then and in a few minutes both were asleep.

_**A great way to start a morning, meaningful conversation during the trip to CT and a naughty pit stop all coming up! Reviews appreciated please! **_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_**A/N: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's**_

The road to Connecticut….

The next morning, Elliot awoke before Olivia. Though he was dying to spend every minute with her till she dropped him off later in the Hartford Center, he decided to let her sleep first. Having been through 4 pregnancies with Kathy, he knew that pregnant women needed their sleep.

He decided to jump in the shower while she was still sleeping. He was deeply enjoying the warm spray of water when suddenly he heard the shower door open. Olivia, completely naked still from the previous night, walked in and joined him. Without a word, she kissed him full on in the mouth, her tongue invading his mouth and drawing out his tongue. A few moments of urgent kissing went by and Olivia could feel Elliot hardening against her thigh. She pulled away and grinned at him. "Good morning, El." Her arms were still around his neck.

"That was a great good morning kiss, Liv. I could definitely get used to those." Elliot was also grinning.

"Well, I don't intend to stop with a kiss El." Olivia advised him, a naughty look on her face.

Elliot's expression matched hers as he replied, "Neither do I."

With those words, Elliot put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her to the wall. His mouth invaded hers again while his hand travelled down to her pussy where he pushed two fingers inside her at once.

Olivia gasped when he breached her entrance and moaned as he started to slide his fingers in and out of her wet pussy. "Oh God Liv, you're so wet again." Elliot's words came out as a low growl.

She could feel his hard on pressed against her. She loved feeling that big cock against her. "You make me wet El. Hmmm….that feels so good, El, don't stop, please."

"God, Liv I love how wet you get." He told her, his fingers never stopping the in and out motion between her legs.

"I love how hard you get El. I love how big your cock is. I can't wait for it to be inside me again. Oh God, El, your fingers feel so good inside me."

"This will feel even better, Liv." Elliot replied as he went down to an almost sitting position. He took out his two fingers from inside her, spread her wet lips and then lowered his mouth and licked her wet slit in quick, short strokes.

Olivia bucked at the extreme pleasure she experienced and moaned loudly. "Elliot fuck, that's good. Eat me , baby. Love you so much." She pushed his head even more against her pussy and his tongue went further down her tunnel.

"You taste so good baby. I love the way your pussy tastes." Elliot murmured in between licks. He pushed his tongue deep into her pussy and he could feel her wet tissues inside. He could feel Olivia trembling slightly against him.

All of sudden, she arched her pelvis up. She exclaimed, "El! I'm gonna cum! Please don't stop. Eat me. Eat my pussy you do it so well."

Elliot who never had this kind of sexual intoxication with Kathy obeyed quickly. He licked and sucked on her clit and then shoved two fingers into her passageway. The combination of both motions drove Olivia over the edge. "El!" She groaned loudly, "I'm coming baby, ah,ah! Oh my God, Elliot! So good, so fucking good! Ah! El!" She pushed and ground her pussy against his face riding out her orgasm until finally it came to a finish. Then smiling she pulled Elliot's head away from her pussy and had him stand up.

Elliot's mouth was wet with her juices and he licked his lips cleaning Olivia's cum of off them. Olivia grinned with mischief. "You naughty man." Olivia's eyes were bright and her face was still flushed from her orgasm. Her chest was heaving up and down from rapid breathing which was slowly normalizing.

"Liv, you make me naughty." Elliot confessed, unabashedly.

"I do huh?"

"Yes, you do." Elliot confirmed.

"Well we're not done yet, we have to take care of you." Olivia said.

"Oh yeah we are, we're going to do that right now." Elliot told her. Then with one swift motion, he lifted her right leg and then holding his cock, he aligned it to her still wet entrance and with one long and firm push, he entered Olivia.

Olivia gasped as she felt his entire length inside her, her wet walls holding on to his thick, long and hard cock like a gentle vise.

At first Elliot didn't move. Olivia was so tight that a few moments after entering he liked to just savor being inside her tight, warm and wet cave. This time he didn't last long not moving, he knew he was already near from being so turned on earlier, eating her out so he started thrusting into Olivia slow and hard. Not so hard that she would get hurt against the wall of the shower, but slow enough and hard enough to arouse her again. Hard enough to make her clench down on him again.

Olivia whimpered as she felt herself getting wet again. The ache inside her pussy steadily built up again while Elliot grunted as he continued to pump in and out of Olivia.

"LIv, is it me or are you wetter again?" Elliot whispered, putting his other hand between them and seeking her clit. When he found it, he started rubbing it and Olivia moaned.

"Oh God Elliot, yes I'm so wet again."

"God, Liv! You feel so good. You're so tight. Your pussy feels so good! My cock loves your pussy so much."

"And my pussy loves your cock. Oh El, baby you're gonna make me cum again." Olivia whispered in a voice husky with desire.

"I'm going to come long and hard Liv. I'm sure you'd like that, right baby? You like to feel me coming in your pussy right?"

"Oh yes, baby. Cum for me, El. Cum inside me."

"I'm so close." Elliot admitted, moaning against her.

Hearing this, Olivia whimpered and her cry was so obviously laced with desire drove Elliot to lose any semblance of control and he roared as his orgasm overtook him. "Liv! Liv! Fuck! I'm coming baby!" He continued to slide in and out of Olivia, holding her leg up. "So in love with you. Love you Olivia…Liv…" She could hear his balls slapping against her and the sensation of them slapping against her, making her reach her heaven too.

"Oh, El. Baby, oh my God! Fuck sooo good! AH! EL! " Olivia told him, her voice almost a pained whine as a wave of extreme pleasure crashed over her. "Elliot El!" She shouted his name and then as her orgasm subsided, Elliot put her leg down and kissed her. The motion of letting go of her leg made his cock slip out from her. To make up for his cock not being in her anymore, she kissed his as deeply as she could.

"Wow!" Elliot remarked, when they finally broke apart. "This is definitely a good way to start the morning, Liv. Can we do this all the time when I come back?" His eyes were glinting.

"Only if you promise to be good." Olivia chuckled, looking at him with doe eyes.

"Of course." Elliot promised, "Cross my heart!" He drew a cross on top of his heart.

"Well then if that's the case, then you will definitely be rewarded most generously." Olivia advised, wiggling her eyebrows in jest but he knew she was serious.

"I like that."

Olivia just laughed. She then extracted herself from his arms, bringing them reluctantly back to reality. "Well I guess we better start getting ready. It's almost 8:30 am and the drive to Hartford is about 2 and a half hours. So we need to allow for some allowance in getting lost and traffic. So we should probably be out of here by 11."

"Shit, Liv, how am I going to last 3 months without you? I want to be there for all of your pregnancy - well the rest of it anyway and I can't do that."

"El, look I know you don't want to leave me right now, but you have to. For the sake of our future and for our kid and your kids with Kathy, you need to do this. You need to be a bit selfish right now. Don't worry we understand. Okay?"

"Okay." He paused then gave her a brief slow kiss. "I love you, you know that, Benson?"

"I do, Stabler. I love you, too." His arms were still around her waist and hers was around his neck. They looked at each other still amazed that they got here, finally.

Finally, Olivia extracted herself and they went to finish their shower.

An hour later, they were dressed. Olivia made sure Elliot was packed before they went to grab breakfast since both of them were hungry. Since it was only about 9:45 and their goal was to leave by 11 am, they decided to just eat at a nearby diner.

When they finished their breakfast, they made their way back to Olivia's apartment. Olivia just took her pre-natals, grabbed her bag while Elliot grabbed his duffle bag. Before Olivia closed the door to her apartment, Elliot turned to look at it and said, "See you in 3 months!"

Olivia laughed. "Yes, three months, El. You'll be back soon enough."

"I know." Elliot gave Olivia a kiss and then spoke up again. "Alright, let's go."

They left her building, hurried to Elliot's Ford Explorer and went on their way. Elliot was driving on their way there then Olivia was going to drive on the way back – on her own. Elliot had suggested for a split second that maybe she could bring Casey or Alex with them so she didn't have to be alone, but Olivia nixed the idea before he could even complete his thought. He was going be gone for three months and she wanted some time alone with her man. She was not going have Alex or Casey witness anything.

She had talked to Casey and Alex yesterday after Elliot left and they both expressed relief that he had come back and done the right thing. And not only did he do that, he seemed to really have wanted Olivia – baby or no baby. However, like Fin they both swore up and down that if he ever left like he did again before, they were going to hunt him down and make him pay.

Elliot laughed when Olivia told him about what Casey and Alex said. "As much as that is a scary thought," Elliot said, "they won't need to do it, because I don't intend to ever leave you again."

"Good." Olivia said. "If you do, I might just have to reconsider Porter."

"Porter?" Elliot looked aghast. "Why?"

"Well he's the only guy whoever came a bit close to you. Still a far cry but he was the closest."

Elliot's eyes narrowed and for about a mile he was silent. Olivia watched him from the corner of her eye and when she finally couldn't take it, she burst out laughing. "Gotcha!"

Elliot groaned. "Liv, don't do that!"

"Well Porter is cute…but.."

"But what?"

"He's nowhere near you Stabler. There are you happy now, did I stroke your ego well enough?"

Elliot smirked and grinned cockily. "Thank you, Liv."

Olivia laughed and answered, "You're welcome, I guess."

"And by the way, Liv, about what you said whether you've stroked my ego well enough?" Elliot turned to her briefly, raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"My ego yes, but I'd rather you stroke something else right now." Elliot glanced her, mischief written all over his face.

Olivia bit her lip. All at once, she felt her panties get soaking wet and she moaned. She reached over to Elliot and pulled down his zipper. When his fly was open, she saw that he had gone commando. She looked at him then and Elliot grinned, "I wanted you to have easy access."

Olivia didn't seem to hear him and instead of answering she just pulled his semi hard cock and slid it out of his jeans. She started to have her fingers and palm going up and down his quickly hardening shaft.

Elliot didn't realize he had slowed down without warning in a major highway that is the I-95 until a car behind him honked his horn loudly at him. The sound jolted him out of his pleasured reverie enough to say, "I'm taking the next exit and I'm gonna find us a spot where we can take care of this, okay Liv?"

Still not answering, Olivia briefly leaned towards Elliot and gave the head of his cock a hard suck. Elliot jerked his hips upward involuntarily at the sensation created by her soft lips and warm mouth. "Fuck, Liv. Okay finally, an exit, were getting off here. I hope we can find a nice safe spot. I so want you right now baby."

Elliot hurriedly got off the exit and a couple miles into the road they took, they saw a dirt road. They took that road and saw that at the end of it was an isolated house. The house looked empty and they parked behind it.

The moment Elliot stopped his SUV, he climbed to the back seat and had Olivia follow him suit. He pushed his pants down while Olivia did the same. Elliot pulled her onto his lap. Olivia could see he was rock hard, his cock stood up straight, all purple red and engorged. Slowly she lowered her pussy onto his cock and impaled herself. "Fuck, Liv, so wet and tight!" Elliot declared when he was inside her.

"El you're so hard and big. Love your cock being inside me so much." Olivia purred into his ear, leaning against him and starting to move up and down.

There was no foreplay this time, Olivia rode him and rode him hard, grinding her pussy and then going up and down faster and faster. Her breasts bounced and Elliot's hands were on her ass. He slapped her ass cheek at one point, causing Olivia to yelp in ecstasy.

"You like that?" Elliot asked in a ragged whisper.

Olivia's face was contorted in the feelings of lust surging through her didn't answer. Instead she nodded feverishly, whimpering.

"Come on, Liv ride my cock. I am going to cum inside you hard."

"Oh God, yeah, El." Elliot pushed her down on him, making her grind on him even more, his hands pushed against her ass cheeks.

Then suddenly Elliot moaned, he had felt her vaginal muscles quiver and he knew then she was about to come. He put his hand on her clit and started to rub in furiously matching her strokes. Olivia screamed then, her face wet with perspiration. "Elliot!" Her movements were fast and furious as waves of desire rippled through her body.

She continued to grind and push down, trying to make her orgasm last. She put her hand in between them and squeezed his balls. That did it, Elliot's cock throbbed then it spurted his semen inside her. "Oh god, Liv! FUCK! I'm coming…Oh God!"

He bucked up pumping his pelvis upward meeting her grinding pussy. Each time his cock spurted his seed and it did many times - he bucked up and it prolonged not only his orgasm but Olivia's.

Finally both of their orgasms subsided and they leaned against each other, forehead to forehead in exhaustion, both perspiring.

When they pulled apart and looked at each other, they both broke into sheepish laughter. Elliot groaned and said, "Liv, at the risk of sounding like a scratched CD, but how the hell am I going to last three months without you? Without that?"

Olivia laughed out loud. "You? How about me! I'm the one who has raging hormones because I'm pregnant. I swear Elliot, I'm horny all the time. That and I'm sleepy and hungry all the time as well.

"I'm sorry baby. But we both know I gotta do this."

Olivia sighed. "I know. I just wish it was better timing."

"Well better now than when our baby is born right?"

Olivia nodded. "That's true."

They were silent for a minute, just in each other's arms. Elliot was still inside Olivia because they hadn't moved from their position. Just then, Elliot's cell phone rang. Olivia picked up his jeans and extracted the cell from there. She still remained on his lap though with his cock still inside her. She could never get enough of the sensation of having him inside her, hard or soft. To her it was the feeling of being one with him. And she loved it.

She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Maureen calling Elliot. "Maureen." She told him.

Elliot's eyes widened and he took the phone from her. He felt her about to climb out of his lap and just before she could do that, he stopped her with his free hand and whispered, "No stay there. I want to stay inside you."

Olivia smiled and nodded. Elliot answered the phone. "Hi Maureen."

"Hi Dad."

Elliot and his eldest daughter talked for a bit. It didn't seem to faze Elliot at all that all the while Olivia was still on his lap with his cock still inside her.

The conversation seemed to go well. Olivia could hear bits and pieces from Maureen's side. After Elliot had told her about being on his way to the facility, Maureen had told him, "I'm proud of you, dad." She said it so simply and with so much sincerity that Elliot's eyes glistened with tears which he quickly brushed away.

"Thanks, Maureen. I love you."

"I love you, too Dad." Maureen told him. "So who's taking you the center?"

"Well…" Maureen plainly heard the hesitancy in Elliot's tone and interrupted him. "Olivia's taking you, isn't she?"

Elliot looked at Olivia. "Yes Mo, she's taking me." He admitted it to his daughter. He had no reason to lie.

He waited for her anger to come. But then her answer surprised her. "Good for you, Dad."

"What?" Elliot could not keep the surprise out of his voice.

Olivia started listening a little more closely then. Elliot's free hand grabbed hers and he intertwined their fingers.

"Dad, I'm not blind you know. You're in love with her. You have been for a long time. When you and mom separated I really thought you and Olivia were finally gonna get together. But then I don't know what happened and I really don't want to know, but then you moved back in because Eli was on the way. Dad, I know and I think Kathleen also knows too – we know you moved back in and got back together with mom only because of Eli. Without him, your divorce would have gone through."

"I…I…I don't know what to say, Mo." Elliot admitted, but there was a smile in his voice.

"Say that you're not going to mess things up with Olivia."

"I promise, I won't Mo. She's here with me right now. Want to say hi?"

Olivia vigorously shook her head, but Elliot wouldn't let her get away. "Yeah, I'd like that Dad."

Elliot handed the phone over to Olivia who reluctantly took it. "Hi, Maureen."

"Hey Liv. Thanks for taking my dad to Connecticut."

"Anytime."

"Maybe I can visit you sometime while my dad is away? I can tell you all about what to expect from him. He can be a pain in the ass and I don't want him to scare you off. So I better prepare you."

Olivia laughed and replied, "Sounds like a plan Maureen."

"Great. And Olivia?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I know sometimes he can be a bear but he's a real sweetheart – so don't let him scare you off. I know you love him just like he loves you. I'm right, aren't I, Olivia?"

Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she replied to Elliot's eldest daughter. "Yes, I do, Mo. You're right."

"I'm so happy for you guys. Anyway, I gotta go, I have class in a bit. Can I talk to my dad again? You guys drive safe and I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, Maureen. Here's your dad."

Olivia handed the phone back to Elliot. "Dad, don't scare her away okay?" Maureen repeated.

Elliot chuckled. "I won't Mo."

"Hey give me a call when we can visit you already, okay. We'll all come up."

"Yeah, I will. I have lots to tell you guys but not right now."

"I understand, Dad. You get yourself better. We'll see you soon. I'll talk to Kathleen about you and about Liv. Don't worry about her."

Maureen always did know how to read Elliot's thoughts and today he was grateful for that ability of hers. "Thanks,Mo. I've been trying to call her, but she's not picking up her cell."

"Don't worry Dad, I'll handle her."

"Thanks, Mo."

"Well dad, I gotta go. I have class in ten minutes. I love you, take care of youself."

"I love you too, honey. Bye."

Elliot pressed the end call button and then he turned to Olivia. He had tears in his eyes. "My daughter isn't mad at me. And she understands. Not just about my situation but about you. She loves that you and I are together."

Olivia was a little teary eyed too. "I know baby, they love you. I love you too."

"I love you so much, Olivia Benson. I hope you never get scared off by me."

"I'm a big girl, El. I don't scare easily."

"Good."

Olivia gave him a soft kiss on the lips and the regretfully this time she really climbed off his lap. Elliot groaned when he felt his cock exit her pussy.

"What time is it?"

Olivia looked at her watch and saw that it was nearly 130. They had been on the road almost an hour and a half prior to their unscheduled rest stop. "We gotta go, Elliot. We can't be late, otherwise they won't check you in."

"I know. But this sucks. " Elliot whined. "I want to make love to you again."

"I know, baby. Me, too. But we can't. Not now. Don't worry after 3 months, we'll be doing that as much as you want, I promise."

Elliot grinned at her words and replied, "Okay. You better make sure you're ready for that when I come back."

"El, I'm a horny pregnant woman, how can I not be?"

Elliot laughed. With that they got dressed and proceeded to continue with their journey.

At quarter of three, they finally pulled into the parking lot of Hartford Center. All of a sudden the two of them were gripped by the reality that they were really going to be apart for three months. And for the first 45 days of those three months, they weren't going to be able to see each other. And out of those 45 days, they weren't going to be able to talk at all for the first 14 days. It really sucked.

Olivia, with her raging hormones, was teary eyed again. "Well," Elliot spoke up breaking the silence, "we're here. I guess it's time for me to go."

Tears began to fall onto Olivia's cheeks. She embraced him and pulled him to her. "El, I'm going to miss you. This really sucks."

"I know, Liv. But like we said, we've waited 12 years, what's another 90 days?"

"I know El, but I wasn't pregnant those 12 years, you know?"

"I know babe. But hey, its okay, we'll get through this. The three months will be over in no time. After all you just got promoted, I'm sure Don will keep you busy. Just make sure he doesn't keep you too busy. You heard what Dr. Chin said – you gotta take it easy."

Tearfully, Olivia nodded. "I will."

Elliot brushed her tears away, tilted her head up to meet her gaze. "Hey, before we get out of this car, I have something to give you, Liv."

"What is it, El?"

He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a small box. Olivia stared at it – it was a small, old box. He handed it to her and said, "Here. Open it."

Olivia obeyed and opened the box. Inside was Elliot's Semper Fidelis medal from the Marine Corp. He had it fashioned into a pendant which was now dangling from a simple gold chain. She looked at him in question as she took out the necklace.

"Liv, I love you. I want you to have this. This is the Semper Fidelis medallion. It was given to me while I was in the Marine Corp for the service I gave our country. Semper Fidelis or Semper Fi as we Marines liked to shorten it to, means always faithful. To a Marine that means that he will always be faithful to his country, do serve, to die in honor while fighting for the USA. To me giving this to you, it means I will always have faith in you Olivia Benson and that I will always be faithful to you. I will always be there for you, Liv. I hope you know that. I love you, Liv. So very much. I hope you'll wear this and remember that always. "

Tears were now falling from Olivia's eyes. She whispered, "Thank you Elliot, it's beautiful. Can you put it on me?" She handed him the necklace and lifted her hair so that he can put it on her.

Once it was fastened, Olivia turned to him and kissed him with all the love that she felt. This time there was barely any lust there – nothing sexual – only love - to their kiss. "I love you, too El. Thank you."

They kissed one more time then, regretfully, they broke apart and started making their way to the facility's entrance.

Once there, they stopped, looking at the automatic glass doors that was the entrance, hand in hand. "Are you ready, El?"

"Ready to be on the road to happiness you mean? I already am, thanks to you."

Olivia chuckled. "Yes, but you still need help. They'll teach you how to take care of yourself for a change Elliot."

"I know. Yes I am ready, Liv."

"Then let's go in."

Hand in hand, they entered the Hartford Center, their hearts full of hope that Elliot's healing process will be smooth and fast, and that they'll be together again in no time.

_**Up next, Olivia adjusts to life momentarily without Elliot. And will Elliot take his recovery process seriously so that he can heal? Also Kathy hears rumors about Olivia and Elliot and Kathleen overhears something that makes her react in a big way. **_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine. **_

_**Sorry it took so long to update this. But I needed a break from this story. But now I am back to it! Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter. And if you want something a little bit more steamy as well, do check out my new one shot series, The Sex Files, SVU style – all the smut you want. In the meantime, please review! **_

A week and a half later, Olivia had immersed herself in the training that Captain Cragen was having her take for her new position as unit supervisor. She kept herself busy that way she didn't have time to miss Elliot.

Truth be told, she was having a great time in her training. She was looking forward to moving out of training and doing the actual job. During her hours at the unit, she barely missed Elliot because there were so many things to do. But when she got home at night, it was a different story.

In the couple of days that Elliot had stayed there, he had already made his mark on her apartment. He had a toothbrush, he had also left clothes there already. Clothes that still had his scent and when she smelled them whether by design or accidentally, she would almost always get teary eyed.

By the end of the first week, Olivia had somewhat gone back to her routine prior to Elliot and worked hard to keep her sane. She knew that she shouldn't push herself so hard because of her pregnancy, but sometimes it was hard not to revert to her workaholic self.

She worked well after quitting time after her fifth training day. It was about 9 pm in the evening and as she was packing in for the evening, she felt some painful cramping in her lower abdomen. She hurriedly went to the bathroom to see if there had been spotting but thankfully there was none. But the cramping was still there. And it was painful.

Scared, Olivia hurried out of the precinct and hailed a cab. On the way there, she called Alex and asked if she could go meet her at the ER of Mercy General explaining that she was experiencing cramping. "I'll meet you there in 15 minutes, Liv. Don't worry, everything will be okay."

"Thanks, Alex."

Thankfully the traffic was cooperating for once in Manhattan and Olivia was in Mercy General in 10 minutes. She went directly to the ER and explained the situation. They asked her if she had a doctor there and she said, yes, her doctor was Dr. Chin.

The nurse did triage and then told her to sit still. She was also told that the call OB-GYN will be right with her and that they'll be paging Dr. Chin as well.

Olivia tried to be calm while waiting for Alex and the on-call doctor. While waiting, she observed with relief that the cramping was easing. But still, as she sat there in the ER she wished she could call Elliot, wishing Elliot was with her. She knew he would know how to keep her calm. But he wasn't so instead she held on the one thing of his that was with her, his Semper Fi Medal.

As she sat in the waiting room, someone suddenly called her name. "Olivia?"

Olivia turned around thinking it was Alex but instead saw Kathy coming towards her. "Shit!" she thought.

"Hi Kathy, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked, too nervous to be nice and polite.

"Oh that's nice Olivia. You sleep with my husband…"

"Ex-husband…"

"He was still my husband when you slept with him." Kathy countered, her eyes glittering with anger at the woman who won Elliot's heart away from her.

"Whatever, Kathy. Look I'm not exactly in the best state here right now. So if you don't mind please spare me your drama for the moment?" Olivia told her, still fiddling with the medal.

Suddenly Kathy's eyes widened. And Olivia knew that she had seen the Semper Fi medal. "Oh shit I don't need this right now." She thought.

"Nice pendant, Liv." Kathy told her icily.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Kathy, please, I really can't talk to you right now. You and Elliot are over. Just deal with it."

Kathy was about to say something but just then another voice called out, "Olivia! I'm here, are you okay?"

Olivia looked towards the voice and saw Alex coming towards her. Olivia stood up but then Alex exclaimed, "No, no don't stand up. Could be bad for you….is Dr. Chin here?"

"Uh, Alex can we save it for later?" Olivia replied, sitting down then glanced sideways to indicate to Alex, Kathy's presence.

For a brief moment Alex looked confused, but then she saw Kathy. She looked vaguely familiar though Alex couldn't place her until the other blonde said, "Hi, Olivia's friend, I'm Kathy STABLER." She emphasized the last name.

Understanding dawned on Alex's face and she became guarded. "Hi, I'm Alexandra Cabot."

"Oh yes, I know you. The famous ADA who came back from the dead." Kathy's voice was dripping with contempt.

Alex didn't reply and instead she just looked at Olivia who just shrugged.

"So Olivia," Kathy continued, refusing to leave. "Dr. Chin? I happen to know that she's an OB-GYN. Why do you need to see her?"

"It's none of your business, Kathy." Olivia told her.

Kathy looked furious and Olivia could swear she was about to slap her but then, a man in a white coat approached the trio. "Miss Benson?"

"Yes." She confirmed.

"Hi I'm Dr. Curtis. I'm the on-call OB-GYN. Would you mind if we go over there," the doctor said, indicating one of cots behind a curtain in the ER, "So that I can look at you a little further. Dr. Chin has already been paged. We're just waiting for her call."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. And without another word, Olivia and Alex followed him, leaving Kathy behind.

Once they had the curtain closed, Dr. Curtis said, "So Miss Benson, you're 10 weeks pregnant I see from your records. This is your first pregnancy?"

Olivia nodded and replied, "Yes."

"The triage nurse said that you came in due to painful cramping. Are you still feeling the cramps right now?"

"Yes." Olivia replied. "But they're almost gone. Not like earlier."

"Can you please lie down and unbuckle your belt and unbutton your pants. You don't need to take them off, I just need to feel your abdomen.

Olivia obeyed and the Dr. Curtis put his hands against her abdomen. As he examined her, he pressed gently and asked, "Does that hurt?"

Thankfully, Olivia answered in the negative.

After a few more minutes examination, Dr. Curtis told her, "Well everything seems fine, Ms. Benson. There's a little tightness, but nothing too alarming. However, as a first time mother in her forties, you do need to take it easy. No stress as much as possible. Okay?"

Olivia nodded. Dr. Curtis continued, "I'll let Dr. Chin know that you're fine but I want you on bedrest for the next two days, just to be on the safe side. Uh, is there a Mr. Benson in the picture?"

"My boyfriend is um…away at the moment so it's just me right now. He'll be back in 3 months." Olivia told the doctor.

"I see, well maybe you could get a friend to stay with you for the next two days. Anyway, it is a weekend."

"I'll stay with her." Alex told the doctor.

Olivia turned to Alex and asked, "Are you sure?

"No problem, Liv."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Well that's settled. I'll advise of all of this. However, you should call her office and schedule an appointment as soon as possible. I'm sure she'd like to examine you too, herself."

"Will do, Doctor." Olivia answered, smiling. "In the meantime, am I good to go?"

"Still cramping?"

"Hardly. I think it was just that I went overboard with work today. I just received a promotion and I've been on training."

"Congratulations. However, I do need to emphasize that until this baby is born you do need to take it easy Ms. Benson."

"I will. I'll talk to my superior about this first thing Monday."

"Good and don't forget to see Dr. Chin."

"I won't."

"Well then, just wait for your discharge papers. Uh Miss…" The doctor turned to Alex, his voice trailing off when he realized he didn't know her name.

"Cabot."

"Miss Cabot, Miss Benson here cannot do any strenuous activities. In fact once she's discharged in a few minutes, she will need to be on a wheelchair as you leave. So I suggest no subways for the moment. Please take a cab."

"No problem, doctor. I'll make sure she relaxes even if I have to tie her down." Alex promised.

The doctor laughed. "Thank you Ms. Cabot. One of the nurses will be over in a few minutes to give you your discharge papers Ms. Benson."

"Thank you Dr. Curtis."

"You're welcome. Take care of yourself and your baby."

"I will."

The doctor left her examination area closing the curtain behind him. A moment later, the curtain opened again and there was Kathy. Unbeknownst to them, she had been outside all along, eavesdropping on what was being said inside.

The look on Kathy's face was indescribable. There was rage, there was sadness, there was contempt, there was hurt and there was acceptance. Her voice was strange and trembling when she spoke, "You're pregnant?"

Knowing that Olivia shouldn't be stressed, it was Alex who quickly answered, "What the hell are you doing here? Did you listen in? How dare you!"

"Is it Elliot's baby, Olivia? Is he the father of your child? Did he get you pregnant when he was still married to me when he fucked you? Did he Olivia? Is that why Cragen came looking for him?" Her voice was just above a whisper, but it was dripping with contempt, rage and hurt.

Olivia did not answer Kathy, but she looked stricken.

Alex saw Olivia's expression and firmly, she blocked Kathy's path. "That is none of your business."

"It is my business if my husband…."

"EX-husband." Alex said loudly, emphasizing the ex. "Now if you don't mind, please leave. Olivia needs to rest."

Alex just stood there, unwilling to move away and finally Kathy knew she would not win this particular stand off and she could not make a scene in her place of work. So, she backed down at least for the moment.

But before she left, she gave Olivia one last scathing look and said contemptuously, "I wonder how that kid will turn out to be? Imagine the odds of it doing well when the father is a philanderer and the mother is a whore."

"GET OUT!" Alex said loudly and it was all she could do to keep from slapping Kathy right then and there.

Kathy finally left and once she was gone, Alex turned to Olivia. She saw that her friend was crying. "Liv, hey it's okay. She's just jealous."

Olivia nodded.

"Please stop crying. You know what the doctor said about stress. Are you feeling okay? No cramping again?"

Olivia shook her head.

"Good." Alex replied. "Now come on dry your tears and I'll check about those discharge papers. Why don't you lie down first and rest okay?"

"Thanks, Alex." Olivia told her.

"No problem. I'm only sorry it isn't him that is here. Not that I mind, but I know I'm a poor substitute to a gorgeous hunk of a male ex-cop."

Olivia chuckled. "Thanks for making me laugh, Alex, I needed that."

"Of course. Now wait here, I'll get your discharge papers."

About half an hour later, Olivia and Alex were on a cab on their way to Olivia's. They made a quick stop over at Alex's where she grabbed an overnight bag then went on their way to Olivia's.

On the way there, Olivia was silent. Though she never confirmed to Kathy in the hospital, Kathy now knew of her pregnancy. And she had a bad feeling Kathy was not going to leave this alone and let her and Elliot be.

_**What does Kathy do? Or not do? How is Elliot doing in the Hartford Center? All coming up soon… In the meantime, please review! **_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**I did struggle a bit with this chapter, but I like the way it turned out. Please review.**_

Elliot had made a lot of progress in the 2 weeks he had been in Hartford Center. The first three days were probably the hardest because he missed Olivia and his kids so much. But he determinedly persevered in making it through the program.

He began to see that the people in the center were not your typical drugs or substance abusers. This was really a facility where people went after a sort of breakdown, emotionally.

In the 2 weeks that he had been there, he had gotten close to a couple of people. One was Jeffrey, a CFO for a Fortune 500 company. Because of the economic crisis, a lot of clients were pulling out and it became his responsibility to decide who to fire and who to keep. The guilt of having to fire over 100 employees became too much for him and he had tried to kill himself by locking himself in his garage while the car was running. Fortunately, his wife came home in time.

Then there was Laura, who was just your everyday girl working a 9 to 5 job. One day, she had brought in cake to the office to celebrate her birthday and offered it to all her officemates. Unfortunately she did not know that one of the cake's ingredients contained peanut oil. One of her officemates had a bad allergy to peanuts. A few minutes later after she took a bite out of that cake, she was dead. Laura knew that it wasn't her fault but like Elliot she had been extremely hard on herself. Her guilt led to insomnia and it also led to becoming OCD about food to the point that she wouldn't eat. She became anorexic and that's why she was here.

The first day Elliot was there, he mainly just kept quiet. He was introduced to his roommate – who was Jeffrey and thankfully, they got on.

The second day, Dr. Huang had come in and he and Elliot had sat down with the resident psychiatrist, Dr. Peter Gardner. George filled him in on Elliot's case and at the end of the 2 hour session, Elliot felt that Dr. Gardner had a good grasp of where he stood.

That was two weeks ago. Today, Elliot was in a much better place though he knew he still had a long way to go. He also realized that a lot of his guilt and emotional trouble after the shooting had a lot to do with just more than shooting. He had 1 hour sessions with Dr. Gardner every day and in those sessions, Dr. Gardner had led him to a lot of realizations. He now knew that his emotional breakdown after the shooting not only had to do with the shooting itself but with the unaddressed problems up until that point in his life in general.

His marriage. His indifference to Kathy. Olivia – his denied feelings for her up to that point. The too many atrocities that he's had to see and face and deal with in his job. His fear that Eli wasn't his. His worry about Kathleen's bipolar disorder.

Tomorrow he would be able to make calls and receive calls. He couldn't wait to talk to Olivia and his kids.

It was almost 10 pm and he settled into bed. Every night it was lights out in the Hartford Center at 10 pm so he got ready for bed. Jeffrey, his roommate was already snoring softly.

He looked at the picture of Olivia and one of his kids on his bedside table and picked both of them up. A moment later, he kissed both pictures and then sent them all a silent good night. He couldn't wait to talk to them tomorrow.

The Monday after her confrontation with Kathy, three days before Elliot could call, Olivia talked to Captain Cragen. She told him what the doctor said and she explained to him why she couldn't really put too much overtime.

Captain Cragen understood and told her not to worry about it. The position was hers and that he'd explain to the brass in case they encounter some delays. "And Liv?" Captain Cragen said.

"Yes, Cap?"

"If you're going to need to go on a medical leave, just let me know, okay? Let me just emphasize, the position is yours. Unless you tell us to get someone to replace you, it's yours. Okay?"

A look of relief came upon Olivia's face and she smiled. "Thanks, Cap."

"No problem, now go home and get some rest."

That was a few days ago. It was now the night before Elliot would be calling and she and Casey were in her apartment eating dinner. Her two female best friends had decided that until Elliot came back one of them would always stay with her. This week it was Casey, next week it would be Alex.

Just then, there was a knock on Olivia's door. Olivia stood up but Casey stopped her with a stare. "You are supposed to be relaxing. I'll get it."

"Come on Casey, I'm not an invalid!" Olivia protested.

"Nope. Stay right there." Casey silenced any further protest by walking to the door and opening it.

Olivia followed her and when she saw who was at the door, she gave a small gasp. "Hello, Olivia." Kathy said, ignoring Casey and speaking directly to her in a very cold voice.

"Excuse me?" Casey interjected. "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are you?" Kathy returned.

"I believe you're the one who came here so I believe it's you who should answer the question."

"Who's the bitchy redhead Olivia?" Kathy asked, ignoring Casey yet again. "Ooh! Don't tell me, is she your lover of the week who'll keep you occupied until Elliot comes back? With your track record I wouldn't put it past you to swing both ways."

"What the hell? Who are you? You know what I don't care. Get out before I call the cops." Casey tried to shut the door.

"Why don't you ask her who I am?" Kathy told Casey.

Casey turned to Olivia who looked grim. Ever since the hospital, she had made a decision that if she ran into Kathy again, she wouldn't let her bring her to tears again. Yes, Elliot was still married when they first made love, but she wasn't the cause of the failure of their marriage. She may have been the last straw but there marriage was in tatters long before that night.

So managing to keep cool, Olivia marched to the door and stood next to Casey. "Casey, this is Kathy Malone…."

"Stabler…not Malone." Kathy interrupted.

Olivia rolled eyes. "Fine, Kathy Stabler – at least for the moment until their divorce is finalized then I believe it goes back to Malone – at least that's what Elliot told me."

"You bitch!" Kathy hissed.

"You can call me what you want Kathy, I'm not going to let you upset me. Not anymore. I may have been guilty of sleeping your husband that one time before your break up and trust me I'm sorry for it Kathy. But, before that we never did anything. Every time he's had problems with you, I've tried to help. I'm sure I don't need to list those times for you, you know them already Kathy. I understand why you're mad and upset but it doesn't mean I have to be upset too. I didn't steal Elliot away from you. I didn't feed him some potion to make him fall in love with me or fall out of love with you. They all just happened. I'm sorry you're hurting but isn't better to know the truth than live a lie?" Olivia told Kathy, looking at her directly, truth and sincerity pouring out of her.

Next to her, Casey beamed with pride. Even Kathy could not deny the sincerity of Olivia's words. But that didn't make it easier. In fact, it made it all the more hard. Deep inside, Kathy knew why Elliot had fallen for his partner. But it still hurt like hell and the only way her hurt eased a little was when she got mad at Olivia.

"Whatever, Olivia. Be thankful that the divorce papers were already signed because otherwise, I'd be suing you for adultery. I know that baby you're carrying is Elliot's whether you admit it or not." Kathy told her scathingly.

"Kathy, I am sorry." Olivia answered as firmly but as gently as she could. "Who the father of my baby is none of your business…"

"It is my business, if the father is Elliot!" Kathy interrupted, indignation in her voice.

"Even if that was the case, how is it still your business Kathy? You guys aren't together anymore. You said so yourself, the papers have been signed. Kathy, I know this is hard and I'm the last person you want to hear this from but you got to let it go. You've got to let Elliot go. I promise you, you'll feel better when you do."

She knew that Olivia trying to make her feel less hurt but to Kathy it came across as patronizing and gloating. She looked furious again. "Fuck you, Olivia and fuck Elliot too."

"Kathy, trust me when I say that I can answer that comment with one equally biting and low but I will not stoop to that. So just do us all a favor and leave before I change my mind and become the bitch you really are accusing me of being."

Kathy gasped at her words and raised a hand about to slap her but Casey was too quick for her. Casey grabbed her wrist before she could deliver the slap. Casey was taller than Kathy and she took a step forward and literally put her face in front of Kathy's. Suddenly Kathy cowered because a mad Casey Novak was not someone you crossed lightly. "Unless you want to be arrested for assaulting a police officer, I suggest you do what she said and leave right now."

Kathy looked at Olivia who just folded her arms across her chest. Casey glanced at Olivia and then spoke up again. "And furthermore, you can bet your ass that we will be filing a restraining order against you first thing tomorrow. If you know what's good for you, if you ever want to have a civil relationship with your ex-husband again, then you'll stay away. I know Elliot too, Ms. Malone and I know he won't be happy if you ever hurt Olivia."

Kathy shook free of Casey's grip and with tears running down her face, she spat out, "Damn you both. Damn all of you!" With those last words, she ran out.

Casey closed the door and went next to Olivia. She gave her a brief hug and asked, "Are you okay?

Olivia nodded. "Yeah."

"I'll file for a TRO from her for you tomorrow." Casey told her.

"I don't think that's necessary."

"I do. I'm sure Elliot will agree with me. That kind of confrontation causes stress. And the doctor said no stress. I'm not going to let her jeopardize your pregnancy. I will file it, Liv."

"Alright, I guess you have a point. Thanks, Casey."

"You're welcome. So now that's done, can we finally have dessert?"

Olivia laughed. "Of course, lead the way. What did you bring anyway?"

"Banana cream pie."

"Well what are you waiting for? Get us a couple of slices now."

Glad that her friend was not upset and feeling good, Casey chuckled and obeyed.

Olivia's cell phone rang at about 10 am. She eagerly picked it up but she saw that it was just Alex. Sighing in disappointment, she answered, "Benson."

"Hey." Alex said. "How are you? I just ran into Casey about an hour ago. She told me that bitch came by your apartment."

"Yeah, she did."

"I heard you put her in her place."

Olivia chuckled but then she sobered . "Yeah, but I get why she's upset, Alex."

"Yeah, me too. But she can't just upset you like that. Or verbally abuse you like that."

"I know, Alex."

"Casey's filing the TRO in your behalf right now."

"Well, she thought it best."

"Well, she went to your apartment, Liv. It's one thing to run into you in an ER but it's quite another thing to deliberately go to someone's house and willfully abuse her verbally."

"I know. Well, I leave it at Casey's capable hands. I just want her away from me right now."

"Exactly. Anyway, I gotta go. You take care. Talk to you soon."

"Bye."

An hour later, Casey texted her saying that the temporary restraining order was granted by the judge and was in place for the next 60 days. Kathy couldn't be less than a 100 feet away from her otherwise, if caught she'd be arrested.

Olivia sighed. She really didn't want it to come to this, but Casey and Alex were right. She had to protect herself and the baby. Briefly, she wondered if Kathy would stop all of this if only she admitted that she was carrying Elliot's child. But then she steeled herself. It was none of Kathy's business anymore.

At about 1 pm as she was just finishing her lunch, her phone rang again. This time the caller ID registered an unknown number. She quickly answered it, hoping that it was Elliot. "Benson."

"Hey, Liv. I love you."

It was Elliot. Finally.

Olivia smiled from ear to ear when she heard his voice. "Hey, El! I love you too."

She went in search of an empty interrogation room to get some privacy. Thankfully there was one available and she went in there.

"I miss you so much, Liv." Elliot told her. "The past two weeks have been great for me, but I missed you every single day."

"I'm glad to hear that baby. I know you miss me, and I miss you too but focus on yourself okay? How's it going? "

"I'm doing great, if I do say so myself, Liv. The nightmares are less – I think I've only had about 4 since I got here and when I do get them, they're less intense. I also feel lighter, not tightly wound up like before."

Olivia could tell that treatment was doing him well – she could hear the change in his tone, the lightness in his voice. "I'm so happy for you, El."

"How about you? How's training? How's our baby?"

"Training's going great Elliot. I can't wait to take my new position on." Olivia told him. Olivia could see him grinning his approval at her words.

"And the baby?"

There was a pause and Elliot began to worry. "Liv? Are you there? How's our baby?"

"Our baby is okay, El. But…"

"But what? Baby, tell me please you're scaring me." Elliot did sound really scared.

"El, a few days ago, I experienced some cramping."

"Was there bleeding?" Elliot asked at once.

"No, there wasn't thank God, but I did go to the emergency room at Mercy."

"What did they say?"

"Everything was okay but El, don't get mad okay? Well you're not gonna get mad at me, but I have to tell you something. Don't get upset okay?"

"What?"

"Kathy saw me in the ER and she eavesdropped while the on call doctor examined me. She knows I'm pregnant. She suspects you're the father, but I didn't confirm."

"She eavesdropped?"

"Yeah. She did. I mean I was just in one of those cots with the curtains in the ER and she listened in." Olivia knew that Elliot was upset, she could almost see in her mind that vein of his throbbing on his forehead.

"Are you okay, Liv? She didn't upset you did she?"

"El, I'd be lying if I said she didn't. But that's okay. I know why she's upset. But the thing El is, she didn't stop there. She came by our place yesterday – not that she knows that and she kept asking who the father is. Again I didn't tell her. Anyway to make a long story short, this time Casey was with me and I'm thankful she was. Kathy almost slapped me and Casey stopped her. And today Casey filed a restraining order against her. I'm sorry El. But after the cramping, the doctor said I couldn't be stressed. In fact, Casey and Alex are taking turns staying with me until you get back. I know all of this isn't good news but I had to tell you babe."

There was silence on the other end of the line. All Olivia could hear was rapid breathing. She knew Elliot was very mad right now and she wanted him to calm down. "El?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Elliot took a deep breath, rubbing his head with his free hand. It was gesture he did when he was stressed as he was now. "Liv, I'm sorry about Kathy. Trust me when I tell you she will be hearing about this from me."

"El, no, don't. There's no need."

"Yes there is Liv. I'm glad Casey took out that restraining order. I will tell her to stay away from you."

"El, take a deep breath. Please?" Olivia told him urgently. "Come babe, deep breath."

Reluctantly, Elliot obeyed. He took a deep audible breath that Olivia heard over the phone. "Good." She said. "Now one more."

Elliot took another deep breath. When he finished, Olivia spoke again, a smile in her voice. "Good. Now close your eyes, El."

Elliot closed his eyes. "Are your eyes closed?" Olivia asked.

"Yes." Elliot replied, his voice soft now.

"My eyes are closed too. Now just imagine me there with you, in your arms and kissing you softly. Can you see that in your mind?"

Elliot gave a little sigh of pleasure as the image played in his mind. "Yes."

"Elliot, focus on that image – it's what you're going to get to go home to. So keep your mind in the game over there. I only told you about Kathy because I know you would have wanted me to. But in one ear and out the other, okay? Get better. You sound better, concentrate on that okay? Who knows if you do well you may even get out of there before 90 days?"

"I love you so much, Liv." Elliot told her, his eyes still closed as he spoke with her.

"I love you, too. You okay now, El?" She asked, her eyes still closed too, as she imagined him.

"Yeah. You always did have a way of making me feel better, Liv."

"I know." Olivia chuckled.

There was a moment's pause and then regretfully, Elliot said, "Hey Liv, I hate to end this but I gotta go. We only get to talk for a limited time and I still have to call the kids."

"I know. Now, don't talk to Kathy, okay? Not yet, anyway."

"I won't I promise. And Liv, I want you to promise me to take care of yourself. If you have any cramping or anything of the sort again, I need you to contact me okay? Or if Kathy tries to pull anything again. Promise me, Liv."

"I promise, El."

Elliot sighed with relief and then sadly said, "Well I gotta go. I'll call you again tomorrow okay? What's a good time for me to call?"

"Call me from 6 pm onwards, I should be good then. I'm strictly 9 to 6 now."

"That's great, Liv. Take it easy okay. I miss you! I love you."

"I miss you too, El. I love you."

"Tell Casey and Alex, thank you for taking care of you for me."

"I will. Elliot you take care over there."

"I will. Bye, Liv. Love you. And tell our baby I love him for me."

"Bye El, I will. I love you too."

It was hard to hang up but finally they did.

Olivia sat in the interrogation room a moment longer after the phone call. She put her hand on her belly and spoke to their unborn baby. "Hey there. That was your daddy. And he sounds like he's doing fine. He says he loves you. I love you too. We can't wait to meet you."

Olivia realized that if someone had seen her right then, they may think she was going crazy. But then she just smiled. She was very happy that Elliot was doing well.

She glanced at the clock inside the interrogation room. It was almost 1:30 pm. It was time to get back to work.

There was knock on the door of the house of Kathy Stabler soon to be Kathy Malone. When she opened the door, she saw a bike messenger holding out an envelope. "Kathryn Malone Stabler?"

"That's me." Kathy answered, identifying herself.

The messenger gave her a letter sized enveloped then handed her a clipboard for her to sign. Kathy signed and the messenger was off.

Kathy saw that the letter was from an official one from the office of the district attorney. She ripped it open and her heart sank when she saw the restraining order. Good for 60 days. She needed to stay at least 100 feet away from Olivia otherwise she'd be arrested. She sighed. She knew it was her fault.

Knowing that it was her fault didn't ease the pain though. She folded the letter and put it in her jeans pocket, tears falling from her eyes.

After Elliot talk to his kids, he went straight to the office of Dr. Gardner. Elliot asked to talk to him and Dr. Gardner told him to sit down.

"What happened?" Dr. Gardner asked.

"My ex-wife nearly assaulted my pregnant girlfriend."

"Are they okay?"

"Yeah, thankfully, the situation didn't get out of hand."

"How do you feel about that, Elliot? First phone calls after the two week period are usually full of surprises and drawbacks."

"Well, I suppose you can say that is definitely true in my case."

"Is this going to be a problem, Elliot?"

Elliot sighed and ran his hand through his head. "No. I can't let it be a problem. I want to be whole again. I want to be a better person. And I know my girlfriend can take care of herself. And I know she has our good friends to support her there."

"Good. Look, Elliot, I know that this is really hard. After all, who doesn't want to be with the one you love right? But this is for you. This is ultimately for them."

"I know that Doc. Anyway, I just wanted to say something about it, rather than my usual response of keeping it to myself and letting it fester till I explode.

"Elliot, I'm proud of you. That's why we're here. Come to me anytime you feel overwhelmed. Okay?"

"I will."

"And maybe once you're on your 45 day mark, maybe the first person we need to have here is your ex-wife. Not to mend your relationship as husband and wife – it's too late for that – since you are already getting divorced but to improve on it because like it or not you have children with her. And you need to be civil for the sake of those children. Okay? Don't think about it now. You still have a month till your 45th day."

"Okay, Doc."

"Keep it up, Elliot. You've made a lot of progress already."

"Thanks."

"Well, I believe it's time for your group with Ms. Smith."

"Yeah, I better go. Thanks, again Dr. Gardner."

"Anytime."

Feeling better Elliot stood up and went to join his group therapy session.

_**A/N: Olivia has another scary episode and Maureen pays her a visit. Elliot suffers a setback when he hears a news story about the shooting of Jenna in the precinct. What happens? I will post soon! I hope. In the meantime, reviews are greatly appreciated. **_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**Thank you for all your reviews thus far! I love how there have been almost 10,000 readers to this story and growing everyday! Please review…it really does help with the motivation. **_

Three weeks later…

Olivia was now on her second trimester and in just over a couple weeks, Elliot was going to be allowed visitors so she was in a good mood. She couldn't wait to see him.

In the meantime, her training was taking longer because she couldn't work all the hours. But brass was okay with it and so was Cragen, so she wasn't complaining. For the first time in her career, Olivia could actually have a personal life and a work life.

Then one evening, this time it was Alex who was staying with her, Olivia felt painful cramps on her lower abdomen again. She went to the bathroom and this time she found blood. Not a lot, but not a small amount either. Heart pounding, she called for Alex.

"Alex!" The panic in her voice was evident.

Alex rushed to the bathroom and found Olivia there stricken. "What is it?"

"I'm spotting and cramping."

"Shit."

"We need to get to the ER right now."

"Right." Alex sprang into action. She grabbed her bag, coats for her and Olivia. Olivia's apartment was a fourth floor walk up so the walk down slowed them because Olivia could not risk hurrying and worsening the bleeding. But the moment they were downstairs, Alex told her to just sit by the stairs and thankfully she was able hail a cab quickly.

Ten minutes later, they were in Mercy General ER. They told the triage nurse that Olivia was spotting and cramping and they rushed her to the examination room. The on-call ER doctor quickly checked her and hooked her up to an IV.

They also hooked up her up on monitors that will watch the baby's heartrate and hers as well. The ER doctor told her she would be there for a while so she just needed to relax. For now the baby was fine, the heartbeat was steady and strong.

Tears sprang into Olivia's eyes and she told the doctor, "Please doctor, I don't want to lose this baby."

"Don't worry, Miss Benson, your baby is in no danger at the moment. But we have to monitor you for the next 24 to 48 hours since could be a case of threatened abortion."

"What do you mean?" Her eyes were wide with fear.

"It means you have the potential to miscarry – and given your age, that is unfortunately a risk. But don't worry yet. You and your baby are safe at the moment. Your heartbeat is strong and so is the baby's. Once Dr. Chin gets here – and she'll be coming – she has been paged, will probably do an ultrasound either tonight or tomorrow morning. We need to determine the cause of the bleeding. It could be very well just be hormones, but better to be safe. Okay? Now try to relax for now. I'm going to give you a mild sedative in a little bit so that you won't be so nervous. We can't have you agitated right now. Alright?"

Olivia nodded. "Can my friend come in?"

"Ms. Cabot, is that correct?"

"Yes." Olivia whispered hoarsely.

"I'll call her. I'll be back in about 15 minutes with the sedative. In the meantime, I'll tell Ms. Cabot to stay with you."

"Thank you, doctor."

A few moments later, Alex came in. She looked worried as well, but she tried to smile as she faced Olivia. "Hey."

"Hey. I'm scared, Alex. I wish Elliot was here."

"I know, sweetie. Don't worry I'll call him in the morning. In the meantime, try not to worry okay? What did the doctor say?"

"He said that at my age there's always a risk of a miscarriage but at the moment, we're out of danger. But Alex, what if I lose this baby?" Tears slid down Olivia's cheeks.

"Don't think that way, Liv. You and this baby are going to be fine. His or her mom and dad are both the most stubborn people I know, they are also two of the strongest. It's in his or her genes to be a fighter. Trust me, this kid will fight."

Olivia tried for a smile but didn't quite succeed. She was just quiet as she nodded. "Thanks Alex. Hey, maybe we shouldn't tell Elliot? I mean it might derail his progress."

"You're joking right? Didn't I just stay you guys are the most stubborn people I know? I forgot to mention the father of this kid is also the most hot tempered. I really do not want to be the one to tell him that this happened to you and none of us happened to mention it to him. No way. But I know you told me, it's lights out there at 10 pm and it's already past 10:30 pm so, I'll call him first thing tomorrow."

"Okay. I just hope it doesn't affect his progress. You know? I don't want him away any longer. I know that sounds selfish but that's just how I feel. " Olivia confessed.

"It won't Liv. If anything it should make him more determined to do well so he can get out of there sooner. But at the moment, both of you need to be selfish. You need to think of yourselves first before the other. Him because he needs to heal and get better so he can be there for you and your child and you need to be selfish because if you don't take care of yourself, well, I don't have to say it. Your child, Olivia, needs you to think of yourself first right now, not Elliot. Okay?"

Before Olivia could respond, the on call ER doctor whose name was Dr. Ewing, was back. He put a mild sedative into Olivia's IV and a few minutes later, she was asleep.

Alex asked the doctor if Olivia was going to be out for a while and she was told that yes, she will be sleeping for a few hours. She was also told that she was going to be moved to a room and be admitted since they expected her to be there for 24 to 48 hours. So Alex took care of the paper work and then after she saw Olivia to her room, Alex went back to Olivia's to get her clothes before coming back.

A few minutes after she came back, Alex was asleep too.

Elliot woke up abruptly, sweating. He had the nightmare again. He dreamt that instead of Sister Peg, Jenna had shot Olivia and when he did that he had emptied the clip of his gun on the teenager. Just as Sister Peg, who was alive in his dream opened her mouth to scream, Elliot woke up.

He tried to fall back asleep and couldn't. For the first time in a long time, the nightmare was vivid again. And he knew what caused it.

Earlier after dinner, he had met a new patient. His name was Daniel. When Daniel had seen Elliot he had given him a strange look. "Dude, you look familiar? Do I know you?"

Of course, as a detective, Elliot had met a lot of people but he knew that he had never met Daniel. "Don't think so man. You must be thinking of someone else."

Daniel continued to look at Elliot to the point that Elliot became uncomfortable and started to move away from him. But Daniel was oblivious to Elliot's discomfort and continued to look at him, trying to remember where he knew Elliot from. Then all of a sudden, he snapped his fingers. "I know who you are now! You're that cop who shot that kid when she started to shoot your precinct up! Dude, why did you have to shoot her fatally? You could have just shot her to disarm her. Why'd you kill her?"

There was a roar that came to Elliot's ears and he saw red at Daniel's words. The next moment, he rushed him and almost punched him. But there were nurses and orderlies around who heard what Daniel said and were quick to stop Elliot before he could throw a punch. Elliot struggled as a male nurse and an orderly restrained him. "You don't want to do this, Elliot." The male nurse whose name was Richie said.

"You scumbag!" Elliot shouted. "How dare you come here and judge me? You don't know me. You don't know what happened! So don't you dare question what I had to do! Don't you know that's why I'm here. Because I see the face of that girl every fucking day and I feel guilty every fucking day. So fuck you motherfucker!"

Daniel looked scared because an angry Elliot was not a person you'd like to cross. Elliot's shouting and the commotion brought out Dr. Gardner. "What's going on here?" He asked, looking angry but calm.

Richie explained what happened and Dr. Gardner looked grim. He ordered Richie to bring Elliot to his office. Richie and the orderly did as they were told and led Elliot away from the common room. As he was leaving, Elliot turned to Daniel one more time, "You better learn to keep your mouth shut, asshole. And stay away from me. You're not good for me. And I'm pretty sure I won't be good for you."

"Elliot!" Dr. Gardner said loudly. Elliot looked at him. "Enough. Go to my office with Richie and um, Stan here and we'll talk about this. I'll deal with Daniel here first."

Elliot glared at Daniel one last time and then allowed himself to be led away.

When Elliot was gone, Dr. Gardner turned to Daniel. "Mr. Coates, I'm sorry but you cannot stay here. You have been here less than 12 hours and you've already probably cost one of our patients a major setback in his therapy. We do not judge here. We do not accuse. We listen. We guide. We let people find out the answers themselves."

"But he shot a girl!"

"Yes he did but you weren't there. He isn't a criminal. He was a cop who believed he was doing his job. None of us were there, so we cannot judge."

"Alright, doc, I'm sorry. But I also need help, please don't kick me out." Daniel asked him.

"Daniel, I'm sorry. But I cannot accept you into this program. I believe Bridgeport Center has an opening. We can take you there first thing tomorrow morning. You may stay here tonight but first thing tomorrow you will be headed to Bridgeport okay?"

Daniel nodded, seeing it was pointless to argue.

"Good luck to you."

He called another nurse and told him to lead Daniel to his room now. "Please don't leave your room anymore tonight."

At that he left and proceeded to his office where Elliot was. When he got there, he saw that Elliot was pacing back and forth in his room.

Dr. Gardner closed the door and sat down. He gave Elliot a few moments to keep pacing and then finally said, "Elliot please sit down."

Elliot abruptly stopped his restless pacing, sighed and sat down. "Doc, I'm sorry about my outburst."

"What he said was wrong Elliot. I hope you don't take this to heart. You've made so much progress."

Elliot just sat down, his hands clasped against each other, his head bowed down, tears stinging his eyes. His voice cracked when he spoke, "Doc, what if he's right? I mean I should have shot to disarm instead of shooting to kill. I could have done that. I've done that many times. Why did I kill her instead of disarming her."

"Elliot, the girl was shooting randomly and openly. You had to do what you did. You had to stop her definitively in order to keep her from killing more innocents."

"That's what I keep telling myself, Doc. And I was starting to believe it until tonight."

Dr. Gardner sighed. "I'm sorry about what Daniel said to you, Elliot. It was wrong. I can't undo or unsay what he said. But it is within you not to let it get to you. Remember, he WASN'T there."

"Neither were you."

"Yes and that's why I can't judge you. And it is why all the other people who weren't there shouldn't be so quick to judge and jump to conclusions. What I can do is help you in moving on, in dealing with your judgment call at that time and I can help you to make better judgments in the future. You're a good person Elliot. You were a great cop. So don't let anyone, especially someone who knows nothing about you, tell you differently."

Elliot hastily wiped the tears from his eyes and met Dr. Gardner's gaze. He nodded. "I'll try. Thank you, Doc."

"That's what I'm here for. Just to let you know, I kicked Daniel out of the program. He'll be going to another program in Bridgeport instead. If I keep him here, I worry that he'll not only derail you but with his kind of attitude, he may derail others and not be able to help himself. "

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

Dr. Gardner smiled then stood up. "Well, it's almost time for lights out, why don't you go to your room okay and try to get some rest."

Elliot replied, "Alright, doc."

It was now 2 am. That had been almost 4 and half hours ago. He hated himself for letting Daniel affect him so much that he was back to his nightmares. Rage started to boil within him again but then he stopped. Like Dr. Gardner said what was said cannot be unsaid. So he had to deal with it. He started breathing deeply and slowly, willing himself to calm down. He closed his eyes and he imagined Olivia next to him. He imagined her grabbing his arms and making him encircle her with them and putting his hand on her belly. A smile suddenly came upon his face. How he missed her and how he wished he was with her. The image of her and her growing belly was so vivid and that vividness suddenly made him determined to not this one incident derail him. Relaxed now, Elliot finally fell back asleep.

Elliot had been about to go into his one on one session with Dr. Gardner the next day, when he was called. He had a phone call.

Thinking it was Olivia or one of his kids, Elliot hurried to answer it. "Hello."

But the voice on the phone was unfamiliar. Or rather it was familiar but not someone he placed at once. "Elliot?"

"Yes, who is this?" He asked, curious.

"Thank God, hey it's Alex. Alex Cabot."

"Hi, Alex! What's up?" Suddenly he remembered that Alex had been staying with Olivia that week and a great fear suddenly seized him. "Alex, is Olivia okay? Is our baby okay? Why are you the one calling?" The fear he felt was clear in his voice.

"Elliot, calm down. First of all, before anything Olivia and the baby are fine."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief but then he tensed up again when he heard Alex say, "But…Olivia's in the hospital. I rushed her to Mercy last night."

"My God! What happened? Alex, please tell me." Elliot was pacing back and forth as he talked on the phone, rubbing his head.

"Well basically she had some cramping again and this time, she spotted and it was a little on the heavy side. So I brought her to the ER and well they admitted her. She and the baby are okay Elliot. For now, there is nothing to worry about. She'll be here until tomorrow probably. And I think the doctor is going to recommend bed rest for at least a month. So if I were you, concentrate over there so that you can get home to her fast." Alex advised as calmly as possible.

"Where is she right now, Alex? Oh God, I want to be with her there." Elliot was near tears and it was obvious from his tone of voice.

"Elliot, Olivia knows that. But she also knows that you need to be there right now. She was hesitant to let you know about what happened because she knows you'd think this way. So do me a favor and don't. We just wanted to let you know. She's safe. The baby is safe."

"Can I talk to her?" Elliot asked, his voice still choked up.

"Not right now, Elliot. She's being seen by Dr. Chin and she's also undergoing ultrasound. But I'll have her call you later. What's a good time to call you?"

"I usually call her at 6 pm, right before she goes home from work."

"Well then, I'll make sure she's up then. If it's not possible, we will give you a call earlier, okay?"

"Okay." Elliot paused for a moment and then spoke up again. "Hey Alex?"

"Yes Elliot?"

"Thank you for taking care of her."

"It's no problem Elliot. She's my friend and I love her too. Just don't ever leave her again. Okay?"

"I won't. That's a promise." Elliot told her sincerely.

"Good. Well I gotta go. I actually have to go to court in a bit. But I think Fin is on his way over here till lunch and after that Casey will be here. So don't worry, we have it covered."

"Thank you – to all of you… please tell them that. And tell Liv that I love her and miss her. Tell her I'll talk to her later, okay?"

"I will. Talk to you later, Elliot."

"Bye, Alex."

After they hung up, Elliot remained in the phone area for a few minutes. He was silent, not talking to anyone, letting people take their turn at the phone.

Elliot was thinking hard. It wasn't that he didn't trust their friends…he'd trust them with their lives. But they also had other things going and he needed someone who was family to be there in his place to be there with Olivia. He made up his mind. When his turn on the phone came again, he dialed a number he had memorized by heart. He hoped that she was free and could talk. The phone rang. One ring…two rings….three rings…and then finally, "Hello?" A voice on the other line answered in greeting.

"Maureen, are you busy? I need to tell you something, sweetie."

_**A/N: Is Elliot really going to tell Maureen about having a baby with Olivia? If yes, how will Maureen react? Will Olivia and the baby make it through? All will be answered in the next chapter. In the meantime, please review!**_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**Sorry still no smut in this chapter, but a lot of drama and realizations…I loved writing this chapter. I think it's quite emotional and very telling. Please tell me what you all think. Reviews are great! Again thank you to all who have read and to those who have reviewed.**_

At Mercy General….

It was about 5 pm in the afternoon, Olivia was back in her room in Mercy General. Thankfully, Kathy did not seem to have found out that she was there. Or if she did, she was paying attention to the restraining order and staying away.

Casey had taken over watching Olivia after Fin and she was there when Captain Cragen arrived to check on Olivia. Casey went to get some food while Captain Cragen visited. Olivia had told him then about the findings. "Dr. Chin, my OB-GYN tells me I have partial placenta previa."

Captain Cragen who never had kids looked confused. "What does that mean, Liv?"

"It means the placenta which is attached to my baby and where it gets its food, is partially blocking my cervix. That's why I'm having spotting. As for the cramping, they say it's just hormonal and a result of stress."

"I see. Liv, do you need time off? You know you have a lot of vacation and sick days saved up, so just say the word." Captain Cragen offered sincerely.

"But what about my promotion?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Liv, nothing is more important than that baby right now. Don't worry. The brass is very impressed by the work you and Elliot have done and they are impressed still with your work now. I'll talk to them. But I'm pretty sure, they'll be fine with it. Besides you're pretty much done with training. It's basically just installing you in the job now. And while I'm still around, don't worry about it. The only drawback is that if you can't start your new position in time, then your increase may be delayed appropriately."

Olivia chuckled and replied, "Don't worry, Captain I can live with that."

Captain Cragen chuckled too. "Okay, I'll talk to them tomorrow. In the meantime, just let us know if you need anything."

"Thank you."

"Liv, you've been like the daughter I never had. You're welcome."

Just then there was a knock on the door and Captain Cragen looked at Olivia who nodded. "Come in." Cragen said.

The door opened and Olivia gave a small gasp when she saw Maureen Stabler there. "Maureen! What are you doing here? How did you…" Her voice trailed off when she saw Maureen taking in everything in front of her.

"Hi Liv, it's okay. Dad told me everything. Don't worry." Maureen replied, smiling. "Good evening, Captain Cragen."

"Hi Maureen." Cragen replied, making room for the girl.

"How's my little brother or sister?" Maureen asked softly, her voice a little choked with emotion. "Is he or she gonna be okay? Are you okay, Liv?"

Olivia looked at her and she looked like she was going to cry as well. Cragen cleared his throat and told Olivia, "I'm just going get me some coffee okay? I'll be back. You two talk first okay?"

Olivia nodded, smiling at Cragen. "Thanks, Cap."

"Be right back."

When Cragen had left, Maureen reached for Olivia and gave her a tight embrace. "I'm so happy for you and Dad." Maureen told Olivia, tears in her eyes.

"You are?" Olivia asked. "I mean, did your dad tell you everything?"

"Most of it. I mean I know that he was still married to mom when…"

"I'm so sorry Maureen. Your dad and I didn't plan it…it just happened…"

"Liv, it's okay. I mean it's not okay, but it's okay. I know my dad has been in love with you for a long time. Only someone blind would miss how he feels about you." Maureen smiled before continuing. "He only went back to Mom because of a sort of Catholic guilt and Eli. But they haven't been happy for a long time. If you only knew how many times they've threatened to leave each other."

"But I just don't want you to think I'm the cause of their divorce. I couldn't bear that Maureen." Olivia looked at Elliot's oldest daughter, who was holding her hand. "I need you to know that."

Maureen nodded. "Liv, you may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but you are not the root cause. My mom and dad got together because of me. There was a time when things were so bad at home that I used to be blame myself, you know. But then I realized it wasn't me. They were just two people who were in love once upon a time who tried to do the right thing. But they were kids then, they were younger than me now when they got married. And now they're no longer kids….and they fell out of love. It just took them a long time to admit it because they love us so much. I'd rather have them apart and happy with someone else, than be together with each other, miserable."

Olivia started at wonderment at the girl – no woman – Maureen was now a woman - in front of her and smiled. "When did you get to be so smart and grown up huh?"

Maureen chuckled. "Well Liv, if you didn't notice I'm already out of college."

"That you are." Olivia returned. "Time flies."

"Yes it does and before you know it, you're going to be a mom, Liv." Maureen said, still smiling, still holding Olivia's hand. "And you're going to be a great one."

Tears spilled from Olivia's eyes and she embraced Maureen once again. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding and for being happy for us."

"Liv, how can I not be? I know how happy you make my dad. He loves you so much. I don't think I've ever seen him look at my mom, the way he looks at you. I've seen that look for years, Liv. It's about time you guys realized what you feel for each other."

"I just feel bad for your mom, you know?"

Maureen nodded. "I do too. And she did the best she can for us. But you can't force someone to be in love with you. No matter how much you wish you could sometimes. You just can't."

"I know."

The two women just looked at each other and hugged again. "So, Liv, my dad has asked me to stay with you while he's not around. If that's okay with you. And he told me he was going to call you at 6pm today and insist that you take us up on our offer."

"What?" Olivia asked, disbelievingly. "Maureen, you have your life. I can't ask you to move in with me while your dad is not here. It's too much."

Maureen groaned. "Dad said this is how you were gonna react. Please, Liv, make it easy on all of us and just say yes. You're not imposing. More than my dad asking me, I want to do this. I want to be there for you. You've been there for us – my gosh, you even helped my mom give birth to Eli. You have always been there for the Stabler family. Let us be there for you now. Please."

"Are you sure, Maureen? What about your job?"

"Liv, with this economy, I'm basically temping. I already checked before I came here, my temp agency told me there's a work from home job that they can give me. As long as you have internet connection at home, I can work. So everything's covered. So what do you say, Liv? Do you mind me being your temporary roomie, till my dad comes home?"

"I'd love it Maureen, but what about your mom? And the other kids? How are they going to react? And what about your apartment?"

"I can do a short term sublet on my apartment. I already talked to my roommate, she's okay with it. In fact, it's perfect timing because in a week's time, her cousin from Canada will be here for a month for an internship, so again it's covered. Face it, Liv, it's like God is smoothening the way for you guys."

Olivia chuckled. "Well, okay last, what about your family? Your mom knows I'm pregnant, I ran into her here in the ER a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to know if your dad was the father. I never confirmed it to her. How about Kathleen? Lizzie and Dickie?"

"Look at you, Liv….you're still worrying about us."

Olivia looked sheepish and replied, "It's kind of a hard habit to break. I've been doing it for nearly 13 years."

"Yes, you have. So it's time to let us take care of you. In answer to your question, my dad is going to call my mom and tell her. Later, he's actually going to have her come to Hartford when he's allowed visitors because the psychiatrist told him it'd be good for him to just clear the air with her. Because even though they're divorcing, he needs to be civil to her because of us."

Olivia nodded in agreement. "That's true. I'm glad that he's willing to do that."

"Yeah, me too. As for Kathleen, I already told her. She's okay with it too. She wanted to visit you today as well, but she had a paper to write for school. It's a big chunk of her grade so she said if she didn't catch you here, she'll visit at your place. As for Dickie and Lizzie, dad said to hold off telling them. I think he wants to tell them himself. But honestly I don't think it'll be a problem. Lizzie has always worshipped you and the only problem I think that Dickie will have is that you won't be his girlfriend but his dad's."

"What?"

"Dickie has had a crush on you for the longest time. Between us girls, he used to tell us that if Dad didn't make a move on you by the time he was 18, he was the Stabler who was gonna make the move on you."

Olivia laughed out loud. "I never knew that."

"Don't tell him, I told you, okay?"

"Okay." Olivia agreed, still grinning.

"So…are you okay with me staying with you now?" Maureen asked, looking at her expectantly.

Olivia laughed again and replied, "I guess I have no choice huh?"

Maureen's eyes were twinkling with mirth. "Nope. You don't. I'm a Stabler. And you know how stubborn we all are."

"Boy, don't I know it!"

The two women laughed again and that's how they found them when Casey walked in with Captain Cragen and Alex .

Olivia introduced Alex and Casey to Maureen. Maureen smiled shyly at the two ADAs and told them, "It's nice to meet you Miss Cabot, Miss Novak."

"Please it's Alex!"

"Yes, no Miss Novak please. Makes me feel old. It's just Casey."

Maureen grinned and replied, "Alright."

"So, you two can be relieved of being my babysitter. Maureen will stay with me while Elliot is away." Olivia told Alex and Casey.

"Really?" Casey asked, looking at Maureen.

Maureen nodded. "Yes, ma'am. My dad asked me to and I want to as well."

"Well, that's great!" Alex replied. "But if you need help or anything, just don't hesitate to give us a call."

Casey nodded in agreement.

"Of course. Thank you both." Olivia told them, smiling at Casey and Alex.

"Well, it looks like you're in good hands, Liv. So I don't need to worry about you too much." Cragen interjected.

"No, you don't Captain." Olivia said.

"Anyway, I hate to say it but I gotta go. Need to finish some paperwork in the office. Give me a call Liv when you get discharged and will talk about your leave of absence okay?"

"Thanks, Cap."

"Liv, I hate to say it but I'm on the same boat as the Captain here. Still gotta go back to Hogan Place to finish up some wretched paperwork." Casey advised.

"Really? That sucks." Olivia remarked.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay, thanks Casey."

Captain Cragen and Casey said goodbye to Alex and Maureen and went on their way.

Ten minutes later, Olivia's cell phone rang and it was Elliot. Looking unabashedly at the two women with her, Olivia answered the phone and said, "I love you so much."

"I love you so much, too, Liv." Elliot told her tenderly. "Hey, Alex called me this morning. How are you? Are you okay? How's our baby?"

"The baby's okay El. He or she just misses his or her daddy very much. And I do too."

"God, Liv, I'm so sorry I cannot be there right now." Elliot sounded tearful as he spoke to her.

"It's okay, El. Just concentrate on your therapy there so you can home to us, okay?"

"I will. I definitely will."

"El, Maureen is here."

"Are you mad that I told her?" Elliot asked.

"Mad? How can I be mad? She's going to be staying with me."

"Thank God, you agreed." Elliot replied.

"Well, she has your stubborn Stabler streak, plus she made a good case. El, thank you."

"You shouldn't be thanking me. I should be there, not Maureen. If only…."

"El, stop. Okay? Let's not dwell on things that can't be right now."

"Alright. So, did they find out why you were bleeding?"

"Yes, they did." Olivia proceeded to tell him about the doctor's findings. The partial placenta previa, the overactive hormones and the stress. She also told him about the leave of absence.

"But you're both okay right now?"

"Yes, we are, El. The only problem is…"

"What? What's the problem?" Elliot interrupted.

Olivia chuckled. "The only problem is that we miss you."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief. "You scared me for a while there."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I love you, Liv. Take care of you and the baby okay? Maureen will be there to take care of you."

"She told Kathleen you know?"

"Kathleen told her to tell me she'll visit soon too."

"God I love my kids." Elliot said, the smile evident in his tone. "Liv, I will tell Dickie and Lizzie soon too, okay?"

"No hurry, Elliot. It's your call."

"Thanks. Hey can I talk to Maureen really quickly?" Elliot asked.

"Sure." She handed the phone to Maureen and told her, "Your father wants to talk to you."

Maureen took hold of the phone and said, "Hey, Dad."

"Thank you, Mo for doing this."

"Don't worry about it Dad. I love you. Get home to us soon, okay?"

"I will, sweetie. I love you."

"Love you too." Maureen returned, smiling. "Dad, here's Liv again okay, talk to you again soon." She handed the phone back to Olivia.

"Baby?" Elliot said into the phone.

"Yes?"

"You rest up okay. If you need anything or feel anything or whatever, just tell Maureen. And don't forget to let me know whatever happens. Hopefully nothing more will happen."

"Okay. The doctor said that the placenta previa since it's just partial can still correct itself. But if it doesn't I'll have to give birth by c-section. And oh yeah, I told Dr. Chin, I don't want to find out the sex until you get back. So we have that to look forward to."

"That's awesome, Liv."

"You're welcome, Stabler. Anyway, I have to go, I'm sorry. Dr. Chin will be here to check on me again soon. If there's no more spotting for the night, they'll be discharging me tomorrow."

"Good, I'll pray that there's no more spotting or anything like that ever again."

"I love you, El. I miss you."

"I miss you so much, Liv. I love you too."

"Bye."

"Only for now." Elliot replied.

"Yes, only for now." Olivia conceded and ended the call.

As always Elliot waited for the click on her end before he hung up. As he walked away from the phone, he uttered a silent prayer that everything will be okay now.

_**Things seem to be looking up for all. Will it stay that way? Up next, Maureen moves in with Olivia. Kathleen pays a visit and Elliot talks to Kathy. Please review!**_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine they are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**I feel that this is a transition chapter but an essential one. Not much E/O but everything is about E/O. This pretty much a Stabler family chapter. It's emotional and full of admissions. Enjoy! **_

Maureen was a godsend. Elliot couldn't be prouder or happier to call her his daughter than right now. It was a week later and Maureen had just called him. She had settled into Olivia's three days before and they were doing well. Olivia was doing well. No scary episodes anymore. Maureen kept her relaxed and helped her to make sure she didn't do strenuous things. Most of the time, Maureen insisted that Olivia stay in bed. She told her dad that she told Olivia, "That's why it's called bedrest, Liv. You're supposed to be in bed."

Elliot had laughed when she told him that. He replied, "Thanks, Mo! I owe you big time. Did your mom call you yet? I already talked to her and well, that did not go too well. She told me she was going to call you?"

"Yeah, she did." Maureen said. "She wanted me to come to the house later."

"And?"

"I said I would tonight. Casey is coming later so Olivia will have someone with her while I'm there."

"Okay, sweetheart. You're probably in for something not too pretty, so let me apologize now for it. I wish I was there instead, you know?"

"I know, Dad. But don't worry, I'll handle mom. I promise. Just work on getting home to us okay?"

"I am sweetheart. Actually, Dr. Gardner the psychiatrist here thinks I can start with my family therapy next week. That's about a week ahead of schedule because I've made good progress. It's not exactly a visit in every sense of the word but I get to see people from the outside. I was going to tell Olivia actually later when I talked to her. But Dr. Gardner wants me to focus on the past so to speak first. So maybe you, the twins and Kathleen can come with your mom? The thing is though, your mom refuses. Maybe you can talk her into it?"

"I'll try, Dad. But as much as I'm happy for you and Liv, you gotta understand Mom is really hurt by all of this."

"I know, Mo. But it's not gonna get easier if she doesn't confront it." Elliot confided into his eldest daughter.

"I know. I'll try my best Dad. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Mo. Thanks. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

After Maureen hung up, she went to Olivia's bedroom. "Hey Liv, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good Mo. Dying to get out of bed though." Olivia admitted.

"No! God! Just enjoy the fact that the only thing you need to do is be lazy. Okay?" Maureen laughing exclaimed!

Olivia looked sheepish. "I know but it's just I've just been so used to working you know?"

"I know, but now try to enjoy doing nothing." Maureen admonished.

"Alright, alright! You win! Look," Olivia put her hand on her belly, "I already have a noticeable baby bump."

Maureen came and sat down next to her. She put her hand on Olivia's belly and replied, "I know. Hi little brother or little sister, behave in there okay?"

Olivia smiled. "Hey, Mo, I just wanna say thank you again."

"No problem, Liv." Maureen replied. "But hey, I have something to tell you. Casey's coming here later right?"

"Yup, she is. What is it?"

"Well, earlier when you were asleep my Mom called me and my Dad already told her about you and the baby plus the fact that I'm staying here and helping you out. Well…she's not taking it well." Maureen paused as she saw Olivia was about to say something. "Wait, stop right there, let me finish. I am NOT leaving here. You do NOT have to worry about that. BUT, I need to go to her tonight. She is my mom after all and well, truthfully, she's really hurting right now."

Olivia suddenly looked sad but she nodded. "I understand. No problem. You don't need to ask permission from me."

"No I don't. But I needed to tell you. So anyway as soon as Casey arrives I'm gonna go. Alright? I'll be back."

"Your Dad know about this?"

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with him. He told me he's going to call you his usual time."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. Well Maureen, if you can't stay here…I'll understand."

"Liv, what did I say? Don't worry about that. I'll be back. And I'm not leaving yet. Still have work to do. It's only like 2pm."

"Okay. Well don't let me keep you from work. I'll just be here in bed, watching TV."

"Yeah, just watch Judge Judy or something." Maureen advised, smiling again.

Olivia chuckled. "No thanks, I've seen way too may actual judges off screen. I'll find something."

"Alright, I'll be right outside if you need anything."

"Thanks Maureen."

Elliot was in his afternoon session with Dr. Gardner. He had told Dr. Gardner what was happening with Olivia, with Kathy and with Maureen.

And today, that was still the topic of their discussion. "So how are things with Olivia?"

"She's okay. I call her everyday at 6 pm and so far, no more spotting. She's been home for the last week and my eldest is actually staying with her like I said."

"That's good. Have you told Kathy yet?"

Elliot nodded. "Yes, I did. Yesterday, after our session, I called her."

"And?"

"She didn't take it well."

"I expected that. But having said that, you still need to face her Elliot. Did you ask her to come visit for family therapy?"

"Yes and she flat out said no. She'll do anything to keep me from Olivia." There was bitter note in his voice.

"Elliot, you have to understand her side. You can't expect her to jump for joy."

"I know that, Dr. Gardner. But I just find it hard to fathom that she'd rather continue living the lie that we've been living for so many years just because of her pride."

"Sometimes, pride is the only thing we have left Elliot."

Elliot sighed in frustration. "Doc, I will always have a special place in my heart for Kathy. She was my first love, but I know now she isn't the love of my life. She's also the mother of my children. I really wish happiness for her. But that happiness just isn't with me. I wish it was, but it isn't."

"Give her time Elliot. Next week is still several days away, hopefully she'll reconsider."

"I hope so."

"So, how are you sleeping? Are the anti-anxiety pills helping? Any more nightmares?"

"Not since that time after Daniel. About those pills, I'd really like to ween myself off of them."

"We will eventually Elliot, but not yet. You're feeling more confident now because you're still here. Once you're outside again, you may realize that you do need them. At least for the time being."

"I just don't want to get addicted to them. I know those things can be habit forming."

"Don't worry, you will be monitored. And besides after you're released here, you'll be an outpatient with George Huang. You're in good hands with him."

"Yes, I am."

"Do feel more in control now Elliot? I mean ever since leaving SVU and coming here?"

Elliot was quiet for a moment and then replied, "Yes, I guess. I mean after all I've seen there, I know that I cannot control everything. But at least now, my time is my own. I don't have to steel myself everyday from the horrors I know I'll face. I think you can only take so much of those before you can't do it anymore. An average lifespan of a detective in the SVU unit is 4 years. I went 3 times longer than that. And Olivia too. At least now she won't be out on field anymore."

"Yes, I agree we can only take so much horror before we break down. I'm glad you finally found your limit."

"Well, it was kind of forced upon me." Elliot replied, wryly.

"Yes, but you could have still gone back. But you didn't."

"Right."

"Well, that's it for now. Till tomorrow. In the meantime, you really are doing well, Elliot. Just keep focused. Okay?

"Will do, Doc."

With that, their session ended and Elliot went out of Dr. Gardner's office.

Later that evening, Maureen found her mom locked in her bedroom. The twins had told her that she had locked herself in the room since the afternoon and they didn't know why. She refused to talk to them. The only thing they had gotten out of her was to their homework and that dinner was ready to reheated in the fridge.

Maureen sighed as she knocked on the bedroom door. "Mom, it's me."

She didn't hear reply but she heard footsteps and then the door unlocked. Her heart went out to Kathy when she saw her. Kathy's face was tear-stained. Her hair was tangled and her clothes were wrinkled. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Oh, Mom." Maureen said, embracing her tightly.

The moment she felt her daughter's arms around her, Kathy started crying. Maureen closed the door and she led her mom to the bed. The two of them sat down and Kathy held her tightly, crying.

Maureen just let her cry. She knew that sometimes you just need to cry it out and afterwards, you'd feel better and more clear headed. She never pulled away from Kathy's embrace.

Several minutes later, Kathy's sobs started to subside. Until they finally stopped. When Kathy was quiet, Maureen gently broke the embrace and putting her hands on Kathy's shoulders, she looked at her and asked, "Feel better?"

Kathy nodded and replied in a hoarse whisper, "Yeah."

"Good. Do you want me to get some water or whatever?"

Kathy shook her head. "I'm just glad you're here."

"Of course, Mom!"

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Kathy apologized.

"Mom, it's okay. I know you must be hurting."

"I just feel so betrayed, Mo! I can't believe he's having a kid with that…that…bitch."

"Mom, I know you're angry and hurt right now, but Olivia isn't a bitch. I know you don't mean that."

"I just hate her right now. I mean she stole your Dad away from me."

Maureen sighed and looked at her mother. She really looked down and hurt. "Mom, I know you're hurt. Okay? I get that and please know I am not taking sides. BUT, I want you and Dad to be happy. And face it, you guys haven't been happy in years. You've been on the verge of divorce for so long. This was a long time coming. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. I know you know it."

"I love your dad so much, Mo. I miss him."

"I don't doubt that, Mom. You were together since after high school. I know you love him, but are you still in love with him? Truly?"

Maureen was asking the hard questions now and she refused to back down. She knew the only way everyone could go on was to confront all the issues. Kathy remained silent, a stony look on her face still. Maureen sighed but she persisted. "Mom. Are you still in love with Dad? Because in my honest opinion, you're not. You love him, yes but you're not in love with him. You haven't been for a long time. And you know what, it's okay."

A tear snaked its way down Kathy's cheek again. Her voice was choked with emotion when she replied, "Sometimes I think I am. But mostly…" Her voice trailed off as she didn't want to voice it out loud.

Maureen was quiet and let Kathy take her time in answering. This was very hard on her. She reached out and took her Mom's hand in hers, squeezing it in reassurance. "Mom, I'm here. Just take your time."

Kathy struggled to compose herself. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath before continuing, "But mostly…no…no I'm not in love with your father anymore. You're right. But it still hurts so much. And I feel like I'm letting all of you down by this divorce."

Maureen hugged her mother again then spoke up once more. "Mom, listen to me. You are not disappointing us. Especially me. It was because of me you guys got married in the first place. You were so young and yet you guys did the right thing…but that was then. This is now. Isn't it about time you guys took care of yourselves instead of us? We're old enough. We just want you to stop fighting and be happy. And since you can't be happy together, well then so be it. But it doesn't mean you can't be happy. Just not with each other."

"I know, Mo. But I guess…I'm jealous. I've always been jealous of Olivia…even though I know up until that time they conceived that baby they never did anything. I mean she was so good to us and your father spent so much time with her."

"Mom, they were partners." Maureen reminded her gently.

"I know, baby, but it still hurts to know she saw him more than I did. That he shared things with her, he never did with me."

"You know he never wanted to bring home his work to us."

"Yes, and I think that was the beginning of the end. The moment he decided to do that and share that with just her instead of me, that was when the love and trust started to fade."

"You guys tried. I mean, you left and got separated before but then he came back. You tried again. And we love you for it. But it's the same thing I told Dad, I'd rather you guys be happy apart than miserable together. And Mom, look at you, you're blonde, you're gorgeous, like me."

Kathy laughed softly at her daughter's remark. And Maureen smiled, glad to hear her laugh. "Yeah you are. Dad found Liv, and that's good for him. But just because he isn't for you it doesn't mean you have to waste any more time not finding the one who is. And whoever he'll be, he'll be lucky to have you."

"What man is going to want a woman with five kids, Mo?" Kathy sounded despondent.

"Mom, four of those kids are grown up. In 2 years time, Dickie and Lizzie will be out of the house too and in college. So that leaves Eli. At this day and age, is that so unusual? What's more rare actually is a marriage out of high school that lasted as long as yours and Dad's. So be proud. Don't be sad. You'll find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be. I'm sure of it."

"You make it sound so easy, Mo."

"I know it isn't, Mom. But it could be harder. But that's all up to you. I'm not telling you be best friends with Olivia or to become their child's godmother but it is up to you whether you make it harder or not on yourself."

Kathy was silent again. She was wondering, just like Elliot and Olivia before her, how her daughter got so smart. She smiled wistfully. "My darling daughter has grown up so much."

"Well yeah, I'm old now."

"Hardly. But Maureen, thank you. I know it'll be a long road ahead but I'm sure with your help, I'll be fine. You'll be there for me, right, Mo?"

"Of course, Mom. I love you."

"I love you, sweetheart." Mother and daughter embraced again.

"So how's your Dad doing?" Kathy asked.

"He's doing great. Mom, I know I'm pushing it, but please reconsider going to Connecticut next week. It will really help Dad and I think it'll help you too. Even though you're divorcing, somehow you'll always be in each other's life because of us. So I'm asking you, for the last time, for us your children, please go. We need you and Dad to be okay with each other. PLEASE."

Kathy looked down and asked, "Will Olivia will be there?"

Maureen shook her head. "No. Dad said his psychiatrist wanted him to deal with the past first before he can move on with his present so…that's you. Besides Olivia is on bedrest for one month, so even if she wanted to go, she can't."

"You're staying with her aren't you?"

"Yes." Maureen answered honestly. "I hope you know that's not because I'm on her side. But unlike you who have us, she doesn't have anyone really. And she's having a complicated pregnancy. I don't want anything to happen to my little brother or sister."

"You're an awesome woman, Mo. I hope you know that."

"Thanks, Mom. You are too you know and one day another guy will see that and you'll get your happiness too."

"From your lips to God's ears." Kathy remarked, a little smile on her lips.

"Of course. " Maureen replied. She paused and then asked again, "So will you go? I think you should bring the twins too. I'm sure you we can get them excused from school for this. I know Dad wants to tell them about the baby himself. Maybe you guys can tell them together. And I'm sure they'll take it much better if they see you're okay with it. If that's too much then just let Dad tell them. But they need to know, too."

"Okay Mo, I'll go. Not sure on the united stance on telling the twins about the baby, but I'll talk to your dad. That much I can promise you."

"Alright mom. That's okay. I understand. Thank you. Dad's calling me tomorrow. I'll tell him to call you then and you can arrange the details."

Kathy nodded. "Alright, Maureen."

"Okay, now enough crying and let's get you looking good. Why don't you shower and I'll whip you up some dinner and we can eat before I leave okay?"

Kathy nodded. "A shower will definitely be good right now."

"Cool. And Mom?"

"Yes, Maureen?"

"You're awesome. Thank you for keeping me and staying with Dad for me and for all of us."

Kathy looked like she was going to cry again but instead she just smiled. "Well if nothing else your dad and I got 5 things right in our marriage – you, Kathleen, Lizzie, Dickie and Eli."

"That you did Mom, that you did. I love you."

"I love you too." The two women looked at each other lovingly and Maureen squeezed her mother's hand. "Now go whip us some dinner."

"I will. And you go shower."

Maureen stood up , smiling and left the bedroom to go cook dinner.

_**Up next, Olivia visits her doctor again for a check up. Kathy, Lizzie and Dickie visit Elliot in Connecticut and Kathleen finally pays Olivia a visit while Maureen babysits Eli while everyone else is in Connecticut. In the meantime, please review! **_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

_**A/N: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are Dick Wolf's, they are not mine.**_

_**Hey guys sorry it took so long for me to post an update. Real life has been quite hectic with the holiday season. I will be on vacation beginning the 24**__**th**__** to January 2**__**nd**__** so I'll be constantly updating then. In the meantime, please enjoy this next chapter. As always reviews are appreciated! **_

"Can I tell you something, Liv?" Kathleen asked, looking at her.

The second Stabler girl was finally visiting for the first time. Olivia looked at her fondly and replied, "Of course, Kathleen. What is it?"

Kathleen looked down, clearly hesitant but clearly also wanting to get something off her chest. "I don't want you to get mad…"

Olivia smiled at her and replied, "I won't get mad Kathleen. I promise."

"Alright." Kathleen took a deep breath, then with her eyes downcast finally confessed. "When I first heard that you and Dad were having a baby, I was mad."

"And now?"

"I'm not mad anymore. But I was. It's just that, well I wanted you guys to do it right. Not like that. I guess I just put you guys up on a pedestal, especially you, you know?"

"Oh, Kathleen. I'm sorry we disappointed you. We disappointed ourselves."

"It's okay Liv. I kinda set up myself up for disappointment. I'm old enough to know that we all make mistakes, even you, even if I'd like to think that you're perfect."

Olivia laughed out loud. "Thanks, Kathleen. But I'm far from perfect."

"Yeah. But you and my Dad are perfect together."

"You really think that?" Olivia asked, her eyes bright with unshed tears at Kathleen's words.

Kathleen nodded. She paused and then asked, "You love him a lot, don't you?" She blushed slightly at the bluntness of her question.

Olivia smiled gently at the girl and replied, "Yes, I do, Kathleen."

"He loves you a lot too." Kathleen confided.

"I know. " Olivia confessed.

"I'm glad you finally know and that you feel the same way. We've known it for years."

"So I've heard." Olivia chuckled.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"We love you, too. Thank you for making our Dad happy."

Tears stained Olivia's eyes again. She was too choked up to speak so she just embraced Kathleen.

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure." Olivia smiled.

"Can I help plan your wedding?" Kathleen asked bluntly, smiling widely.

"Kinda jumping the gun there aren't you? I don't even think that's on your Dad's mind yet."

"Maybe not right now, but he will. I know he will." Kathleen declared confidently. "And when he does, I get dibs on being your right hand for the planning."

Olivia laughed helplessly at Kathleen's supreme confidence in her statement. "Okay, Kathleen. You got it. If and when the time comes."

"Cool!" Kathleen exclaimed.

"No problem."

"Liv, can I touch your belly?"

"Of course."

Slowly, Kathleen put her hand on top of her small baby bump and started to slide her hand over it. "Hi there. I'm your big sister. You take care in there okay? Don't give your mommy too much of a hard time, you hear?" Kathleen looked up at Olivia and addressed her then. "I can't wait, Liv."

"Me too, Kathleen. Me too."

"So you mean, we're going to have a new brother or sister?" Lizzie clarified, looking straight at her Dad.

The day had finally come. Kathy had gone to the visitor's cafeteria while Elliot talked to the twins. He had asked Kathy if he could break the news to them about Liv and the baby in private and Kathy had grudgingly agreed.

"Yeah, you are." Elliot answered a bit nervously. He looked at her then at Dickie. "I hope you guys are okay with that. Especially you, Dickie. I know you've always kinda had a crush on her."

Dickie blushed but then laughed. "All I can say Dad is, way to go!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Dad we aren't blind you know. I see how you look at her and how she looks at you."

"Dickie's right. We see how you drool over Olivia." Lizzie chimed in.

Elliot laughed. "Well I'm glad you guys are okay with it. Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me."

Dickie and Lizzie exchanged glances then Lizzie spoke up again. "Dad, we just want you to be happy. And you weren't happy with Mom. We want Mom to be happy too. And unfortunately, you guys don't make each other happy anymore."

"Come here you two." Elliot stretched out his arms and the twins came running into them, hugging their father. "I love you two, so much."

"We love you too, Dad." Lizzie replied.

"Yeah,we do. But you're kinda suffocating us right now, Dad." Dickie said.

"Oops, sorry guys." Elliot released them but still held them by the shoulders.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yeah, Dickie?"

"Make things right with Mom too, okay?"

He gazed at his twins wondering how they got to be so smart and so grown up. He nodded. "I will guys. That's why I asked her here."

"Thanks." Lizzie said, her voice catching a little.

"Of course, Lizzie. She's your mother. She gave me you guys and for that alone, I will always love her. She'll always have a special place in my heart. And that is why I want to fix things with her. So wish me luck?"

"Good luck, Dad. Go gentle on her, okay?" Dickie advised.

"I will son."

"Well, we better get going. You said 15 minutes right?" Dickie said.

"Yeah, sorry guys."

"Dad, just get better and work it out with Mom okay?"

"Okay. And you guys can visit Olivia if you want. Like I said, Maureen is staying with her."

"We will Dad!" Lizzie promised.

After one last hug and goodbye, the twins now took their turn at waiting and went to wait in the lobby. In the meantime, Elliot went to get Kathy and they proceeded to Dr. Gardner's office for their joint therapy session.

Dr. Gardner looked at Kathy and extending his hand, greeted her warmly. "It's good to meet you, Kathy, can I call you Kathy? "

"Kathy is fine. Though I'm technically still Mrs. Stabler till our divorce is granted in a couple of months, I honestly don't think that's appropriate anymore. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances, Dr. Gardner then I'd be able to genuinely say it's good to meet you too. Unfortunately, it really isn't the case today. " Kathy replied, a tight smile on her face, but accepting his handshake anyway.

"Understood. This is not easy. But I am happy you agreed to come." He paused and then continued. "Anyway, please sit down." Dr. Gardner indicated the one of the chairs. He had positioned them in a sort of semi triangle. Kathy and Elliot sat next to each other while he was on the other side, in the middle facing them. There were no tables in between them, just chairs.

Kathy and Elliot were clearly uncomfortable with each other and Kathy also seemed to give a resentful vibe. Of course, Dr. Gardner knew that this was all understandable. He wasn't here to reconcile them, but to help them move on. Kathy, he knew was assuming he was on Elliot's side. So right then and there, he decided to straighten her out.

"Kathy, let me be straight here. You probably think I'm on Elliot's side. And I am in the sense that I will do everything in my power to help him. But this session is not about taking sides. It's not about reconciliation in the very sense of the word. It is about moving on. And in order for Elliot and yourself to actually move on, you need to at resolve your pasts. It's not easy but it's something necessary. "

Kathy sighed. The sigh was a defeated one in Elliot's opinion that got on his nerves, but he restrained himself from making a snarky remark because he didn't want to start their session off badly. So, he just kept silent while Kathy said, "Thank you for the Dr. Gardner. I understand. I just don't want to get hurt any more than I have been." Her voice was choked, her eyes downcast.

Her words went straight to Elliot's heart and his resentment faded. Just because he was no longer in love with her, that didn't mean he didn't care about Kathy. Of course, he did. She was the mother of his first 5 children. Not being able to restrain himself anymore, Elliot spoke up in a surprisingly gentle voice that made Kathy look at him in surprise. "Kathy, I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you feel I wasted your life, your efforts, your love. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I know words and an hour can't possibly make up for all the mistakes I made but I hope it's a start."

"You hurt me a lot, Elliot. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. I'm still hurting. Especially about Olivia. I still feel really angry about her stealing you away from me." Kathy replied, her emotions evident.

At her words, Elliot sighed impatiently. He never liked it when they were still together when Kathy implied that Olivia was hogging him or that he was choosing Olivia over her and his family. And he still didn't like it now. In fact, now that they weren't together, it grated on Elliot worse. Trying to keep his temper in check, he replied, "She didn't steal me away from you." Elliot made an effort to keep his tone even but a vein was pulsating on his forehead, signaling his annoyance.

"Yes, she did!" Kathy exclaimed, her face flushing.

Dr. Gardner interrupted them then before things could escalate. "Okay, Kathy, Elliot this is a dialogue. We are not here to accuse or to shout at each other. We are here to listen and understand. Elliot I think you should hear out Kathy. You may not like what she has to say, but those are her feelings. And whether those feelings are warranted and whether or not you agree with them, they're still her feelings which she has a perfect right to. After you hear her out, then Kathy can hear you out. I know it's hard, but let's see you try to hear each other out. Okay?"

Kathy and Elliot looked at him then at each other before both nodding their heads in agreement.

"Good. So Kathy, why don't you continue with what you're saying. Elliot, please listen to her. Okay? And Kathy, when you're done and it's Elliot's turn - please listen to him too. Remember this is a dialogue not a verbal war with each other."

"Okay, Dr. Gardner." Elliot replied.

Kathy nodded as well, conceding.

"Good. So Kathy, continue please."

Kathy turned back to Elliot and spoke again. "I really do feel that she stole you away from me. She may not have intended it, but I feel in the end that's what she did. And what's worse you allowed yourself to be stolen." She paused and looked at Elliot waiting for his response.

"Elliot?" Dr. Gardner prompted him.

"Oh, Kathy, what can I say? That isn't true. I'm sorry you see it that way. This really isn't about Liv, this is about you and me. We got married too young. We tried to do the right thing. Not just by getting married and making sure that Maureen was legitimate. But all throughout the 20 years we were together we always tried to do the right thing for each other, for our kids. But we never did the right thing for ourselves. We haven't been happy for a long time Kathy and yet, we never realized it. You realize how fucked up that is? How can you not realize you weren't happy?"

Elliot and Kathy just stared each other for a few moments before Kathy spoke up again. "I just feel Elliot that the reason we never realized that is because you were never home. You were always at work. You were always with Olivia. You spent more time with her. And when you were home, you never want to talk about your day. And I really hated the fact that there was a part of you I never knew because you never allowed me to know it."

"I was trying to protect you! You know what SVU works against! Everyday I get scared for our kids because of what I see. As parents we already worry too much as it is and if you knew what I went through and saw at work all day every day, well I don't think you'd rest a single minute."

"Still. I wish you had shared. Do you know how many times I felt like I was in a bigamous relationship? You had one wife at home and one at the office. And in my head, it was obvious which one you preferred."

Elliot sighed and Dr. Gardner could see he was getting impatient again. But he was proud when Elliot reined his annoyance in again. "Okay you seem to want to talk about Olivia, so let's talk about Olivia."

"Okay." Her voice was a whisper.

Elliot scooted his chair closer to Kathy and then he took her hand, squeezed it before releasing it. "Kathy, look at me okay?"

Kathy met his blue eyed gaze, her eyes already damp with tears, but she held her gaze steady.

"Good." Elliot said. "I want you to know, I never did anything with Olivia until that night with Jenna. I promise you, I swear to you, I never ever did anything with her. I did not "choose" her over you. I did not go looking for something better. IT FOUND ME. Just like I was clueless with my unhappiness in our marriage, I was clueless in my happiness when I was with her. She never did anything, Kathy, except to be there for me as a partner, as a friend. Hell, Kath, she was even there for you, for Kathleen, for Dickie, I'm sure you'd agree with me."

Kathy was crying now. She tried to control her sobs but she couldn't hold back anymore. Elliot looked at her helplessly and looked at Dr. Gardner who gave him a look that clearly said, 'let her cry". And so he did.

After a few minutes, Kathy's cries subsided until they were all but sniffles. Dr. Gardner asked her gently then, "Feel better, Kathy?"

Kathy nodded silently, wiping her tears hastily.

"Just let us know when you're ready to continue." Dr. Gardner said.

Kathy took a few deep breaths and then answered, "I'm ready."

Dr. Gardner looked at Elliot again and nodded. Elliot then spoke up again, "Kathy, the one thing I did wrong with Olivia however is to sleep with her that night with Jenna. While I know why I did it, it still isn't right. You were right in what you said when I came home, it was understandable to run to her for comfort but I should not have slept with her. I'm sorry Kathy. I'm sorry for everything. But I want you to be happy, Kath. And you're not gonna find that with me. We tried, but we grew up and we fell out of love. I know you're no longer in love with me too but I understand the pain and sadness too. Heck Kathy, we were married for more than 20 years. That means something. And it still does, but not in the same way."

Elliot fully expected Kathy to counter his words but he was pleasantly surprised with how she responded. She gave him a small, sad smile. "Thank you for the apology Elliot. I really appreciate it."

"You deserved one." Elliot told her, giving her a small smile too.

"I'm going to miss you, you know?" Kathy confessed.

"I know. I'm going to miss you, too. But we have to move on. "

"When did you fall in love with her Elliot? Why did you fall in love with her? Was it something that she had that I didn't? "

"Does it matter?" Elliot asked.

"It does to me. I mean I just want to know it was something she did – albeit not intentionally - and not something I did wrong to make you feel that way. Do you understand?"

Elliot nodded slowly before replying. "I don't know Kathy. I don't know when I fell in love with her. I honestly don't. It was gradual. It was because of little things. The way we communicated without a word. The way we finished each other's sentences. The way she helped us. The way she called me "El" instead of Elliot and many more. I only realized all of this recently. I'm sorry Kathy."

Kathy looked like she was about to cry again. Her voice was choked again when she spoke. "I hope I'll also find that. I'm scared, Elliot. I'm scared that by letting you go, I'm setting myself up to be alone for the rest of my life."

"Oh, Kathy, sweetheart, have you looked at yourself in the mirror. You're gorgeous. You're blonde, smart and gorgeous. I don't think I could have ever signed the divorce papers if I didn't believe 100% you'll be okay."

"You're just saying to make me feel better."

"No, I'm not. I promise you I'm not."

"Okay." Kathy replied. "I'm sorry for not trusting you for all of these years. It was just hard to see you with Olivia. And I think the reason that it was so hard for me was because I saw you falling for her. And deep down I knew you were better off with her than with me. But I refused to admit it. Because to admit it would be to let you walk out of my life."

"Kathy, I'll never be out of your life. We have 5 beautiful children. You're their mom. We will always be part of each other's lives. Although, in a different way now."

"Are you happy now, Elliot?" Kathy asked him.

"Getting there, Kathy. As soon as I'm out of here, I think I will be. I really do wish for you the same happiness."

"Well Maureen did say, she'll help me find a date."

For the first time that afternoon, there was a lighter feeling between them. Elliot chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure she will. Don't settle this time, Kathy, okay?"

"I never felt I was settling with you."

"Neither did I." Elliot admitted.

"However, we were just barely 18 when we got married, so what would we know about settling, right?" Kathy said, smiling.

"True." Elliot agreed. He paused and then said, "I know it will take a long time, but I do hope you forgive Olivia for that night too. And I hope one day you'll be okay with her again."

"Me too, Elliot. But right now, everything is still too raw, you know?"

"I know. I don't expect you to be suddenly best friends with her, but I just hope you can be okay with her in the future."

"Me, too, Elliot. Me too."

There was another pause and the two of them looked at each other. Taking advantage of the break in the conversation, Dr. Gardner spoke up. "Well Kathy and Elliot that's the hour. Thank you for coming Kathy. Maybe the next time, we can bring the kids? Maybe in another 2 weeks? I'm proud of both of you. You made a lot of progress today."

"No problem, Dr. Gardner. Just let us know when you want us back. I actually do feel a lot better. For the first time in about 5 months, I don't feel like the weight of the word is on my shoulders." Kathy admitted.

"Thanks for the visit Kathy." Elliot said.

"You're welcome."

Later that night, Elliot was on the phone with Olivia. "Hey babe, how's the baby and its mommy?"

"We're good." Olivia told him. "How did things go with Kathy? Was it hard?"

"Yeah, it was. But can I tell you about it tomorrow? I'm sorry Liv, it was a bit emotionally draining and no I'm not running away from you, but I just need a break from it tonight. Can I just tell you all about it tomorrow? Don't worry, it went well."

"No problem, I understand."

"I love you, Liv."

"I love you, El. I miss you so much."

"I miss you more." Elliot countered, a smile in his voice.

Olivia chuckled and then replied, "Well, why don't you get some rest, okay? We'll talk extra-long tomorrow. Sleep well and dream of me."

"Sounds like a plan, Liv. Take care. I love you and I always dream of you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye, till tomorrow night."

With those words, they ended the call.

Up next, Olivia has another check-up and it's her turn to visit Elliot.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_**Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**Reading and reviewing would be highly appreciated! **_

Two weeks later…

"So, Doc, how's everything?" Olivia asked her OB GYN, Dr. Chin. She just had an ultrasound and a check up and she was now in her office anxiously awaiting her diagnosis. Maureen was also there with her.

Dr. Chin looked at Olivia and broke into a smile. "Good news, Olivia. It looks like your partial placenta previa is gone. You can officially end your bed rest but I beg of you to take it easy still. Again, given that you're above 40, you're still in the high risk end.

Olivia grinned from ear to ear at the news and Maureen reached over and squeezed her hand in delight. Bursting with joy, Maureen blurted out, "Does that mean she can visit my Dad in Connecticut?"

Dr. Chin looked at Maureen then at Olivia who had such a hopeful look on her face. It was all Dr. Chin could do from laughing out loud – Olivia's face screamed "I'm in love" to her. "Yeah, BUT! Olivia, no rough sex…"

"EEEW!" Maureen suddenly interjected, covering her ears. "I don't want to hear this. Let me step out okay. Liv, I'll be right outside when you're done. Let me know everything except this part later."

Olivia laughed and replied, "Okay, Mo thanks. And don't worry I will."

Maureen quickly left the doctor's office and as soon as they knew she was out of earshot, Dr. Chin continued what she had been saying. "So, as I was saying, no rough sex. Too much movement can bring about premature labor. So if you're going to engage in sex, Olivia, I suggest you talk to him and explain that right now it has to be very gentle. Not banning you from it, as I know a pregnant woman's hormones can really make one's libido rise. But I just caution you to do it slowly and gently. Okay?"

Olivia's cheeks turned red at the doctor's statement but she nodded. She knew she was only telling the truth. "Alright, doc."

"Now, I actually saw the sex of this baby in the ultrasound. Do you want to know?"

Olivia shook her head and replied, "I told my boyfriend that we'd like to be able to find out together. So if you could hold off telling me when he's home, that'd be great."

"Alright, Olivia, your call."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Anyway, well basically that's it. Your weight is in normal range. The baby's heartbeat is strong. It's growing normally. Just keep taking your prenatals, watch what you eat and make sure that nothing depresses you. You can play music for your baby too. Studies show that babies in the womb also respond to music – but classical music. "

"Alright, Dr. Chin. Thank you so much for the good news."

"Olivia, when a patient obeys my instructions it's very rare that I don't get good news. I know you want this baby, Olivia and just because you're in the high risk category doesn't mean bad news. You just have to be a little more careful."

"I know Doc. My boyfriend's ex wife was also past 40 when she had her last kid. So don't worry, I'm not worried."

"Good, you can't stress yourself out, you know?"

"I won't. Anyway, when do I see you again?"

"Let's see you're 15 weeks now? So come back to me at 18 weeks and we shall do another check up okay? Just give my assistant a call once you're firm on your schedule, okay?"

"Okay, doc. I'll do that on my way out."

"Great, Olivia. See you then."

"Thanks."

Two days later…

It was a Friday evening and Maureen had told Olivia she would be coming home late because she had a date with her boyfriend. Olivia told her not to worry and to just have fun.

It was almost 7 pm and Olivia had just cooked some pasta for herself when suddenly she heard the door to her apartment being opened. Thinking it was Maureen, she called out from the kitchen, "Mo? I thought you had a date. I'm in the kitchen!"

She heard footsteps going into the direction of the kitchen but when she saw who it was she gasped. "El?"

"Hey you." He smiled tenderly, taking in the sight of her.

"What? How? Oh my God!" Olivia was almost incoherent with surprise and happiness.

Chuckling, Elliot crossed over to where she was and crashed his lips onto hers in a slow tender kiss. Olivia kissed him back and moaned softly in his arms.

After several long minutes of kissing, Elliot reluctantly pulled away. He looked into her eyes and told her, "I've missed you. I love you, Liv."

"Ditto. Me, too." Olivia replied, overwhelmed with emotion that she was barely able to speak.

Elliot took her plate of pasta from the kitchen counter and led the way to the living room. Olivia still somewhat in shock, followed him in silence.

Elliot put the plate down on the living room table. He settled Olivia onto the couch then sat beside her encircling her with his strong arms. He then put his hand on her belly that was beginning to grow and rubbed it gently.

Olivia turned her face upwards towards him and smiled, asking, "Is this a dream? You're here! But it hasn't been 90 days!"

"I know, but I've been granted furlough for tonight so to speak. I have to be back in Connecticut by 1:30 am though so I have to leave by at the latest 10:30 tonight."

"But El, you didn't have to do this! I'm going to visit you next week, remember?"

"You didn't want to see me?" Elliot asked, looking slightly hurt at her words.

"Of course I want to see you! I want to see you all the time. But I just want you to focus on your therapy so that you get home quick."

Elliot chuckled. "Liv, you never change. You always think of others first and that's why I did this. Besides, Dr. Gardner has told me I've made great strides so he was open to my going to the city for a few hours to visit you."

"Really? That's great, El."

"So how's our baby?" Elliot asked, stroking her belly again.

"Our baby's great." Olivia told him.

"And how's my other baby? The grown one?" Elliot asked, caressing her cheek.

Olivia met his blue eyed gaze and replied, "I'm good. Better now that you're here and that you're getting better."

"I missed you so much, Liv."

Instead of replying, Olivia leaned forward and kissed him. Then she stood up and pulled him to the bedroom. No words were said. Instead, Elliot simply followed her. Once they were inside, Olivia turned to Elliot and pulled his shirt up. His pants came down next. She was about to divest him of his boxer briefs as well when Elliot put his hands on her wrists and asked, "Are you sure about this, Liv? Remember what the doctor said."

"Yeah, she said we need to go gently. And don't worry if I feel anything out of the ordinary, I will let you know. But I've missed you El and I want to make love to you."

Elliot moaned at her words and didn't protest further when she finally pushed his boxer briefs down releasing his hard shaft.

Olivia then tugged at her tank top and at her sweats and within seconds she was naked. For the first time, Elliot could see her baby bump. It wasn't big yet, but it was now evident. And to him she looked even more sexy from that pregnancy glow. Her breasts already naturally full, were bigger as well, her nipples already standing in attention and they've only kissed.

"Baby," Elliot told her, "I think we may have to do this from behind. I don't want to hit your stomach accidentally. Or you can be on top."

"Sssh…El…let's not plan it yet. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Kiss me." Olivia told him.

Elliot obeyed and deliberately set the pace with the kiss. He kissed her slowly, deliberately, gently without any hurry. Their tongues were seeking each other but they did so as if in a slow intoxicating dance. Then gently tearing his mouth from hers, he started to plant butterfly soft kisses down to her neck then to her breasts. He licked her nipples slowly and sucked on them gently. He needn't do it hard because her nipples were now so sensitive that gentlest and softest suckling made her tingle all the way down to her pussy.

After paying homage to her breasts, Elliot made his way down to her dripping pussy. It was already more of a challenge to eat her out because of the baby bump but he managed. He put a pillow under her butt elevating her which allowed him to plunge her tongue into her wet, throbbing and aching pussy.

But again, he did all this gently. Never hurrying, slowly, softly, tenderly. His usual favorite motion of plunging two fingers into her pussy, he chose to forego, scared that it might become too much. He found her clit and licked at it, sending waves of pleasure, making her even more wet. She pushed her pussy against his face and put her hand behind the back of his head. How she loved it when he ate her out. But Elliot seeing that Olivia was going faster, tore his lips from her core. He moved up and kissed her. She could still taste herself on his lips and she was dying to be eaten out again, but she knew why he did it.

Finally, Olivia couldn't stand it anymore and from the tenseness of Elliot's body and muscles she knew he was on the brink too. Elliot looked at her then and without a word he knew that she wanted him now and he was going to grant her what she wanted.

"Liv, I want to see your face while I'm inside you, can you be on top this time? Please? It's been so long and I just want us to see each other while we make love and come."

Smiling softly, Olivia nodded. Elliot laid back on the bed and then holding Olivia, he helped her position herself just right on top of him. She gazed at him as she took hold of his hard cock with her hand and guided him inside her. Never breaking eye contact, Olivia slowly impaled herself on his cock, working him inside her inch by inch. Finally he was all the way in and their breaths caught. In each other's eyes they saw so much love that it scared them both for a moment. But only for a moment. And just as suddenly their fear vanished. Elliot took Olivia's hand's in his, and she started moving up and down his shaft slowly. The slowness and gentleness of her movements, almost made Elliot lose control right then and there. But he held on. Olivia rode him, still with gentle motions. But maybe it was the fact that they hadn't done this in so long or that the gentleness was brought by their love for each other and their baby, but whatever it was, the emotions that began swirling inside them was so intense that both had unshed tears in their eyes.

Olivia began to ride him a little faster but still slow compared to their usual pace. She was so wet and tight. Elliot could feel every up and down motion she made and he could feel her every quiver. Olivia grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts and she leaned back slightly and continued her slightly faster motion. Her upper part of her lips was dotted with perspiration and Elliot was moaning under her. "Christ, Liv." He remarked. His words were both a pained and pleasured groan.

"God, Elliot. I've missed this. Fuck babe, I'm so near. Rub my clit, please."

"Are you sure?"

Feverishly, Olivia nodded. Elliot dropped one hand in between them and began to rub he clit at the same pace as she was riding him. Only a few seconds passed and then suddenly, a low growl came out of Olivia. "Elliot, shit. I'm gonna cum." The moment she said that, Elliot felt her clamp down on him and instead of her preferred vigorous up and down motion when she was on top during an orgasm, she opted to grind her pussy against him.

The grinding, that hot skin against his hot skin drove Elliot to his own orgasm. He grabbed Olivia's face, cradled in his arms and whispered hotly, "Liv, baby, I'm gonna cum too. Oh fuck! Yeah! I'm coming baby!" Elliot exclaimed. "Shit, Liv! I love you…that's so good…oh yeah!" As he bucked up against her, Olivia could feel his sperm spilling into her then trickling down her thighs mingling with her wetness. She continued to grind her pussy against him until she felt him stop.

She wanted to collapse against him but she was scared to position herself on her stomach so reluctantly, she got up, making him pull out of her. Elliot groaned at the feeling of no longer being inside her, but he understood.

"Wow!" Elliot exclaimed.

"I know. That was definitely a wow."

"I love you, Liv. I love you baby Benson-Stabler." Elliot cooed, looking at her then rubbing her baby bump.

"We love you too, daddy." Olivia told him.

"I'm glad Dr. Gardner allowed me to go here. At least now I'll have more inspiration to make sure I get out of there soon. "

"Well just over a month to go, Elliot."

"I know but still, I want to be with you already."

Olivia laughed. "Me too, but just concentrate on getting better, okay?"

"Okay."

"By the way how did you get here?"

"Maureen."

"She picked you up?"

"Yup and she'll take me back later too."

"Can I come with you?"

"No. I mean don't get me wrong, Liv. I want you to come but I want to be on the safe side. You're coming up on Tuesday. I don't want to put too much strain on you. I'm already here right now and you'll be going on Tuesday and like you said in a month's time, I'll be home. So don't be mad okay?"

Olivia gave a mock pout and then laughed. "Alright, El. But Mo shouldn't drive that late back to here."

"She isn't. Her boyfriend and her will be staying the night. But they'll bring Kathleen over when they pick me up, so you won't be alone." Elliot told her.

Olivia chuckled. "You think of everything don't you?"

"Of course."

"Okay, I'm fine with all of that. In onecondition."

Elliot eyed her warily and asked, "And what's that?"

"Well actually, two conditions. One is that I need to eat right now and two after we eat and before Mo and company arrive here, you need to make love to me one more time." Olivia requested, looking at him somewhat shyly.

Elliot gave a shout of laughter then pulling her close, replied, "Liv, you got yourself a deal."

He kissed her on the forehead and then laughing together they stood up still naked and proceeded to the living room to eat dinner.

_**Sorry for the late update. Holidays can be such a busy time. Plus clients from work won't allow me to be fully on vacation! ARGH! **_

_**Next up, Olivia goes to Connecticut and takes her turn with Dr. Gardner. I hope everyone enjoyed the not so graphic smut here. I'm hoping it somewhat makes up for the previous smut-less chapters! **_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_**A/N: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine. The song, "I'd Rather" isn't mine either. It is by sung my Luther Vandross and copyrighted as such. **_

Four days later….

"You know the only thing I'm scared of, Dr. Gardner?" Olivia sat with Elliot and Dr. Gardner in Hartford Center. Elliot held Olivia's hand as they talked to the psychiatrist about their 12 year partnership, their friendship and their present relationship and how Olivia could help Elliot heal from the wounds of his actions.

"What is that Olivia?" Dr. Gardner asked her gently.

"Yeah, Liv, what is it?" Elliot interjected, looking anxious.

"I'm scared to be this happy." She admitted, looking at the doctor then looking at Elliot an uncertain smile on her face. "It's just that I don't I've ever been this happy."

Elliot broke into a wide smile. "Whew." Elliot's relief was clear as he spoke. "You had a me scared there for a second."

"Elliot, I'm scared. I'm scared that this is too good to be true."

"Baby, too good to be true would have been me not being here, me not having shot Jenna, me having the guts to leave Kathy a long time ago and tell you exactly what I feel about you. That would have been too good to be true. This isn't too good to be true, Liv. It's just good and it's just true. I promise you. "

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked him, anxiety still plainly heard in her tone. "Because in a few weeks I'm going to be huge and you might think, oh my God, what a heffer! What did I ever see in her? "

Elliot chuckled. "Liv, those are your hormones talking again. You forget I went through 4 pregnancies with Kathy and I didn't leave her even when she was huge. I love you, no matter what. Okay? It took me almost 13 years to get things right with you, I will not just say forget it because of baby weight!"

Olivia was silent but she held on to Elliot's hand. As her silence lengthened, Elliot turned to Dr. Gardner and asked for his help. "Doc help me out here, will ya?"

Dr. Gardner nodded and spoke up. "Olivia, can you look at me?"

Olivia obeyed but her eyes were clearly wary.

"Good. Can I ask you? Do you trust Elliot?"

"Of course!" The words came bursting out of her mouth. There was no hesitation at all in her reply.

Dr. Garner smiled. "I believe you. There was no hesitation whatsoever in your answer."

Olivia looked at Elliot and Elliot met her gaze. "Of course I do trust him. I'd trust him with my life. We both do."

Elliot nodded in agreement and agreed. "Yeah, that's the truth. We've had each other's back since the first day we met."

"So, Olivia, if you do trust Elliot to that extent, then why are you scared?"

Olivia looked down and then replied in a soft voice, "Because I don't trust myself."

"Why?"

"Because every relationship I've had with a man has always ended."

"Elliot's still here. It's been what 13 years? That's more than most marriages nowadays. This relationship hasn't ended." Dr. Gardner pointed out.

"And it never will." Elliot told her with conviction.

"You promise? You promise you won't let me run away?" Olivia asked Elliot, never breaking eye contact with him.

"I promise as long as you promise you won't let me run away too." Elliot bargained.

Olivia broke into a smile finally. "That's a deal , Stabler."

"Good, let's shake on it." Elliot replied, extending his hand.

Laughing now, Olivia accept his hand and gave it a firm shake. "I love you, El." The words came out of her mouth spontaneously and she blushed, suddenly remembering Dr. Gardner's presence.

"I love you too, Liv always."

"Well, I can see that you two have a good foundation and though most of the time in this program we encourage our patients not to pursue new relationships first, your case is different. 13 years can be hardly called new and though your relationship changed recently, I don't think it's a bad change. From all you've both told me, I think you were each other's anchors for all of these years. Elliot you gave Olivia stability and Olivia you gave Elliot sanity and an equal companion and friend. I honestly think that if you weren't around and what happened had happened, Elliot would be worse off. I met his ex wife and though she's a nice and lovely woman, I see the difference. There are just some things that certain people need that can only be given to them by certain people. Anyway, basically, what I'm saying is that I'm glad Elliot has you, Olivia. I believe you will be his strength."

"Thanks, Dr. Gardner. He's also my strength. "

Elliot smiled at Olivia and squeezed her hand again. She returned the squeeze and he put her hand to his lips, kissing it.

"Good, good. Anyway, that's the hour, Olivia. Thank you so much for coming in to visit Elliot and to join this therapy session with him. I can confidently say he's doing very well and I'm happy for that."

"That's great to hear, Doctor. I really do hope he'll be home with me and his children soon."

"Me too, Olivia. We'll see but he's making major progress and as long as he keeps this up, I don't see why he won't go home on schedule."

"Great!"

"Well, it was nice to meet you Olivia. Again, thank you for coming."

"You're welcome, Doctor. Anything for Elliot."

"Take care of that baby, you hear?"

"I will. We will."

With one last handshake with the doctor, Elliot and Olivia walked out the doctor's room.

Another two and a half weeks later

It was another Friday night and Olivia whom by now was nearly 5 months along was looking forward to a relaxing evening with Maureen, an old movie on the DVD player and some pizza. Lately she had been craving pizza with olives and mushrooms and so that's what they were getting tonight.

It was nearly 8 pm when she got home because she had gotten stuck on Friday Manhattan traffic. Thankfully, even though her building was a walk up and her floor was on the fourth floor, the building super allowed her to take the service elevator because she was pregnant. It wasn't the greatest elevator but for someone pregnant it was heaven compared to having to go up four floors.

When she got to her apartment door, she could hear music from the inside. It was her favorite mixed CD that was being played. At the moment the song that she was hearing was by Luther Vandross called "I'd Rather". She loved that song as it always reminded her of Elliot and she felt that it almost described to a T what they've been through and how they are now.

_**I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else**_

_**I'd rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself**_

_**I'd rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart**_

_**I'd rather have the one who holds my heart**_

Smiling, she pushed the door open and gasped at the sight that met her. Her apartment was dim and was lit by candles and dim lamps. Pink and red rose petals were strewn on the floor. Standing in front of her holding three long stemmed red roses was Elliot, smiling.

"Hi baby." His voice was soft and happy as he gazed at her.

Olivia's mouth dropped open and she could not move. She couldn't speak either. Seeing this, Elliot walked over to her in a couple of strides, reached behind her and closed the door. Then, he gave her the roses which she mutely accepted.

Just then, Olivia shook her head as if to clear it then asked, "What are you doing here?"

A wide grin still on his face, Elliot replied, "Baby, I'm home for good. Dr. Gardner released me early. He said I was doing well that I can continue my therapy in an outpatient basis with either Skoda or Huang. I'm back."

Tears of joy filled Olivia's eyes as she embraced Elliot tightly. "Oh my God. Really? I missed you so much."

"I missed you more, Liv. How's baby Benson-Stabler?"

"Behaving." Olivia told him.

"That's good! Considering how hard headed both of his or her parents are, that's amazing."

Olivia chuckled. "That's true. Wait do your kids know you're back."

"Yeah, I passed by the house and visited Eli, Lizzie and Dickie on my way here. Kathleen I called – she actually is out of town for the weekend with her friends and Maureen, well Maureen saw me when I got here."

"Wait? Did you kick her out? I mean she was expecting to have another two weeks here. She can't go back to her old apartment yet till then because she sublet it."

"Yup, I kicked her out!"

"Elliot! Where will she stay?"

"She went to stay with Kathy. Don't worry, she's fine with it. In fact, she insisted."

"Are you sure? I hate to do that to her." Olivia looked worried.

"Liv, it's okay. "

"Still I should call her and thank her for all she did."

"Don't worry, we can do something nice for her later. Right now, I just want it to be you and me. Call me selfish but it's been way too long since I was alone with you." Elliot admitted, holding her hand.

"You know, we're still by the door." Olivia told him, snickering.

Elliot snickered back and then his expression softening, he led Olivia to the sofa. There they sat down and Elliot simply encircled her with his arms and pulled her to him. One hand was across her chest and the other reached down and rubbed her already swollen belly.

Olivia moaned at his touch. She craned her neck, looking up at him and kissed him. Elliot kissed her back. He opened his mouth to hers and their tongues met, playing with each other.

Before their kisses got too urgent, Elliot reluctantly pulled away. Olivia looked confused and asked in a slightly hurt tone, "What's wrong, El?"

Elliot shook his head and replied, "Nothing, but I just wanted to tell you and give you something before we reached a point of no return and I know we will because well because I am dying to make love to you Olivia Benson. "

Olivia chuckled. "Well, okay good. We're of the same mind then."

Elliot gave a shout of laughter and then quickly kissed her on the lips. "Yes we are."

"So what is it?" Olivia asked.

Elliot sobered then. His expression became serious but tender at the same time. Olivia's heart began to beat a little more quickly. Elliot's sapphire eyes met her chocolate ones as he spoke up and spoke from his heart. "Liv, I love you. And I know we've been through a lot these past several months and Dr. Gardner has told both of us that we have to take things day by day and we can't make any big moves yet but I know what I want and I want you. I have for such a long time."

"I want you too, El. And I have almost from the day we met."

"Same here, so I'm hoping you'll agree with me that this isn't too big a move."

"What, El?" Olivia's lips went a bit dry. She could tell that Elliot meant every word he said and it scared her a little.

Elliot pulled something out of his jeans pocket but kept it hidden in his hand at first and spoke again. "Liv, I don't want you to get excited, but I wanted to give you this." He opened his palm and in it lay a white gold ring – it was two bands braided together almost like the infinity symbol made over and over again and shaped into a circle.

Olivia gasped when she saw it and she looked at Elliot with both happiness and fear in her eyes. "El?"

"This is a promise ring. It's a promise to you that one day I will ask you properly and get engaged to your properly so that we can make it official. Please know how badly I wish I could give you an engagement ring instead right now, but I need to make sure I'm okay first. I want you to be sure too. I mean like I said and we both know, it's been a crazy few months. We need to make sure we're okay first. But I have no doubt in my love for you and in yours for me. I know, I just know that we will make it, Liv. But when we do get engaged, I want to do it right and make it more special than this. So I hope for right now, this is okay. " Elliot took her left hand and slid the ring on her finger. "I promise to love you forever Liv."

Olivia's eyes glistened with tears. "Oh El, thank you. I promise to love you forever too. I promise I am yours always. And I don't need a ring or a wedding to let you know that or promise you that. I have been yours for a long time."

"I know baby, but still call me old fashioned, I want it to do it right. You deserve an engagement ring. You deserve a wedding. You deserve everthing Liv. God, sometimes I wonder if I even deserve you. I feel like I don't deserve to have you love me."

"Don't say that, El. You do deserve me and I deserve you. I love you. Thank you for the promise ring. It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful Liv and I promise to love you and take care of you and our baby forever."

"I love you too."

Elliot and Olivia gazed at each other, their love for each other clearly seen in their eyes and on their expressions. They held hands as they faced each other while they sat on the sofa. Then softly, Olivia spoke up again and said, "El, make love to me please. "

Elliot nodded and without another word, they stood up making their way to their bedroom. And there, the two of them made love, slowly, gently but with all the intense passion and longing they had for each other, sealing their promise to love each other forever.

After they made love, they fell into each other's arms, sated, loved, smiles on their faces and truly happy for the first time in a long time.

_**Up next, Olivia and Elliot find out the sex of the baby and Kathy seeks Olivia out after the TRO is lifted and the two women have a heart to heart. **_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_**Author's note: Law & Order: SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick's Wolf's.**_

_**Hey guys so sorry for the lack of updates on this story. I needed a break from it. In any case, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it.**_

_**I've been working on a new story called, Crossroads. If you haven't read it yet, please do. It's a different take on what happens after Elliot shoots Jenna. And I have a new one shot up called Three Irish Catholic Men in a Pub. Hope you guys can read and review those too. In the meantime, here is the next chapter. **_

Three days later…

Olivia woke up to find Elliot cooking breakfast. "Hmm, that smells good." She remarked as she took in the smells of bacon frying and coffee perking.

"Good morning, beautiful." Elliot walked up to her, giving her a kiss on the lips.

"Ugh, I'm getting big." Olivia grimaced. She was almost 20 weeks by now and she was definitely bigger, her bump very much obvious.

"Are you excited to find out the gender of our baby today?" Elliot asked her.

"I am but at the same time, I really don't care if it's a boy or a girl, I just want it to be normal and healthy."

"I know baby, don't worry he or she will be."

Elliot's hand went to rub her belly and Olivia moaned softly. "Hmm that feels good."

Her hand reached for his crotch and she started stroking it over his sweat pants. She knew that he always goes commando when they're just at home. Elliot groaned in pleasure with her stroking but then gently pushed her hand away.

"Can we eat first? I need some food so that I can have the energy to ravage you."

"Are you actually saying no to sex with me?" Olivia gave him a mock pout but there was an amused glint in her eyes.

Elliot chuckled. He knew she wasn't upset. "Well…no. I'm just asking you to wait a bit. Come on baby, I made us a really nice breakfast and it won't taste good cold. And you know how we are when we start making love."

Olivia gave in and laughed. "Alright, stop it. Let's eat first."

"Then I'll have you for dessert." Elliot told her, giving her a lustful look.

"I'll hold you to that promise." Olivia said. She laughed and then sat down to eat the beautiful waffles, bacon and toast Elliot had made.

Half an hour later, they were done with breakfast and as Olivia brought the last plate to be washed to the sink, Elliot grabbed her from behind and started kissing her neck. Olivia dropped the plate she was holding on the sink with a loud clang.

Her breasts were larger now and very sensitive to touch. Elliot brushed her hair back and started kissing her neck, sucking on it, marking his territory. At the same time , his hands pushed the tops of her tank top down exposing her big, lactating breasts. He rolled her taut nipples with his fingers and pulled on them slightly, making Olivia whimper loudly.

"Oh GOD!" She moaned and she pushed against him, rotating her hips against his rigid cock.

"Let's go to the bedroom." Elliot whispered and he lifted her, carrying her to what was now their bedroom.

Once there, Elliot laid her gently on the bed and removed her tank top completely. He then bent down and started suckling on her left breast then her right breast. His hand moved down and found the mound in between her legs. Still with her sweats on, Elliot rubbed her wet heat through them.

Olivia moaned loudly. Her pussy was aching so much and she wanted Elliot in her now. "God, El, please. Please make love to me. I want you cock inside my pussy now. So wet baby. Please."

Elliot stood up briefly and pulled down his pants. His beautiful, big cock sprang free, standing rigidly at attention. Olivia's eyes gleamed at the sight of it and her mouth practically watered at the thought that in a few moments that beautiful thing would be inside her, making her writhe and scream in pleasure.

Elliot then slipped Olivia's pants off of her. Once they were off, he helped Olivia up then he laid down on the bed. Olivia straddled him and she lifted herself up, aligning her dripping pussy with his cock and slowly she lowered herself, making him enter her.

Elliot groaned loudly. "Shit! Fuck that feels so good. Especially when you do it that slowly, baby."

"You're so big! I love you cock inside me."

"You know how good it feels inside you? All warm, wet and tight, Liv?"

"Oh, Elliot, yeah baby. Come on thrust upward." Olivia placed her hand on his chest and she slowly began to move her hips and grind her pussy against him. Elliot in turn thrust upward with every grind she made.

The pleasure that they both felt was incredible. Olivia was so wet and tight, and it took a lot of focus on Elliot's part not to cum at once when he was inside her.

The picture of Olivia on top of him, with her larger breasts and her swollen belly all flushed as she rode him was so erotic, that Elliot couldn't help himself. "Shit, Liv, I'm gonna cum, baby." He spat. "Look at me, I want to look into your eyes when I cum."

Olivia gave in to his request and she looked down on him. Her eyes were glazed over with desire. She continued to grind her pussy against him and she reached behind her and pulled on his balls. Elliot practically screamed at her touch and he started to buck up, spurting his sperm inside her. "Fuck, Liv, oh God! That's fucking good! Yeah baby."

"Come El, give it to me. Yeah cum inside me just like that baby." Olivia whimpered and moaned. And then, "Shit, I'm coming too, baby. Ah, ah, ah!" Olivia ground her pussy against his still hard cock. It was a powerful orgasm and he could feel her walls quiver and clamping around his cock. Shit if she didn't stop soon, he'll be hard again. And it wasn't that he didn't want to make love with her again. But the doctor told her not to overdo the sex because of her delicate pregnancy.

Elliot grabbed her hips and tried to slow her down and was successful. Olivia's orgasm finally faded but she was still breathing hard as she sat up and pulled herself from on top of Elliot and collapsed in a heap next to him.

"Wow, baby that was incredible." Olivia breathed, her face flushed and her face breaking into a sated grin.

"It's always incredible with you, Liv." Elliot told her, turning to face her, while he rested his head on one hand.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not Liv, it's true."

"Well, it's true with you too."

"That's good to hear."

"I just wish we didn't have to be so careful about making love right now. I want to do everything with you Elliot."

He groaned at her words and said ruefully, "Can you not say things like that for now? Like you said, we have to be careful at the moment, for that little guy in your belly." He gently rubbed her baby bump again, and this time Olivia giggled at his touch.

A moment later she exclaimed, "Ooh!" She put her hand on her swollen baby and grimaced.

Elliot was worried at once. "Are you in pain? Are you okay?"

Olivia smiled and told, "I'm fine. The little bugger just kicked."

"Oh. Well kicking is good thing." Elliot told her.

"Ooh." Olivia exclaimed again. "Another kick. Active little guy our baby is."

"Speaking of our baby, we should start getting dressed. We have to be at Dr. Chin's in less than two hours and I still have to wash the dishes."

But instead of moving, Olivia and Elliot just stayed in bed. Both were too lazy to move, too sated and spent from making love.

Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door. Olivia groaned. "Who could it be this early in the morning?"

"You know it isn't that early right? It's like 930 am."

"Whatever." Olivia rolled her eyes laughing. "Anyway, can you please just get it and send them away whoever they are so we can get ready for our appointment."

Elliot jumped from their bed and quickly put on his sweat pants . "No problem, baby."

As he walked to get the door, Olivia, also got up from the bed and started making her way to the shower. However, she stopped in her tracks when she heard Elliot say loudly from the door, "What are you doing here?" His voice and tone weren't angry. But she could tell that whoever was there, he wasn't pleased to see them there.

She quickly put a robe on and called as she walked out, "El, honey, who is it?"

Elliot stepped to the side with a grim look on his face and revealed Kathy standing there.

"Kathy!"

"Hi Olivia. The TRO has been lifted and I'm not here to harass you or anything. I just want to talk to you. I'd really appreciate it if you could just give me 5 minutes of your time." Kathy requested.

Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances. Protectively Elliot stepped to stand beside Olivia and put his arm around her. "Kathy, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I mean Olivia is not supposed to get stressed."

"I promise you, I won't stress her. I just want to tell her something. In private, if possible."

"Kath – " Elliot started to speak again but Olivia cut him off with a look.

"El, it's okay."

He looked at Olivia and then nodded. "Thanks." Olivia told him, taking his hand in hers.

Inwardly, Kathy winced when she saw the interaction between them. She had never been able to stop Elliot with just a look. It hurt to see that maybe Olivia was indeed better for him than she ever was.

"So Kathy, you have 5 minutes but whatever you have to say to me, you need to say to Elliot too. Coz he's not going anywhere."

Kathy sighed and replied, "Fine."

"Why don't you come in?" Olivia invited.

Hesitantly, Kathy stepped into the apartment and followed Olivia as she led the way to the living room area. Once they were all seated, Olivia didn't waste any more time and went straight to the point. "So Kathy, what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

Kathy sighed and she glanced at her former husband who sat so close next to Olivia and held her hand. Olivia's pregnancy was progressing and her belly was already getting big adding to the reality that Elliot was moving on with another woman. Plus she was pretty sure that the two just made love not only because of their appearance but she didn't think it was her imagination, but they smelled of sex.

Elliot looked upset right now, but that moment when he opened the door, right before he realized it was her standing there, he had looked ecstatically happy and that really hurt.

"Kathy, we're waiting." Elliot said, pointedly looking at the clock on the wall of the living room.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Anyway, Olivia, I wanted to come by to apologize actually for the way I acted before. Maybe I had a right to be angry, but I shouldn't have done what I did. And I apologize for having let it get so out of hand that you needed to take out a restraining order."

"I appreciate that Kathy." Olivia replied. There was a moment of silence then Olivia told her, "Kathy, I owe you an apology too. It was wrong of me to sleep with Elliot when you were still married to him. I hope you know that I didn't plan it – neither of us did."

"Thank you, I needed to hear that. I know deep down neither of you meant it to happen. I mean Olivia, all these years you've helped our family more than you'll ever know and I know if you ever really meant to steal Elliot away, you wouldn't have done all that. But still, I'm glad you said that. Thank you."

"I know we'll probably never be close friends. But we are going to be in each other's lives like it or not. Elliot and I are about to have a baby and I do hope we can be at least civil."

"I hope so too, Olivia. Well, that's it. I just really wanted to say all of that in person."

"Thanks, Kathy."

Kathy just nodded and then stood up. "Well, I'm going to go."

"Okay." Olivia stood up with Elliot and they walked her to the door.

Just before she left, Kathy looked at Elliot then back at Olivia. Then with a sad smile she said, "Olivia, take care of him for me, will you?"

Olivia smiled at the blonde in front of her and replied, "I will, Kathy. I promise."

At that, Kathy gave Elliot one last sad look before walking away.

Just before 12 noon, Olivia was at the ultrasound room with Dr. Chin. For the first time, Elliot was with her and she proudly introduced him to her OB GYN.

"So you're the famous Elliot Stabler. I'm Dr. Chin, Olivia's OB GYN. It's nice to finally meet you Elliot."

Elliot enthusiastically shook her hand and replied, "Likewise."

"So are you both excited to find out the gender?" Dr. Chin grinned. "I actually already saw the gender a couple of weeks back but Olivia told me she promised that you'd find out together. "

"Yes, she did." Elliot confirmed. "And believe me, Doc we're ready to find out."

"Well, as you can see we're doing another ultrasound. It's not because I'm not sure if what I saw the first time is correct. But just to make sure there are no second guesses, I'm doing another ultrasound and it can't hurt anyways. Olivia's pregnancy is a delicate one, so another ultrasound can only help in making sure there are no problems."

"Alright, Doc. Come on let's do this. I want to know what I'm having." Olivia spoke up eagerly.

Dr. Chin laughed and replied, "Alright."

She put some gel on her belly and then took out the ultrasound instrument and started rubbing it on her belly. The three of them stood transfixed at the image of the baby inside Olivia. Suddenly, Dr. Chin smiled and spoke up as she stopped at a particular part of the baby. "There you see." She pointed at the screen. "You see that little thing. That's your baby's penis. Congratulations, Olivia, Elliot, you're going to have a baby boy."

Olivia smiled from ear to ear but she had tears running down her face, in joy. Elliot was equally tearfully happy. He put his arms around Olivia and kissed her on top of her head. "We're going to have boy, baby." Elliot murmured.

"I know. Are you glad?"

Elliot nodded. "I would have been just as happy with a girl so long as it's normal. But now that we know it's a boy, I have to admit, I am glad. I only have two boys and already 3 girls so now this makes it even."

Olivia laughed. "My God, Elliot, you are about to have six kids. Can you imagine that?"

"No I really can't. But once upon a time, I had a hard time imagining being a father too and now I can't even remember how not to be one."

"I can't wait to be a mom El. Especially to your son." Olivia told him, tenderly. "I love you. Thank you for making me a mother finally."

"I love you, too. And you're welcome."

The two laughed together and held hands. Dr. Chin cleared her throat to remind them that she was still there and they turned to her. "So Doc, is everything else okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yes Olivia, you're doing very well. Baby's doing well. His size is normal. Heartbeat is strong. You're progressing well. However, given your past problems, I would probably suggest a c-section rather than a normal delivery. But then again, that's your decision. We still have time. Though I suggest that if you decide to do the c-section to do it as soon as you hit 36 weeks. That's already full term."

"Thanks, Dr. Chin. I'll certainly think on that with Elliot. Will let you know."

"Okay. Well, schedule another appointment for next month and I'll see you then. "

"Thanks, Doc."

"And Elliot, it was really nice to meet you. You take care of Olivia you hear?"

"I will Doc, I will." Elliot promised.

_**So Elliot and Olivia are having a boy. This story is about to wrap up. I'm thinking 2 to 3 chapters more and we are done. But in the meantime, anyone have suggestions for a name of Elliot and Olivia's baby boy? Let me know. Please review. Here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista**_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_**Author's note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's. **_

_**I found this chapter really easy to write and I hope you guys like it. **_

A month later….

Olivia just hit her 6th month mark and she was getting big already. But she was still so beautiful, glowing from impending motherhood.

Things were going well not only with the pregnancy but also with her relationship with Elliot. Just a week ago, Elliot had found a new job with a firm that specializes in security and background checks. He would be a supervisor in training for the first month and then after which if all goes well, he'd be an official supervisor. The hours were good and the pay definitely an improvement from his detective's salary. He was going to start in 2 weeks which gave him a last two weeks to just relax with Olivia and his kids.

It was a gloomy Monday afternoon and Olivia was off today. So she spent the day pampering herself by having a manicure pedicure, going to Barnes and Noble in Union Square, having tea at the coffee shop inside while reading some Agatha Christie.

Elliot was on his way to meet her there, as he had dropped off Eli in Queens after he had picked him up from daycare.

Thankfully the traffic cooperated with Elliot at least until he hit the midtown tunnel and he was able to get to Olivia not too late. When they got home, Olivia rode the service elevator to the 4th and Elliot went through the front to get the mail.

The moment he opened the mailbox, it was like he knew something was there that was out of the ordinary. A moment later as he sorted through several envelopes, he knew what it was. There was an envelope for him. It was from the New York County Clerk's office. Heart pounding, he quickly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. He scanned the letter as fast as he can and broke out into a broad grin. He then raised his fists in the air in triumph. Quickly locking the mailbox, he ran up the four flights of stairs and burst into the apartment excitedly.

Hearing his footsteps, Olivia came out of the bedroom to meet him. When she saw him, she knew something was up. His eyes were shining brightly and his looked happy….he looked free. "Elliot, what's up?" She asked.

He took the few steps to her and then he showed her the letter he got. As fast as she could, Olivia grabbed the letter from him and read it. When she looked up, she was grinning as well and she said, "Oh my God, you're officially divorced. You're officially free!"

"Yes, I am! Woohoo!" Elliot declared.

"As much I as I am happy about this, well you know most people wouldn't see this as a day of celebration." Olivia told him.

Elliot gave her a mock pout trying to cajole her into feeling the same, but then something in her eyes sobered him up. He sighed and admitted, "I suppose you're right. I should feel sad that my 20 plus years of marriage is officially over. And a small part of me is, Liv. But a bigger part of me is relieved and happy to be finally free of that charade. If that is wrong or bad, then I'm sorry. But I'm just being honest."

"I know, El. A very big part of me is very happy too. But then again, that's because you're now officially mine."

"I've been yours for a long time, baby. You didn't need this paper to get me."

"I know babe, but you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do. I suppose you want me to all Kathy and see if she's okay." It was a statement not a question.

Olivia chuckled. "I do, El. She's not doing as hot as you are. We both know that. And like I said, for most people, this would be a sad day."

"Alright. I'll call her before dinner. She may not even be home yet."

"Why don't you call Dickie or Lizzie and find out if she's home and if she's received hers. You don't want to jump gun and call her before she's received anything."

"You always think of everything don't you?"

"Then, after you do talk to her when she's received it, I suggest you call Maureen and Kathleen. She's going to need them."

Hearing Olivia's words, Elliot could only stare at her and shake his head in wonder. "You're amazing you know that?"

"I try." Olivia grinned.

"I love you, Liv."

"I love you too, El."

"Why don't you rest up before dinner? I'll give Lizzie a call right now." Elliot told her.

"Okay. By the way, what are you planning to cook?"

"No idea yet. Any requests? I know pregnant women have some strange cravings."

Olivia laughed. "No, nothing strange here. I was wondering if you could cook some mushroom tomato linguini tonight? If that's okay with you?"

"Sure, Liv. Anything else?"

"That's it Stabler. Thanks."

"You got it Benson."

"I don't know Dad. I think she just came in. I just heard the front door close."

"Well, let me know okay?" Elliot requested.

"Sure, I will. Bye."

Just as Lizzie hung up the phone, she heard the door to Kathy's room slam shut. "Uh oh." She thought.

She walked up to the door and was about to knock but then changed her mind when she heard her mom crying softly in the room. Her heart went out to her and she wanted to knock so that Kathy would let her in and she could comfort her. But Lizzie also knew that at the moment, it was probably best that Kathy cry it out.

She wandered to their living room, seeking out Dickie who was playing on his Wii using the big screen television. She was about to say something to Dickie, when she saw a piece of paper on the floor all crumpled up. Lizzie picked it up and unraveled it and so that it was the final divorce decree. "Shit." She muttered, her eyebrows drawing together.

Despite his concentration on the game, Dickie heard her cursing, paused the game and asked, "Hey what's with the shit?"

Lizzie handed him the letter in her hand and said, "Mom and Dad's divorce was finalized today."

Dickie quickly scanned the letter and sighed. "Shit."

"Mom is up there crying." Lizzie told him.

"Poor mom." Dickie sighed again.

"Yeah, but you and I know this is for the best. They were always fighting. It was obvious they weren't happy."

"I know that Lizzie, heck I'm sure even mom knows that, but that doesn't make this any easier."

"I know. Look Dad called he already got his copy and he wanted to me to call when mom's came. I gotta call him. Why don't you try to get mom to let you go in and you can you know, comfort her."

"I don't think that's a good idea at the moment, Lizzie."

"Why not?" Lizzie asked, puzzled.

"Look at me. I'm the spitting image of Dad. Son or not, I don't think she wants to be reminded of him at the moment."

"Alright. Why don't you call dad and I'll see if I can help her."

"Okay."

Kathy was crying in her room – the room that she used to share with Elliot. And now, that was it, they were divorced. Twenty plus years down the drain in the blink of an eye it seemed.

Lizzie had just tried to get her to come out or at least get her to open the door but she told her daughter that for now she wanted to be alone, that she was okay and that she'll talk to them later.

In her hands, she held the album of their wedding. She scanned each photo studying their faces. They had looked so happy. Innocent and naïve, yes but happy. They were full of hopes and dreams that they'd defy the odds, that they would make it. For a while she thought they would but in the end they didn't.

Just then, Kathy heard her cell phone ringing from inside her bag. She was going to ignore it at first but then something changed her mind. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Elliot. Ignoring her instinct to throw the phone against the wall, which she knew would do her no good, she instead answered it on the third ring. "Hello."

"Kathy."

"What do you want?" Her voice was flat, though it was truly a struggle to remain unemotional.

Elliot paused and then gently asked, "Are you okay?"

Struggling to not cry, Kathy replied in the same monotone, "How do you think I am?"

"So you got it too, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Kathy, I, I just want you to know that I am truly sorry. Please know that I wish you well and that I never meant to hurt you. I really hope you find that guy who will love you as you deserve to be loved. I'm so sorry it wasn't me."

That did it, Kathy couldn't keep her tears at bay anymore and began to cry hard. Elliot heard her gut wrenching sobs through the phone. Olivia who sat beside him, heard them too. She saw the guilt and pity for Kathy on Elliot's face and the tears in his eyes. She put her arms around her, embracing him as the tears slid down his cheeks. He may be happy to be free. He may not want to be married to Kathy anymore. But he didn't spend all these years with her if he didn't care for her. And though they couldn't make each other happy, it didn't mean that Elliot can't hurt for her.

Elliot let his tears fall silently because he didn't want to upset Kathy further. And for a while he just let her cry, he didn't speak. All throughout, Olivia just held him. It would probably so much easier for Kathy if she had someone too. But of course, that wasn't something that could just happen. It comes when it comes and not a moment sooner.

Finally Kathy's sobs subsided and when all he could hear was an occasional sniffle, Elliot wiped his tears and spoke again. "Kathy I want you to know…" His voice trailed off and he looked at Olivia before he continued, "I want you to know that a part of me will always love you." His eyes pleaded for Olivia to understand.

Olivia smiled at him and nodded in understanding. She whispered to him tenderly, "It's okay,El. I understand."

"Thank you." He mouthed to her in reply. "I love you."

"I love you too." She mouthed back.

"Kathy?"

"I heard you, Elliot."

"I mean it, Kath. You gave me 5 beautiful children and we had some happy years. We just didn't work out. But that doesn't mean we have to hate each other."

"I know, but it will take me some time, I hope you understand that."

"Anyway, I just wanted to call and make sure you're okay. And if you're not right now, trust me, you will be. Okay?"

"Okay." Her voice caught again but she swallowed hard then said, "Goodbye Elliot."

"Goodbye Kathy."

With that, they hung up. In Queens, Kathy opened the door to her room. Finding Lizzie outside, she threw her arms around her daughter and cried again.

In Manhattan, Elliot took Olivia into his arms and kissed her lovingly. Olivia returned his kiss just as tenderly. When they broke apart, he told Olivia, "I am so lucky to have you love me."

"I'm so lucky to have you love me." Olivia repeated.

"Thank you for understanding why I needed to tell Kathy that."

"Elliot I wouldn't get jealous over that. Come on, you were with her 20 years. If you didn't love her you wouldn't have lasted that long. I understand. You love her, El, but you're in love with me."

Elliot smiled and affirmed it. "Yes, Olivia Benson, I am so in love with you."

"You better be." Olivia laughed.

"You know I am."

"Prove it."

"I would love to." Elliot said. And with that, he picked her up and carried her to their bedroom.

As he lowered her to the bed, Olivia whispered, "Don't forget to call Maureen and Kathleen later."

Elliot laughed. "I won't." Then without another word, he kissed Olivia and began to make sweet love to her.

_**Up next, talk of baby names and a surprise for Olivia courtesy of the Stabler children. In the meantime please review here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista**_

_**By the way, need your opinions again, if I decide to have El and Liv marry – should it a wedding in a beach or something or in city hall? (Elliot's Catholic and since he got divorced not annulled he can't marry in church again) Locations and size suggestions please. **_

_**P.S. I am so upset that they are giving Olivia a love interest in SVU! NOOOOOOOOOOO! **_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Author's note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's!

Sorry it took so long for this update!

It was right after the ball had dropped in Times Square that Olivia felt a sudden wetness between her legs. Heart pounding, she rushed to the bathroom and checked. There was blood.

As calmly as possible she called out to Elliot. "El! Could you come to the bathroom please honey?" Her heart was beating fast but she tried to calm herself down. She was supposed to go in for C-section in a weeks' time – she was a week shy of full term but still of course, she was worried.

Elliot appeared in the bathroom door and asked, "What is it, Liv?" His voice held the joviality of someone who had just had a happy beginning to his new year. But then suddenly his face blanched, as he saw the position Olivia was in and the blood on her underwear.

Suddenly Elliot sprang into action. "Don't worry, Liv. It'll be okay, baby. Why don't you sit down first and I'll grab our things."

Olivia nodded and she sat on the close toilet while Elliot ran around to collect the bags they already had gotten ready.

"Elliot, what if we can't find a cab?" Olivia asked nervously. "It's New Year's and we're in Manhattan."

"Sssh…don't think that way, Liv. Just keep calm okay. We will get a cab. I promise you."

At his words, Olivia felt a bit better and nodded determinedly. As she stood up, she looked up into his eyes and said, "El, I love you so much."

"I love you so very much too, Liv. This is it, baby! Are you ready?" Elliot exclaimed, his eyes flashing both with anxiety and excitement.

"Very ready. "

"Let's go then. Slowly, Liv, slowly until we get to the elevators."

Olivia nodded.

Thankfully, though midtown was full of revelry, their part of town was also festive but not in the leagues of the celebrations in Times Square. A minute hadn't even passed, when they saw a cab drop off passengers right in front of their building. Quickly Elliot grabbed it before someone else could. It was still a bit traffic on the streets, but thankfully half an hour later, they arrived safely at Mercy General.

On the way there, Elliot had called ahead and they were already met by a nurse with a wheelchair by the emergency entrance. As they rolled Olivia into the hospital, Elliot explained the situation to the nurses.

"Don't worry, Sir we will take good take care of her."

"Are you going to…" His voice trailed off, worry in his eyes.

"Not yet, Sir. Her c-section is not until next week. Depending on what we find, but it is likely we will keep her here for this last week."

They wheeled Olivia to an examination room. Elliot stood by her as the attending OB-GYN came into examine her.

Just as he was examining her, Olivia started to gush blood. Dr. Davis, the attending, said then, "Alright, we are going to have to deliver now, Ms. Benson. Are you ready?"

"Elliot!" Olivia cried, clearly scared. She reached out with her hand and Elliot grabbed hold of it tightly.

"It's okay, Liv, I'll be here."

"Mr. Stabler, you can wait in the waiting room. The OR section of the Maternity Ward is on the 6th floor. The waiting room is there as well. Now, please we have to get her up there."

"I can't be with her in there?" Elliot asked, clearly distraught at this piece of news.

"I'm sorry. But she'll be under and it's a c-section not a normal delivery. But I promise you someone will come get you once your child is born."

"My son…"

"Yes."

Just then Olivia gave an exclamation as she felt another rush of blood. Without another word, the doctor and the nurses started wheeling her to the elevator. Elliot went with them until they reached the 6th floor. They were then separated as Olivia was pushed to the OR and Elliot had to stay in the waiting room.

"I love you, Liv." Elliot said before they wheeled her away.

"I love you too." Olivia managed to say.

After that she was gone. And Elliot was a wreck. Except for Eli, all his children were born without incident. Even Dickie and Lizzie, where a rare twin set who managed to come into this world through normal delivery. And when Eli came after an accident he wasn't there, so he didn't go through the anxiety. In fact, it was Olivia who had gone through that traumatic experience with Kathy.

He paced back and forth in the waiting room and finally not being able to take being alone, he decided to call Maureen and Kathleen.

When he finally got through to Maureen, he could tell that she was at a party. The place where she was loud and he could hear the laughter and the music surrounding her.

"Hey Dad!" Maureen greeted her father, "Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year!" Elliot greeted her back. "So, hey I'm sorry I'm sure you're having fun at a party it's just that…" Elliot's voice trailed off.

Suddenly, Maureen sobered and said, "Just one sec, Dad, let me find a quiet spot."

Maureen quickly locked herself inside the bathroom of her friend's apartment. "Okay, so away from the noise. Dad what's wrong? Is it Liv?"

"Yeah, well nothing really wrong, but she started bleeding again and we're here in the hospital. Mo, they're doing the c-section right now. She's having the baby now!"

"Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm on way Dad!"

"No, no Maureen you don't have to. I know you have a party."

"No, Dad, I want to be there. I'll see you soon."

"Okay, thanks, Mo. "

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he wasn't going to be alone soon. After a few moments he also called Kathleen who was just as thrilled. Unfortunately, she was celebrating New Year's in Hoboken instead of the city and with all the celebrations it would be near impossible to get there on time even with the PATH train. However, she promised that she would visit as soon as she got back into the city the next day. "Tell Liv and my little brother that I love them, Dad."

"I will, sweetheart. Thanks. I love you. Happy New Year."

"I love you, too. Happy New Year. See you tomorrow."

About half an hour later, the doctor came out and told Elliot, "Congratulations, Mr. Stabler, you have a beautiful baby boy."

"Thank you Doctor! How is he? How's Olivia?" Elliot asked, looking anxious still.

"They're both great. They're bringing Olivia into the recovery room now. You can go to her there. She'll be out probably for another hour. As for your son, they are cleaning him up, weighing him and all then he'll be going to the NICU."

"NICU? I thought you said he was okay, Doc?" Elliot's face paled at the mention of NICU.

"Strictly a just in case, Mr. Stabler." Dr. Davis advised him. "Don't worry. He was only born a week early. He'll probably stay in there a day or two at the most."

"Are you sure, there's nothing you're not telling me?" Elliot asked, worry etched on his face.

Dr. Davis chuckled. "I promise you I have told you everything. In any case, Dr. Chin is on her way here. She just got stuck in the BQE – an accident it seems has it backed up going into Manhattan. But as soon as she gets here, she'll be checking on Olivia and your baby. I'm sure you'll find that she'll say the same things."

"Alright, Doc. Thank you." Elliot extended his hand.

Dr. Davis accepted the handshake and then smiled. "A nurse will be coming to get you once Olivia is settled in the recovery room. After you see her, you can go check on your baby at the NICU – that's on the 5th floor, okay? You're going to have to wear scrubs there, okay?"

"Okay, Doc, thanks again."

"You're welcome and congratulations once more."

The doctor walked away then and Elliot sat back down on one of the cold steel chairs of the waiting room. He didn't have long to wait however.

Just then a nurse came out and told him that Olivia was already in the recovery room and that the baby was in the NICU already. "Sir, may I suggest that you see your son first? Your wife's sedation won't be wearing off for at least another 45 minutes."

Elliot smiled at the use of the word wife and didn't bother to correct her. "Thanks, but I think I'll just peek on her then go to the NICU."

"No problem."

The nurse led the way and then after asking if there was anything more he needed, she left.

He saw Olivia resting peacefully, an IV in her arm. He also saw the button she can use for the morphin drip. Giving birth by c-section is considered major surgery so he knew that she would be in considerable pain for a few days.

He gave her a soft kiss and whispered, "You did well, baby. I'll see you in a bit."

And with that he softly walked out of the room. Just as he closed the door, he heard a voice call out, "Dad!"

He looked towards the direction of the familiar voice and saw his eldest daughter. "Mo! I'm so glad you're here!"

Father and daughter embraced and then with a big smile on her face, Maureen declared, "Congrats Dad! How are Olivia and my baby brother?"

"Thanks. Olivia is inside – she's recovering from the c-section- she's still out. Your baby brother is at the NICU and I'm actually on my way to see him now." Elliot advised her.

Maureen gave a small gasp. "The NICU? Why? Is he okay?"

"Relax, Mo. I had the same reaction. The doctor assured me it was just a precautionary measure. Since he was born a week early, it's just usual procedure to have the baby in the NICU. But they assure me that he's healthy and fine."

"Phew." Maureen exhaled, relieved. "That's good."

"Yeah, I know I was worried for a minute as well."

"Well, Dad, why don't you go see him and I'll stay with Olivia in case she wakes up already?"

"Thanks! You're the best, Maureen."

"You know I am!" She joked. "Oh, hey do you guys have a name yet for the little guy? Please don't tell me it's Elliot Stabler III."

Elliot laughed and told her, "Yes, we do and no, it isn't Elliot III. It's actually Edward Jacob…" At his words, Maureen's face took on a totally stricken look and Elliot had to laugh. "I'm joking Maureen, I wouldn't name my son after a vampire and a werewolf, okay?"

"Thank God!" Maureen exclaimed. "I thought you were serious."

Elliot chuckled and shook his head.

"So if not that, what's his name?"

"Tell you what, Mo, let's wait for Olivia to wake up and will tell you together, okay?"

Maureen rolled her eyes then laughed. "I don't know know why you need to be mysterious but fine. So go and check on the little guy."

Needing no further urging, Elliot practically ran to the NICU as Maureen entered the recovery room to keep Olivia company.

Elliot scrubbed and sterilized, put on scrubs before entering the NICU. There he was shown to his son. There in a clear plastic "bassinette" typical in the hospitals maternity area, lay his son. Elliot's eyes teared up as he saw him for the first time. Except for a heart monitor attached to his little fingers, his son was of the right size, looked extremely healthy - he was actually very pink and he looked like he was sleeping peacefully. At the foot of where he slept, it said "Baby Boy Benson". At first, Elliot was a bit startled at the sign, but then he realized of course, since Olivia wasn't married to him…yet…that's what they would have called him.

A NICU nurse approached him and said, "Are you his Daddy?"

Elliot just nodded unable to speak, overcome with emotion still at his first sight of his son – his son with OLIVIA. "Congratulations! Do you want to hold him?"

Elliot nodded but then said, "Can I?"

The nurse who couldn't be more than 25 years old chuckled, "Yes you can. You know he's probably just here for 24 hours – we just want to make sure he can feed and he doesn't develop jaundice. That can happen to premature babies. But I understand this one is only a week shy of 36 weeks. So I don't see the problem. 2 days would already be a long stay for him."

"Thank you. Could you help me get him? I'm sorry, this is the first time I've had a preemie and I'm a bit scared." Elliot confided.

"Of course." Expertly, the nurse lifted the little boy and gently put him in Elliot's arms. "He's so handsome. Do you have a name yet?"

Almost absently, Elliot nodded.

"Good. Well I'll leave you guys. Is his mother still in recovery?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm sure you'll bring her over once she's up and about. Enjoy your time with your son. If you need anything let me know."

"Thank you."

When the nurse left, Elliot's tears that were kept at bay with her presence began to fall. He couldn't believe it. He and Olivia had a son and he was perfect.

Thirty minutes later, Elliot made his way back to the recovery room. He got there just in time. Olivia was just starting to wake up. She moaned feeling the first pains of her surgery.

"El?" Her voice was husky. She was still groggy from the anesthetic she was given.

"I'm here, Liv."

Tactfully, Maureen stood up and told her Dad, "Hey the nurse told me someone had to arrange for her room, so let me do that right now, okay? You stay with her Dad."

"Thanks, Mo."

"How's my brother?"

"He's great. "

"Maybe I can go see him later?"

"Definitely. "

"I can't wait." Maureen grinned and then hearing that Olivia was becoming more and more conscious she said, "Well I'm gonna see about her room. See you in a bit."

Elliot nodded and Maureen left the room. Olivia opened her eyes then and groaned, "El? How is he? How's our baby?"

"Sean Brendan Stabler is doing great, baby. You did so good. He's so handsome! Just like his daddy."

Olivia laughed weakly and then groaned, "El, don't make me laugh. It hurts."

Elliot looked instantly regretful. "I'm sorry, I forgot. However, I was a little surprised that it says Baby Boy Benson in his bed at the NICU."

"NICU?" Olivia suddenly looked panicked. "I thought you said he was okay, El."

Elliot squeezed her hand and replied, "He is baby. It's just that he was born a week early and he's in the NICU as a precaution. His weight is normal. He's 5 lbs and 10 ounces. And he's 18 inches long."

"Only 5 lbs? That's small."

"Don't forget the 11 ounces. Well he was only 35 weeks. 1 week shy of full term and 5 weeks shy of the actual 40 weeks that they usually say is the complete human pregnancy span. But he's fine. So he's a little small – that's fine. Kathy used to tell me about preemies who were born at 3 lbs or 4 lbs and they're fine. So almost 6 lbs? That's good."

"Are you sure?"

"Liv, I will never lie to you. I am sure."

"Okay. When can I see him?"

Just then, a nurse came in. She smiled at Olivia, "So I see you're up. How do you feel, Ms. Benson?"

"Except for this big pain I have, I'm ecstatic. I can't wait to see my baby."

"Of course! You can do that in a couple of hours. Once you're able to walk with assistance you can go to the NICU. In the meantime, you see that button that's attached to your IV?"

Olivia nodded.

"Well that's your control on your morphin drip. You can press it as much as ten times in an hour, so that you will be pain free. Okay?"

"Thanks." Olivia pressed the button and a dose of morphine made its way to her system. A few moments later, her pain was gone.

"In the meantime, do you have a name? We have to have a name for the hospital birth certificate and to request his social." The nurse asked Olivia, smiling in anticipation.

"We do." Olivia confirmed, smiling at Elliot.

"What is it?"

"It's Sean Brendan Stabler."

"Stabler?" The nurse questioned. "I'm sorry, but I thought your last name was Benson."

"It is. But his Dad's last name is Stabler, so I'd like him to have it."

Elliot looked at Olivia and squeezed her hand. "And one day soon, I'm going to make you a Stabler too."

Olivia laughed and squeezed his hand back, but didn't answer back.

The nurse saw the look between them and smiled inwardly. They were obviously in love. "Okay thank you. Well congratulations to the two of you! Happy New Year!"

When she left them alone, Elliot leaned down and kissed her. "Happy New Year, Liv. Thank you so much for the best New Year's present ever. I love you."

"But we don't usually give out presents during the New Year."

"I know. That's why this is so amazing."

Olivia chuckled and replied, "I love you too, El. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making me a mother." Olivia had tears in her eyes.

Elliot kissed her then and as they broke apart, Olivia asked, "He's beautiful I'm sure?"

"He is Liv, but you'll see for yourself later. I didn't see his eyes yet because they're still closed mostly – they usually don't fully open until a couple of days after but he already has a lot of hair…"

"Well thank God for that, we don't want him taking after you in that department…"

Elliot laughed then scoffed, "Ha! Hair or no hair you still think I'm hot…so…"

Grinning broadly, Olivia rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Still…anyway, what else?"

"Well right now, he's still very pink and he has the pinkest lips. You'll see Liv. We did well."

"I'm sure we did." Olivia agreed.

They smiled at each other and kissed gently again.

"Look why don't close your eyes first and I'll see about your room. Okay? Maureen went to take care of it but I want to see what's happening."

"Mo's here?"

"Yeah, I called her. I was scared earlier." Elliot admitted, looking sheepish.

"You were scared? I was the one who went under the knife!" Olivia gave him a look of mock outrage but then she couldn't help it and she broke into an ear to ear grin again.

"Haha Benson."

"Anyway, come on Stabler go fix me up with a room so that I can visit Sean already."

"Okay, okay… you rest up. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Suddenly Olivia was sleepy again and before Elliot was out the door she was asleep once more.

It was two hours later and Elliot wheeled Olivia to the NICU. She wasn't allowed to walk long distances yet and so she had to use the wheelchair. The moment she saw Sean she broke down and cried tears of happiness. She could not believe she was finally a mother. And to put icing on the cake, she was a mother to her son with ELLIOT.

"What's that on his fingers?" She asked the nurse next to her.

"That's just to monitor his heart rate Miss Benson."

"But there's nothing wrong…"

The nurse smiled, interrupting her, "No ma'am. Nothing is wrong with him. It's just SOP for all babies who are here. I told your husband earlier that your little boy should be out of here within 48 hours at the most."

Olivia nodded, smiling, completely relieved now. "Thank you. Do you think I can hold Sean now?"

"Oh is that his name?"

"Yeah."

"It suits him." The NICU nurse remarked. "Why don't you let your husband get him? I already showed him how earlier."

"El?"

Elliot smiled loving the fact that she didn't correct the nurse in her mistaken assumption that they were married and obeyed. Slowly, gently, carefully, he lifted Sean and then with the same care and even more gentleness finally laid him down into Olivia's waiting arms.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears again and they began to fall as she held her son for the first time. "Hello Sean. Welcome to world. I'm your mommy. I love you."

She looked up at Elliot, who was also overcome with emotion as he took in the picture of Olivia holding their child. Their eyes met and without words, they both knew that for the first time in a long time, they were both truly happy.

Sorry for the long wait for this update. I actually got pinkeye and had to miss work and so when I got back to work I had so much catching up to do and then it was my son's turn to get sick! ARRGH! Just to let you know, I'm not a medical doctor so if there's anything inaccurate in the above chapter, please do forgive me. I just wrote what I knew based on my own experience when I gave birth to my son at 33 weeks.

Last two chapters coming up! Or maybe even one – we shall see, but it's almost the end for this story. In the meantime, please do review here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista Thanks in advance.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Author's Note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's.

I rather enjoyed writing this chapter.

Three days later, Olivia and Sean were discharged and went home. Elliot had hired a car service to pick them up from the hospital and it was a relief as he carried Sean in the car seat that Alex and Casey had given as a present and set him between him and Olivia.

As they driver made his way to the apartment, Elliot looked at the little boy, sleeping peacefully in the car seat. "Did I tell you that you did awesome, Liv?"

Olivia chuckled and replied, "Yes you did. Over and over actually since I woke up in the recovery room."

"It's true though." Elliot said. "He's so precious."

"I know." Olivia looked down at her son, and touched her finger to his nose. The little boy moved a tiny bit at her touch and Olivia chuckled. "Look at that, 3 days old and he already knows how to tell his mommy not to disturb him."

"He's saying don't touch my nose. It tickles and I want to sleep."

Just then, Sean's eyes fluttered open and out came his baby blues. He had his father's sapphire eyes. "Damn, El, he really does have your eyes."

"Well, let's see. They could change to brown still. You know most Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes and most of them change color after several months. So let's see."

"Really? How did you know that?"

"Uh, I don't know if you know this Liv, but Sean's my 6th kid."

Olivia laughed out loud and gave him a mock punch to the arm. "Alright, alright! So you know what you're talking about. But! I really hope that they don't change to brown. I've always loved your blue eyes and I'd love for Sean to have that same color."

"I knew it!" Elliot exclaimed. "These blue eyes are sexy!"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Whatever, El!" She chuckled again and Elliot just laughed along with her.

When they got up to the apartment, they were surprised to find a banner hanging from the ceiling. It said, "Welcome home Sean Brendan Stabler. Love, Mo, Kathleen, Rich, Lizzie and Eli".

"Wow! Your kids are something else, El." Olivia said.

Elliot set Eli's car seat on the coffee table and then looked at Olivia with a happy expression on his face. "Yes they are. And I'm sure Sean will be just as great."

"I know. " Olivia agreed. They stared at each other for a moment, amazed that they were actually happy. "Hey, can I have Sean please?"

Elliot nodded and gently lifted him up from the car seat and gave him to Olivia. As he moved the car seat to the floor he noticed something else on the table. It was a note. It said, I hope you guys like the banner, but the surprise isn't over yet. Go over to the kitchen then the guest room.

Elliot showed the note to Olivia. She turned to him puzzled and asked, "Who wrote that?"

Elliot scrutinized the note and said, "That's Lizzie's writing."

Olivia smiled. "I love your kids, El. They really are amazing."

"Thanks, Liv. Well, shall we see what other surprises await us?"

They entered the kitchen first and on the counter stood a baby bottle sterilizer/steamer as well as complete set of baby bottles for formulas and nipples. There was a card attached to the steamer and it said, "For baby Sean Stabler love from Uncle Fin."

"Nice, Fin…" Elliot murmured.

"We have pretty terrific friends too." Olivia declared.

"Yeah we do." Elliot agreed.

Olivia turned and then saw another gift on top of the kitchen table. Elliot checked who it was from before opening it and found that it was from Melinda. When he had opened the package he found a set of baby monitors. "Wow!" Olivia exclaimed. "They thought of everything."

"I know." Elliot's voice was soft and all at once Olivia, knew he was touched.

"Well do you see anything else?" Olivia asked.

Elliot looked around and then shook his head. "Nope. Shall we move on to the bedroom?"

"Let's." Olivia agreed.

Quickly they went to the bedroom, turned on the lights and gasped. The first thing they saw was a crib that wasn't there three days ago. It came complete with a mattress already fitted with a sheet and some blankets. Elliot spied the card attached to the crib and grabbed it. "Liv, look." He told her as he read it.

"What?" Olivia asked, approaching with Sean.

The card said:

Welcome to the world, Sean! Love from, Uncle Don."

"Captain Cragen gave this?" This time, it was Olivia who was choked up with emotion. Elliot nodded, his eyes a bit wet.

There was also a musical mobile attached to the crib and Elliot saw the card attached to that. He grabbed it and read it out loud. "A little music is always a good thing to fall asleep to, Sean." Love your big brothers and sister, Rich, Eli and Lizzie.

"Elliot, we have to do something for all of them. "

"I know."

Inside the crib, there was a big shopping bag. Elliot got it out and checked the card. On the card it said, "For Baby Sean." Love Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda.

"Who is it from?" Olivia asked.

"Nick and Amanda." Elliot answered and then he began to take out the contents of the bag. Inside was a pack newborn diapers, 6 pieces of onesies, 3 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of mittens, a beanie, and 3 pairs of baby shoes.

"Nice." Olivia remarked.

Just then, Elliot spied another item on top of the dresser drawer. This time he saw a complete set of a first aid kit for a baby that included, the bulb suction for when he had a cold, an ear thermometer, as well as nail clippers and more. This time the note said that it was from Munch.

Beside it was another note. It said, "We forgot, check out the bathroom too."

Smiling and shaking their heads in appreciation, they went to the bathroom. This time they saw a baby bath and a complete set of baby toiletries – shampoo, head to toe wash, a set of towels and more. The card attached read, "To our baby brother, Sean, we love you! Your big sisters, Mo and Kathleen. P.S. In case you're wondering where the single bed that used to be in the room is, my bed (this is Kathleen now) in the dorm was about to collapse so I hope you don't mind that we took it there."

As Elliot read the last part out loud, Olivia laughed. "I totally do not mind. I wish she would have said something. I'd help her get a better one."

"No need Liv. It's a bed for a college dorm. That one is fine, as long as you don't mind?"

"How can I mind after all of this, El? No way. El, we really have to do something to thank all of them." Olivia said as she cradled Sean in her arms. Her eyes were sparkling with tears of happiness.

"Hmm, I don't see a gift from Alex and Casey?" Elliot remarked.

"Um, excuse me. What about the car seat?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot!"

Olivia chuckled. "Well, let's go get settled in. I'm tired and I still have to breastfeed Sean here."

"I know. How about I put the crib inside our room first."

"That'd be great, El. Thanks."

"Of course."

"I love you." Olivia told him, looking at him, smiling.

Elliot returned her smile and walked over to her and said, "I love you more. Sean, I love you too, son."

A single tear ran down her cheek as she replied, "We love you too, Daddy." Then she gasped. "Oh my God, El. You're the father of my son."

"I know. And you're his mother."

"I know. Thank you."

Elliot simply smiled and said, "I love you. Now go breast feed and I'll get the crib okay?"

"Okay."

Olivia was on maternity leave and so she was staying home with Sean for the day. In the meantime, Elliot had to go back to work. Before he headed home at the end of the day, he decided to drop by the 16th precinct to thank them for their presents personally.

He knew that Olivia had already called everyone to thank and he also called his children but he wanted to say thank you the guys in the 16 in person.

Fortunately, when he got there, they were all present.

"Elliot." Captain Cragen greeted. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, Cap."

Fin,Munch, Amanda and Nick had gathered all around him as well and offered their congratulations. Elliot smiled at all of them and accepted their greetings. Then he spoke up addressing all of them, "Hey guys, I just wanted to say thank you for all the gifts you guys gave us for Sean. We are truly beyond touched."

"No problem, El." Fin replied. "The little guy deserves it."

"Yeah." Munch echoed. "Considering that he has the most stubborn parents in the world, he is going to need this time to be pampered so he won't get so pissed when he's old enough to know that ."

Elliot laughed and replied, "You know, you're probably right, John. Thanks."

"So Elliot, I was just wondering," Amanda addressed him, "why did you guys name him Sean Brendan? Not that it's not a gorgeous name, it is but I'm just wondering the reasoning behind the choice."

Elliot shrugged and replied, "Sure, I'll tell you. Well you all know I'm Irish, so Olivia wanted an Irish name. Then we settled on Sean Brendan because of the initials. First of all Stabler and Benson – S and B and then more importantly, our moms. Liv's mom was name Serena and mine is named Bernadette or Bernie for short. So again, S and B. I've always loved the name Sean and she's always loved the name Brendan, so Sean Brendan. That's it."

"Nice one, Stabler." Nick told him. "I think the name really suits the little guy."

"Thanks, Amaro. Anyway, I really came here to thank you guys. Olivia and I agree we want to do something for you all in thanks for all you did. This year has been anything but easy and without your friendships, even you Amanda and Nick, I don't think we would have done so well. "

"Elliot, there's no need for you guys to do something for us." Captain Cragen admonished.

"Yeah, El. Seriously, we're glad to help and all." John seconded.

"But we want to…" Elliot insisted.

"Look, Elliot, you want to do something to thank us?" Fin spoke up.

Elliot nodded vigorously. "Yeah."

"Then just promise us that you'll never intentionally hurt Olivia. Promise us you'll take care of her." Fin asked, his tone sober and serious.

"Or better yet, you want to thank us?" Munch jumped in.

Again, Elliot nodded as he turned towards the older man.

"Why don't you propose to her and marry her?"

The other four began to smile and nod in agreement. "Yeah, Elliot, that's it. That's how you thank us."

"That's all? I mean, I do intend to marry her. That's not even something that needs thinking about."

"Yes, that's all we want. We want you guys to do what you have been wanting to do for so long and be happy." Captain Cragen declared, smiling broadly.

"Were we really that obvious?" Elliot asked.

"Yes." Munch and Fin answered in unison.

"To be honest, Stabler, the first time I met Olivia even though you were no longer around, when Cap told her to clean out your desk, I knew. It doesn't take a genius." She paused for a moment and then she suddenly snapped her fingers. "Wait, wait. I know how you thank us, especially these three." She indicated the Captain, Fin and Munch.

"How Amanda?"

"You let us plan your proposal." Amanda grinned.

"Now that sounds like a proper thank you to me." Captain Cragen agreed.

"I second that motion." Munch interjected.

"And I third it." Fin returned.

"That's an easy yes guys." Elliot answered,grinning. "My only condition? I overheard Olivia telling Casey that if we ever get there, she wants it to be not too soon after giving birth because she wants to lose the baby weight first."

"That's fine. What's your time frame?" Nick asked.

"How about asking her in 4 months' time? That way she would have been back here about a month and she would be well on her way to shedding the baby weight." Amanda suggested.

"That sounds perfect Amanda. And one last condition, can we have my children help?"

"Sure." Fin answered for them. "No problem, El. I'm sure they will be thrilled."

"Thanks guys, really. We super appreciate all you've done."

"You're welcome Elliot. Now, why don't you call Casey or Alex or both and ask them to help you choose an engagement ring." Fin recommended, grinning at his former colleague.

"Nah, I think I can handle that task myself." Elliot replied. "But you can involve them in the proposal."

"Cool."

"Alright guys, I gotta go. Thanks again and I can't wait to see what you come up with."

"Amanda will be in charge." Nick told him. "So don't worry."

"I won't."

With one last wave, he went out of the bullpen and for the first time he didn't think of the shooting at all.

Four months to the day of that conversation, Olivia was surprised to find that Elliot's kids had come with him to pick her up. It was Elliot's day off so even little Sean was with him, but it was Kathleen who carried him. She eyed all the children suspiciously as they entered the 16th precinct and surrounded her desk.

Her eyes narrowed and then with a puzzled smile, she asked, "What are you all doing here?" She looked at Elliot and he bent down to give her a quick hello kiss.

"Well it's Dad's day off and he spent the day with us. We got tired of hanging out in Queens so we decided to come here into the city to bug you…" Dickie told her.

Olivia continued to look suspicious and she glanced at Elliot who seemed to be suddenly very interested at the light bulb in the ceiling. "El, baby are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"What, Liv, nothing is going on. My kids just wanted to visit you. They got used to being around all the time, that now that you're back at work, they miss you."

"Are you sure?" Olivia countered, slowly staring at each Stabler kid one by one.

Lizzie grinned. "Of course."

Just then, Cragen walked out into the bullpen and when the kids saw him, they waved. The captain waved back and then Maureen spoke up. "Hey Liv, time to be honest you caught us. We are actually here for a reason."

"I knew it!" Olivia declared triumphantly. "What is it?"

Kathleen grinned at told her, "Eli actually has a present for you. And he couldn't wait until your next visit to give it to you. So here we are."

Olivia turned to Eli and so focused in figuring out why they couldn't wait to give the gift to her that she didn't notice that suddenly Fin, Munch, Amanda and Nick had all drawn nearer and that Alex and Casey had also arrived.

Olivia looked at Eli, who had gotten so big. She still couldn't believe that he was now almost 5 years old. "Hey buddy, did you have something to give me?"

Eli glanced at his father and his father nodded, encouraging him. Approaching Olivia, he unhooked his favorite Cars backpack from his shoulders, opened the zipper and took something from out of it. Then looking at Olivia, he extended his hand that now held a velvet box and said, "Livia…my daddy said I should give this to you."

Suddenly Olivia's breath hitched as she caught sight of the box in the little boy's hand. Never taking her eyes off of Eli, she slowly reached for the box. Once it was in her hand, she turned to look at Elliot and then opened it. She gasped when she saw its contents. Inside the purple velvet box lay a solitaire diamond ring set in platinum.

"Do you like it, Liv?" Lizzie asked.

Mutely, with tears shining in her eyes, Olivia nodded.

"Dad, that's your cue." Dickie said loudly.

Suddenly there was laughter around them. Dickie blushed deeply. He hadn't realized that the entire floor had stopped to watch them.

Elliot gave him a mock punch, rolled his eyes and replied, "I know Dickie."

"Don't screw it up. Ask her already."

"Well if you guys would let me speak…."

"Shut up Dickie!" Maureen admonished.

"Sssh!" That was Kathleen shushing the shusher.

Chuckling, Elliot turned to Olivia who was still immobile and shocked. He took the box from her hand, got the ring out and went down on one knee. He looked straight into her brown eyes, and took her hand. Never averting his gaze, he started speaking. "Almost 14 years ago, I met you here for the first time. I didn't know it then, but that day changed my life forever. You changed my life forever. You made me happy and whole. I loved you for a long time and I will always love you. This is it for me. You're the one. So, Olivia Benson would you please do me the honor of marrying me, of becoming my wife?" He held his breath and the ring as she waited for his response.

There was one brief moment of silence and then Olivia suddenly threw her arms around him, replying, "Yes, El. I'll marry you! I love you too."

Grinning from ear to ear, Elliot slipped the ring on her finger, stood up and kissed her.

All around them, people were cheering. Nick and Amanda exchanged a high five while Fin and Munch stood back looking satisfied. "We were right all along with that sexual tension thing with them huh?" John said, addressing his partner. "I knew they'd end up together."

"Yeah, but we didn't think it'd take them 14 years!"

"Well better late than never, Tutuola. And at the end of the day, we were right. Those two cannot live without each other."

Captain Cragen walked up to the newly engaged couple and embraced Olivia. "Congratulations, Liv. You finally got your man."

Olivia laughed. "I guess I did Cap. Thanks."

Cragen chuckled too but then he sobered as he turned to Elliot. "Stabler, I expect you to take good care of her. It took you 14 years to get her and to get to where you are right now. Don't f…" Cragen cut himself off before he used the F word as he remembered that there were kids there. "I mean don't mess it up again. Okay? You take care of her. Take care of each other, you hear?"

"I hear you Don." Elliot replied. "Don't worry I love her so much. You needn't worry about me not taking care of her."

"And trust me Cap, I intend to keep him in line."

Cragen laughed out loud then and replied, "I'm sure you will, Liv, I'm sure you will."

Suddenly, Olivia noticed that everyone seemed to be there including Alex and Casey who were quickly approaching her and Elliot. And it hit her. "Wow! You guys planned this!"

"Yes, we did!" Casey admitted readily, grinning. She hugged her friend and said, "Congrats Liv."

"My turn!" Alex cut in. She gave Olivia a huge hug. "Congrats, babe!"

"Thanks, you guys!"

"So actually it wasn't just us who planned this. It was a joint effort. But Amanda helmed it." Casey admitted

"She did?"

"Yeah." Alex confided. "Trust me went through a lot of scenarios of how to do this. But at the end we decided the simpler the better."

"It was perfect." Olivia said.

"I'm glad you liked it." Amanda's voice suddenly rang out.

Olivia hugged the newest detective . "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Liv." Amanda returned. "It was fun planning this, ya know? A nice change from our jobs."

"So did Elliot ask you guys to do this?" Olivia asked.

"Nope." He had been letting the girls do the talking but this time he spoke in reply. "Actually remember all the gifts that we got for Sean? Well that day I came in here to thank them in person, we got to talking and I ended up mentioning that I intended to marry you sometime soon, they said that the best way to thank them for everything was letting them come up with how to propose. That was an easy thing to say yes to. I just asked them to involve my kids. So before you ask, yes, they were all in on it."

"Yeah, we all were." Maureen stepped with Sean.

"So Liv, remember our conversation when you were still pregnant?" Kathleen asked.

"Which one?" Olivia grinned but she knew perfectly well what the girl was referring to.

"Remember I told you I have dibs on planning your wedding with my dad?"

"Yeah?"

"So I hope I can hold you to that promise."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances and laughed. "Sure Kathleen." Olivia conceded. "Not a problem. I promise not to be a bridezilla."

"Awesome!" Kathleen exclaimed, clearly excited. "This is going to be great."

"Kath, just make sure you don't make us wear black or neon bridesmaid dresses." Lizzie admonished.

Kathleen gave her younger sister a withering look and scoffed. "Of course not. As if Olivia will ever say yes to something like that. I promise we will all be beautiful especially the bride."

"She already is beautiful." Elliot suddenly cut in, smiling at Olivia.

Suddenly everyone else in the room seemed to fade away and Olivia had only eyes for him for the moment. She met his gaze and told him, "I love you, El."

"I love you, Liv." There was a soft smile on his face.

"I can't wait to be married to you." Elliot told her.

"Me, neither." Olivia returned.

Then they both leaned in at the same time and their lips met in a kiss, as if to seal their engagement. And around them, their best friends and their children were clapping for them, happy for them. And the two of them felt like they were the luckiest and most joyous people on earth.

_**Up next, the wedding and after the wedding. It's the last chapter – when they would have finally turned the page to a new one. I promise a sweet, romantic and yet SMUTTY ending. In the meantime, please do review here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista**_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

_**Author's Note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine, they are Dick Wolf's and that imbecile of a network they call NBC.**_

_**So this ISN'T going to be the last chapter, folks! That was the plan, but it's not going to happen. I realized there would be too many things going on for just one chapter, so I decided to make this last till Chapter 26. I promise you do though that Chapter 26 will be the last. **_

Two weeks before the wedding…

Olivia was enjoying her new role in SVU. As much as she loved going out on field before, she had to admit she liked her new supervisory role better. Maybe it was because it allowed her to go home at manageable hours – hours that she now appreciated because she was a mom.

It also allowed her to work more closely with Captain Cragen. In a way she was second in command along with Munch. Captain Cragen had been like a father to her over the years. She never knew her father, considering what he was. And Captain Cragen never had children because his wife had died young. She knew that she and Elliot had been in many ways become the daughter and son he never had. It was with this in mind that she knocked on his door one afternoon, about two weeks before the wedding.

"Come in." Cragen's voice rang out and Olivia entered.

"Olivia."

"Cap, mind if I ask you a quick question?"

"Sure. Sit down. What's up, Liv? Everything alright with you and Elliot and Sean?" Cragen's expression was concerned.

Olivia chuckled. "Everything's great, Cap. Don't worry. Though there are times that I still can't believe that I am now a mom and that I have a son and that I'm marrying Elliot."

"Why not?" Captain Cragen asked.

"I guess when you've pretty much had crap for most of your life like I have, it's hard to believe that things are actually turning out right for once."

"Well, you deserve it Liv and so does Elliot." Cragen told her smiling. "Besides, it was a long time coming. I knew it from almost day 1 of putting you guys together as partners."

Olivia groaned. "Not you too! Are you a believer of that urban legend that we had immense "sexual tension"?

"It wasn't an urban legend, Liv. It was fact. Seriously, I can't believe it took you two 14 years to get married."

"Well, the fact that he was married till last year may have something to do with that Cap." Olivia told him wryly.

Cragen laughed. "Right. You know it's funny, they were together for so long, but I hardly remember her. And it's only been a year since the divorce."

"Well…I don't know what to say to that, Cap."

"Anyway, forgive me for babbling. You said you had a question. What is it? Shoot."

"Yeah, I did. Cap – you of all people, have supported me and have believed in me and Elliot for all of these years. We are so grateful for you and your support. And through all these years, you have been sort of like a father to me so, I was wondering, would you give me away to Elliot on our wedding day? You're the closest thing I have to a father and I would be really honored if you could do that for me?"

Cragen was speechless at first. But his emotions were clearly written on his face. His eyes looked extra bright and he blinked as Olivia's words sank in. Finally he spoke up, his voice catching a little, "I'd be glad to, Liv. Thank you for thinking of me."

"Thank you, Cap."

Cragen only nodded for he was too emotional to speak.

Olivia saw this and tactfully took her leave. "Well I better get back to work, Cap. Thanks again."

The next day, the phone was ringing in Olivia and Elliot's apartment. Olivia was still at work and Elliot had just gotten home with Sean after picking him up from daycare.

He set Sean's car seat down and hurried to answer the phone because he didn't want the noise to wake him up.

"Hello." Elliot's voice was low.

"Oh, hello." There was an elder female voice on the other line and she sounded surprised. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I have the right number, but I'm looking for Detective Olivia Benson."

"Uh, I'm sorry but she's not home right now. This is her fiancé, Elliot speaking. May I know who's calling please?"

"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't know she was getting married."

Elliot chuckled and then asked again, "May I know who this is ma'am?"

"Well, Elliot, could you please ask Olivia to give me a call back when she gets in? I'm Linda Arliss, Calvin Arliss' grandparents…I'm not sure if you know him...or about him…"

"Oh Mrs. Arliss, yes I do know Calvin and about him. Actually aside from being her fiancé, I'm Olivia's former partner."

"Oh I see, well Elliot can you tell Olivia to call me please once she gets in? It's rather important."

"Mrs. Arliss, Olivia may be a while. She recently got a promotion and I know she told me she's going to be home late tonight. Maybe I can help you?"

Mrs. Arliss sighed. There was a moment's silence.

"Mrs. Arliss?"

"Well Elliot, I hope you can. You see it's like this young man…"

Elliot listened to the elder woman on the phone and when he got off the phone, he was happy and sad at the same time. He was sad because it had to take two more tragedies to set things to right. But he was happy because he knew that he was about to make Olivia happy all over again.

A week before the wedding….

"Are you sure this is okay with you Mr. Stabler?"

Elliot smiled at the teenage boy beside him and replied, "It's more than okay Calvin. I promised you. "

"I mean you said that Olivia and you had a kid already. I mean I haven't seen here in a year a half and…"

"Calvin, listen to me. First of, it's not Mr. Stabler, it's Elliot. Second, Olivia is going to be thrilled to see you. And third, Sean will be lucky to have a big brother figure around. So no more about this, okay? The only reason I didn't want you guys telling her before today is because you have to know she went through such heartbreak when she lost you. I didn't want her going to through that again in case anything went wrong."

"I understand. Thank you Mr….I mean Elliot. I really appreciate this."

"Calvin, you made and will make Olivia happy. Anything that makes her happy is easy to say yes to." Elliot told the boy beside him.

"Thanks." He smile shyly at Elliot.

"Now, we have to pass by the day care to pick up Sean and then we go home. Okay?"

"Okay." Calvin replied eagerly. "And Elliot?"

"Yeah, Calvin?"

"I promise to be a very good big brother to Sean."

Elliot laughed. "Thanks, Calvin."

An hour later, the three boys were home at the apartment. Elliot had asked Calvin to wait for the pizza delivery while he changed Sean's diaper and put him in his crib.

Calvin waited in the living room, watching TV. Just then he heard the locks on the door turn and his heart started to pound. He knew it was Olivia. She was home.

A few seconds later, she stepped in, closed the door behind her and locked it. "El, baby, Sean! Mommy's home!"

Calvin had stood up when she came in and as she turned and walked towards the living room, she did a double take. She couldn't who she saw in front of her, in her living room. "Calvin?" Her voice was disbelieving – it was as if she couldn't trust her eyes.

All at once, Calvin ran up to her and threw his arms around her. "Olivia!" He exclaimed.

"Calvin! Oh Calvin, it's really you!"

"I missed you Olivia." His voice was muffled against her shoulders. He hugged her tightly as if he'd never let her go.

"I've miss you too, Calvin, but what? I thought you were in Vermont?"

"I was but…."

"It's a long story, Liv." Elliot came into the living room.

"What, El?" Olivia looked confused.

"I picked him up from the airport today, Liv."

"Calvin?' She looked at him questioningly. "It's not that I'm not happy you're here, but Vermont's a long way from New York."

"I know. I'll tell you, I promise. But it's gonna take a while Olivia, so why don't you say hello to Sean first." Calvin told her.

She looked at him and then nodded. "Okay, I'm going to look in on Sean then get dressed then we'll talk okay?"

"Okay."

Fifteen minutes later, the pizza had arrived and Olivia had looked in on Sean and gotten dressed. Carrying the baby monitor, she then walked into the dining room where Calvin and Elliot sat waiting for her, pizza in front of them.

Elliot handed her a slice and after the first bite she spoke to Calvin, "Okay, so Calvin, tell me. And I'm assuming El, you know about this too, so please do enlighten me."

Calvin sighed. "Are you mad?" His voice was filled sadness as he thought how Olivia could be mad at him right now.

"Oh my God, Calvin, no. I'm not mad. I'm just surprised to see you here. Please I could never be mad at you for visiting me."

"Uh, Liv, he's not just visiting." Elliot told her.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, puzzled and not daring to think what it could mean.

"Olivia, my mom died."

She gasped. "Oh, Calvin, I'm so sorry. When?"

Calvin shrugged. "Three months ago. And thank you for saying you're sorry, but you know her. She just couldn't stop it with the drugs. In a way, it's better this way. She's at peace now."

"I'm sorry Calvin. Be that as it may, she was still your mom and it must be hard."

Calvin nodded. "Well she's an angel now and she can watch over me from heaven."

Olivia smiled, happy that the boy still could believe in something like that what with the life he's had to live till now.

"So how are your grandparents?" Olivia asked him.

"Not good." Calvin told her, his eyes filled with more sadness.

"What do you mean?"

"Well about a month ago, grandpa got diagnosed with Alzheimer's."

"Oh no, Calvin, I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too. They took care of me you know? They loved me. Even though I missed you all this time, my grandparents took care of me and loved me in Vermont."

"I'm glad to hear that Calvin."

"Anyway, Liv, hey Calvin, can I tell this part?" Elliot interjected.

Calvin nodded. "Sure."

"Anyway, two weeks ago, Calvin's grandma called and you weren't home. She had called because she wanted to ask you if you would be interested to be Calvin's legal guardian again because she and her husband were moving to a nursing home where he would be getting the care he needed."

"Why didn't you tell me, El?" Olivia's voice held a note of hurt.

"I didn't tell you because I knew how it broke your heart when Calvin was taken away from you. I did not want you to go through that again just in case it didn't push through. But it did. Calvin's dad reassigned guardianship to you. The papers came this afternoon. Liv, honey, Calvin is yours."

Calvin nodded, smiling. "I'm yours now Liv…that is if you still want me?" His expression became anxious.

Olivia looked at Elliot who smiled. "It's okay with me Liv. That's why I picked him up from the airport."

At Elliot's words, Olivia turned to Calvin with a big grin on her face and replied, "Of course I want you still, Calvin. And this time you get two of us plus a baby brother."

"I know! This is going to be cool." Calvin exclaimed, overjoyed. He jumped out of his seat and hugged Olivia then Elliot. "Thank you so much both of you."

"Not a problem, buddy." Elliot told him, slapping him on his back.

"You know I'm glad you're finally marrying her, Elliot." Calvin admitted. "When I first saw the of you a couple of years ago I knew you liked each other. It was obvious."

Olivia groaned. "Oh no, not you too."

"What do you mean?" Calvin asked, confused.

"What she means is that everyone has been telling us that not just you." Elliot explained t him.

Calvin laughed. "Well, you guys, it was obvious."

"We heard." Elliot answered wryly.

The three of them laughed. Olivia hugged him again then and said, "Welcome back, Calvin."

"Thanks, Olivia."

"Welcome home, Calvin." Elliot told him, smiling at Olivia.

"Thank you." She mouthed to him. "I love you."

Elliot just nodded and mouthed back, "I love you too."

That same night, Kathy had on a whim, passed by Kathleen's dorm because she was in the city and she was feeling lonely. Unfortunately, she did not call before she went there and she found Kathleen out of her dorm room.

Bummed, she went back downstairs and went to the "reception" area of the dorm where there was a student manning the "front desk" on a work study program.

There was another parent there when she approached. Apparently, he had the same problem as Kathy. His daughter was also out. Kathy could not help but look at the guy. After all, he didn't look old enough to have a daughter in college. And he wasn't bad looking at all. He had sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes and he was about five foot ten. He had a nice build and as she glanced on his ring hand, she observed that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

Kathy had dropped by because she had been feeling lonely and like a total loser ever since she found that Elliot and Olivia were getting married. She had been doing this with Maureen and Kathleen of late because the nearer the wedding got, the worse she felt.

Tonight however, as Kathleen was nowhere in sight, the thought of Elliot getting married gave her courage instead. Normally she was never the type to start a conversation with a stranger outside of her job, but she figured she had nothing to lose. And so taking a deep breath, she spoke up in what she hoped was a casual voice, "Your kid's not here either? Mine too. I guess I should have called before I dropped by."

The man chuckled and replied, "Yup. But at least you didn't call your kid. Mine knew I was coming by and she's not here. What can you do, though? College, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm Kathy Malone by the way."

"Hi Kathy, I'm Stephen O'Connell. It's nice to meet you."

"Well, I guess I'm just going to have to visit my daughter another time." Kathy sighed.

"Wait, are you in a hurry? I know we just met but, I was at a conference all day and before I take the Metro North back to Connecticut I'd like to see my daughter, so I thought I'd hang out in the nearby Starbucks. Would you like to join me for coffee? Maybe after a cup and a pastry, our daughters will be back?"

Kathy seemed to think about it for a minute. Then she smiled and nodded. "Okay, Stephen. You're on."

"Great. It would have been deadly dull for me to have to wait for Joanie all by myself. You know, you don't look old enough to have a kid in college Kathy?"

"Really? You're just saying that? My eldest is actually out of college already."

"I find that hard to believe."

Kathy blushed. "Thank you."

"Anyway, shall we go to Starbucks and come back in about an hour or so?" Stephen asked.

"Let's go." Kathy answered.

As they walked to the nearest Starbucks, for the first time in a long time, Kathy didn't feel like such a loser.

_**Up next, the last chapter! No more extensions. It will really be the last chapter - it's the wedding and after the wedding….In the meantime, please review, here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista**_


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_**Author's Note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are not mine. They are Dick Wolf's.**_

_**This is going to be the last chapter. And this is going to be epic! Thank you all so much for all your reviews, alerts, favorites and more! I really really appreciate them all! I hope you all enjoy this last (long) chapter!**_

_**Laura Bennett was a contestant and a runner up in Project Runway season 3. She made amazing dresses and is native New Yorker so I thought it'd be great to feature her here.**_

_**You're Still You is Josh Groban's and No Ordinary Love is Jennifer Love Hewitt's. They are not mine – I can't sing to save my life. LOL.**_

_**I had a hard time writing this chapter probably because there's so much I want to put in and plus I didn't want this story to end…So please one last time do review!**_

_**Thanks again for all the support for this story. I will be updating my other stories soon. **_

It was a beautiful end of summer Sunday afternoon. It was perfect for a day 14 years in the making. Ken Tutuola, Finn's son sat by in front by the side, microphone on the stand and keyboard in front of him.

Elliot along with Dickie, who was holding Sean and Calvin stood in front waiting. Elliot looked nervous but also excited. He looked very handsome in a casual white pants and a v-necked shirt that truly belonged in a beach setting.

Among the people sitting on the benches were Fin, Amanda, Nick, Melinda, Ruben Morales, Munch, Jillian Hardwicke, Kim Grayleck, Michael Cutter who had brought Connie Rubirosa who was visiting from LA, Millie Vizcarrondo, George Huang, Elizabeth Hendricks, Liz Donnelly, Sherri West and more.

A minute later, everyone suddenly stood up as Eli started down the make shift aisle and Ken began to sing. Instead of the traditional wedding march, Olivia and Elliot had chosen "You're Still You" by Josh Groban to be sang while the wedding entourage walked down the aisle. They chose the song because they both felt that it described their story perfectly. Ken had a beautiful voice and his voice did the song justice.

_**Through the darkness**_

_**I can see your light**_

_**And you will always shine **_

_**And I can feel your heart in mine**_

_**Your face I've memorized**_

_**I idolize just you**_

After Eli, Lizzie started to walk across the floor. She looked so pretty in her blue bridesmaid dress and she was followed by an equally pretty Kathleen. Elliot could see their faces shining with joy for him. As they walked across the aisle, they looked straight at their father, open in their love and joy for him.

_**I look up to**_

_**Everything you are**_

_**In my eyes you do no wrong**_

_**I've loved you for so long**_

_**And after all that's said and done **_

_**You're still you**_

_**After all, you're still you**_

Maureen came next and she looked just as radiant as her sisters. And Elliot knew it was because they were happy. They were at peace, knowing that their father was happy. Kathleen did a good job with the wedding planning. The three Stabler women were wearing light blue dresses that celebrated the setting of the wedding and each carried a white rose.

The two maids of honor now took their turn walking down the aisle. They walked together, not one after the other. Olivia wanted it that way. She said they were both equals to her so no one should get to walk first.

Casey and Alex looked beautiful in their sea green dresses. Their dresses were the same color and fabric but they had completely different styles. Casey's complimented her curvy figure while Alex's did her lean physique justice.

_**You walked past me**_

_**I can feel your pain **_

_**Time changes everything**_

_**One truth always stays the same**_

_**You're still you**_

_**After all you're still you**_

As they walked to the front and took their places, Casey gave Elliot a thumb's up sign. Elliot smiled broadly and returned the gesture. Marrying Olivia already made him very happy but knowing that everyone was happy for them, it took his joy to a whole other level. And he was sure that Olivia felt the same. They may not have wanted or needed anyone's permission, but it felt good and right to have their blessings.

An instrumental break came in the song and suddenly everyone stood up. As they took in the sight of Olivia standing next to Captain Cragen at the end of the aisle there was a collective soft gasp that permeated the area. Olivia glowed. She had never looked so beautiful. Her dress, made by Project Runway designer Laura Bennett was absolute perfection on her. The ecru fabric skimmed her body and showed off her curves to their greatest advantage. The rather modest V neckline was balanced by the daring back that dipped all the way down to an inch below her waist. Her jewelry was simple, just simple gold diamond studs on her ears. In her hands was a bouquet of peach and pink roses. The portrait that she presented was simply pure romance.

Olivia was radiating happiness. Her face was lit up with a huge smile and her eyes were sparkling with love. And though they were surrounded by their closest friends and family, Olivia only had eyes for Elliot. She kept her eyes on him as she walked with Captain Cragen down the aisle.

_**I look up to everything you are**_

_**In my eyes you do no wrong**_

_**And I believe in you**_

_**Although you never asked me to**_

_**I will remember you **_

_**And what life put you through**_

Elliot met her gaze and all at once, any nervousness he might have felt before this moment was gone. He had never felt so sure in his life. Beside him, Sean had woken up and made a small giggling sound, as if also in awe of his mother's beauty at that moment.

Finally Olivia was right in front. Captain Cragen gave her a kiss on the cheek and then relinquished her to Elliot.

Alex stepped forward and Olivia handed her the bouquet she held. As soon as her hands were free, she reached out to Elliot with both hands and Elliot clasped them in his, their fingers intertwined, their gazes never wavering from each other's faces.

_**And in this cruel and lonely world**_

_**I found one love**_

_**You're still you**_

_**After all, you're still you**_

As the song finished, they slowly turned away from each other and faced the minister, still holding each other's hands and the ceremony began.

Several minutes later, the minister announced, "I understand that the bride and groom have written their own vows."

Olivia and Elliot nodded. "Yes, we have." Elliot confirmed to the minister.

"Please read your vows to each other now."

This time Casey stepped forwarded and handed Olivia a piece of paper. Olivia thanked her, unfolded the paper and turned to face Elliot. She smiled and gazed into his sparkling sapphire eyes. She laughed nervously and joked. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. It only took us 14 years to get here."

Elliot laughed and so did everyone else around them. "It's okay, Liv. It's just me. I love you, no matter what."

At his words, Olivia's nervousness faded and she began to speak_**. "Elliot, from the very beginning you believed in me. All through these years, even if there were times I made it hard for you, you never stopped believing in me. Before you, I don't think there was anyone who truly did. I didn't even believe in myself. But because of you, because of your faith in me, I finally was able to believe in myself and to love myself. And without that I wouldn't be here. Because how can I love you if I can't love myself first? Elliot, you taught me love and trust and belief in myself. And I can't wait to show you what I've learned. From a work partnership to best friendship and finally to love and passion – we will always be Benson-Stabler. For better or worse and in sickness and in health, I will be here loving you, always…forever. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't wait to have more babies with you. I can't wait to grow old with you. You're it, El. My best friend, my lover, my rock and after this, my husband – and in case you don't get it by now, baby…the answer is, I do. I love you. And I can't wait to be your wife."**_

Elliot reached to touch her cheek softly when she finished her vows. And she knew it was his way of saying thank you for her words. Now, it was his turn. He took a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded it and holding Olivia's hand in his free hand and looking into chocolate eyes which were shining brightly with happiness, he began to speak_**. "Olivia, for many years, you have been my strength. One way or another, you always were there to make sure I was strong enough to face anything that life gave me – no matter how bad it was. As my partner you gave me peace of mind, as my best friend, you assured me of always having someone to listen to me and to support me. Because of you I finally became strong enough to be honest with myself, to get the help to fix myself. I am finally strong enough to be a man deserving of your love and a man deserving of loving you. I love you Olivia, I will love you forever – through the good, the bad and the ugly. And Liv, always remember with you, my answer will always be I do. I love you very much. I can't wait to be your husband."**_

The attendees already began to hoot and cheer but then the minister calmed them down by saying, "I know all of you are all excited, but if you could save your cheers for later, Olivia and Elliot will now exchange rings."

Elliot's wedding band with Kathy had been platinum. She didn't want to follow in that tradition. So this time around, the wedding bands they had gotten were in yellow gold. Maureen stepped forward and gave the ring for her Dad to Olivia while Dickie handed the one for Olivia to Elliot.

As they turned back to each other, they saw that they both had giddy smiles on their faces. The minister spoke up once more, "Olivia, please go ahead."

She reached out for Elliot's hand again and tenderly said, "I give to you this ring as symbol of my never ending love. I choose you to be my husband today and forevermore." Then still gazing at Elliot's eyes, she slipped the ring on his finger.

Elliot smiled widely. For a brief moment he could only look at the ring on his finger. Then realizing it was his turn, he reached for Olivia's hand and looking into her eyes, he declared to her, "This ring I give to you as a symbol of my love and devotion to you. In God's name, I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be. I choose you to be my wife and today I join my life to yours."

Tears were now spilling from Olivia's eyes. Elliot slipped the ring on to her finger and then he reached up to her face and wiped her tears. "I love you, Liv."

"I love you, Elliot."

There was a moment's pause as the minister allowed them a minute to take in the importance of what just occurred. And then he raised his voice and addressed the people in attendance, "By the power vested upon me by the State of New Jersey, I declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Grinning, Elliot took a step forward and crashed his lips into Olivia's kissing her for the first time as her husband.

Around them, the cheering erupted – they were loud happy cheers. They could hear people hooting, whistling and just plain shouting their congratulations.

When thy broke apart and faced the crowd, Ken said into his mic, "Congratulations Mr and Mrs. Stabler. This song is for you!"

And with that he began to sing, as Olivia and Elliot took in the cheers and then walked down the aisle.

_**This could've been just another day,**__**  
><strong>__**but instead we're standing here.**__**  
><strong>__**No need for words, it all been said, **_

_**in the way you hold me near,**__**  
><strong>__**i was alone in this journey, you came along to comfort me.**__**  
><strong>__**Everything I want in life is right here**__****_

_**'Cause this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**I was not prepared enough**__**  
><strong>__**to fall so deep in love, this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**you were the first to touch my heart**__**  
><strong>__**made everything right again with your extraordinary love.**__****_

_**I get so weak when you look at me I get lost inside your eyes.**__**  
><strong>__**Sometimes the magic is hard to believe but you're here before my very eyes**__**  
><strong>__**you brought joy to my world set me so free,**__**  
><strong>__**I want you to understand, you're every breath that I breathe.**__****_

_**This is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**I was not prepared enough to fall so deep in love,**__**  
><strong>__**this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**you were the first to touch my heart**__**  
><strong>__**made everything right again with your extraordinary love.**__****_

_**From the very first time that we kissed,**__**  
><strong>__**I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all.**__**  
><strong>__**From this day on, remember this that you're only one that I adore.**__**  
><strong>__**Can we make this last forever,**__**  
><strong>__**this can't be a dream, cause it feels so good to me.**__****_

_**This is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**I was not prepared enough**__**  
><strong>__**to fall so deep in love, this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**you were the first to touch my heart**__**  
><strong>__**made everything right again with your extraordinary love.**__****_

_**This is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**I was not prepared enough**__**  
><strong>__**to fall so deep in love, this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love,**__**  
><strong>__**you were the first to touch my heart**__**  
><strong>__**made everything right again with your extraordinary love.**___

.

During the reception, as things were winding down and people around them were getting tipsier and tipsier, Olivia and Elliot took the opportunity to approach Calvin who was sitting quietly in a corner. He was still shy around many people, especially ones he didn't know.

"Hey Calvin." Olivia smiled at her foster son.

"Are you doing okay, buddy?" Elliot asked him.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just full from all the food."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I'm glad you and Elliot are finally together, Olivia." Calvin told her. "I knew from the very first time I saw you two together that you loved each other. It was so obvious."

Elliot and Olivia groaned almost at the same time. For a minute, Calvin looked worried. "What? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry…"

"No, no, Calvin!" Olivia interrupted his apology, laughing.

"You didn't say anything wrong." Elliot promised the teenage boy, looking at him straight in the eye.

"But you guys groaned. I really don't think that indicated that you were happy with my earlier statement."

Olivia chuckled. "It's not like that Calvin. It's just that, everyone has been telling us exactly the same thing. That they knew from the first moment that they saw us together."

"And that's why we groaned. We've been wondering if were really that blind? Or stubborn or both? How can we not have seen what everyone saw from the beginning?"

Understanding dawned in Calvin's face and he started chuckling as well. "Well, I've never been in love so I can't relate. However, I do know something about denial. And when you deny something, you think that it won't make it real. I don't know you very well Elliot, but I know Olivia. Olivia is a very good person and with very strong values and I know she probably denied her feelings for you because she didn't want to destroy your marriage. You were married, right?"

Elliot nodded.

"As for you Elliot, I can only guess that you didn't want to be statistic. You wanted to really try and work out your marriage so you denied your feelings too. You guys became so good at your denial that you actually believed it."

"Wow, for a 14 year old, you are a smart one, Calvin." Olivia exclaimed, smiling at him and ruffling his hair affectionately.

"Thanks." Calvin replied.

"So Calvin, since it's our wedding day and all, Olivia and I wanted to ask you something. And I hope you can consider it because we'd love it as a wedding gift."

"Sure, anything as long as it's within my power." Calvin told them.

Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances and then Olivia spoke up, taking Calvin's hand in hers. "Calvin, Elliot and I were wondering how you would feel about us adopting you? We already talked to your grandparents, well your grandma and she told us that as long as we didn't keep you from them and as long as you said okay, then they'll be okay with it too. So what do you think?"

Calvin became silent and his jaw dropped. There was a stunned look in his face. A few moments passed before he spoke again. His voice was almost a croak from the disbelief that he felt. "You want to adopt me? Both of you?"

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances once more and this time, it was Elliot who spoke up. "Yes, Calvin both of us. Since Olivia is now my wife, and she is now a Stabler, you will become a Stabler. That is if you're okay with that. And with the adoption, you not only gain a mom, a dad and a brother you also gain 5 other half-siblings."

"Are you okay with that, Calvin?" Olivia asked him in a soft voice.

"Am I okay with that?" Calvin echoed. Suddenly, tears filled his eyes and he threw his arms around Olivia. "Of course, I'm okay with that!"

Olivia hugged him back tightly, tears running down her face. "I'm so glad, Calvin. I love you."

"I love you too, Olivia."

Calvin then turned to Elliot. He seemed unsure of what to say or do. Seeing the boy's uncertainty, Elliot put an end to it and hugged him. "You're welcome Calvin. Welcome to the family."

Later, just as everyone was leaving, Maureen approached Elliot and Olivia. Sean was with Kathleen, Calvin and Dickie while Lizzie was watching Eli. The seven of them were all going back to the city. Maureen and Kathleen would be staying with Calvin and Sean for the next two days, while Olivia and Elliot took advantage of the holidays to get a mini-honeymoon. They planned to take a longer honeymoon in the future probably after Sean turned a year old.

"Congratulations, Dad." Maureen told him, giving him a hug.

"Thanks, Mo."

She turned to Liv and hugged her too. "You finally got your man, huh?"

Olivia laughed and replied, "I guess I did."

Maureen grinned. "Don't let him scare you off, you hear?"

"Maureen!" Elliot admonished, but he was grinning too.

"Okay, okay, I'll shut up. But you guys, take care of each other okay?"

"We will, Mo. I promise you." Elliot told her sincerely and feelingly.

Olivia nodded. "We will, we really will."

"Good."

"Well, okay you guys better start heading back to the city. It's getting pretty late and you have Sean with you. " Elliot said.

"Yeah, right. I know what you want to do…that's why you're trying to get rid of us." Maureen giggled.

Elliot turned bright red. He tried to answer, but no coherent comeback came to him.

Seeing Elliot's discomfort, Olivia giggled. "Anyway, you guys text us once you're in the apartment okay?"

"We will. And oh dad, I almost forgot. I have news for you. About mom."

"What is it?" For a moment, Elliot frowned. He really didn't want to hear anything about Kathy's dramatics right now.

"She met someone." Maureen told him.

"She did?"

"Yeah. About a week ago. She dropped by Kathleen's dorm and Kathleen wasn't there. Anyway, she met this guy who was also supposed to meet his daughter but she wasn't there either. So, they ended up having coffee together while waiting for Kathleen and his daughter to show up. And can you believe it? They've already gone out on two dates since then."

"That's so great! I'm happy for your mom." Elliot said sincerely.

"Yeah, she really seems happier. And he seems a good guy. He's a widower and he's Irish like you. His name's Stephen O'Connell and he lives in Connecticut but his work brings him into the city at least 2 to 3 times a week. "

"Well, that's good, Mo. Tell your mom I'm happy for her."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Well, like Olivia said you guys better be on your way. We'll see you in a couple of days okay? And thanks for doing this for us, Maureen."

"No problem. Consider it another wedding present. Okay, anyway, we're out. Why don't you guys give Sean a kiss adnd we'll be on our way."

They did as Maureen asked and a few minutes later, their goodbyes said, Elliot and Olivia found themselves alone for the first time as husband and wife.

They faced each other and smiled tenderly at each other. "Hello Mrs. Stabler." Elliot greeted Olivia softly moving forward towards her, closing the gap between them.

"Hello, Mr. Stabler." Olivia whispered back gazing into his eyes.

Elliot reached out and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I can't believe it! You're finally my wife. Oh my God,Liv, you're my wife."

Olivia put her arms around Elliot's neck and she smiled, her eyes wet with unshed tears of happiness. "I know and you're my husband. You're finally my husband, Elliot."

"I love you."

"I love you."

Elliot leaned in and started kissing Olivia. In that one kiss, Olivia felt all his love – she felt his soul. Reluctantly she pulled away. "Elliot, please take me upstairs and make love to your wife."

Her words made him smile and with one swift move he carried her in his arms all the way to the bedroom upstairs.

Elliot laid her on the bed then walked back to the door shutting it. He approached her and went to lie next to her. At first they only looked at each other, and they saw the same deep love in each other's eyes. Suddenly, tears began to spill from Olivia's eyes. Elliot knew that they were tears of happiness. He smiled and Olivia smiled back through her tears as Elliot wiped them away. "Liv," he told her softly and tenderly, "I love you. I am so happy."

Olivia nodded, blinking back her tears and she whispered almost achingly, "I love you too Elliot and I have never been this happy my whole life. I'm so happy."

Elliot groaned at the poignancy of the moment and then captured Olivia's mouth in his. He opened his mouth inviting her to do the same. Their tongues played with each other as they kissed gently, tenderly and lovingly.

Elliot then tore his mouth from Olivia's and he started kissing her neck, her ears, her chest. Olivia moaned softly from under him. He sat up then, straddled her and ran his hands along his arms, lifting them over her head. He stared into her chocolate eyes which were open, meeting his gaze and filled with love.

"Olivia Stabler, my wife." Elliot intoned softly as he caressed her arms up and down. "I love you."

Tears spilled from her eyes again. "I can't believe you're my husband now. We're married Elliot."

"Believe it baby. It's us from here on out."

"I know."

It was almost like they couldn't tear their eyes away from each other. Still with eyes locked, Elliot pulled Olivia up gently. Then slowly, his hands moved under her silk teddy and he pulled it up, exposing her full breasts.

"Lie down." He whispered.

Olivia obeyed and Elliot bent down, capturing her right nipple with his lips. Gently he licked it, his tongue swirling around it, making it even more taut. Olivia groaned and pleasure flooded her, making her wet to the core. "God you're so beautiful." Elliot breathed.

He sat back up and looked at his wife. She was flushed and breathing heavily. Elliot took off his shirt now and Olivia gasped when she saw his bare chest. He was flushed too. His breathing was heavy and his nipples were already hard from arousal. She could feel l his hardness as he straddled her and she pressed upwards straining to feel him against her aching pussy.

"Oh, God baby, I want you." Elliot told her, his voice almost harsh, almost a growl.

"Me too, oh El, please. Make love to me now." Olivia pleaded. She reached out and pulled down his sweat pants. She smiled naughtily when she saw that he wasn't wearing any underwear. She put her hand on his hardened length and started stroking it deliberately.

"I love your cock, Elliot. So big and hard and long. I love it inside me. Fuck, baby, I love you."

"I love you too, Liv. I love what you do to me." Slowly he put his hands on her hips and tugged on her panties, pulling them off and then discarding them.

He put his hand on her slit and finding it dripping, he suddenly shoved two fingers inside it. All the while he watched Olivia's face. She saw her face contort with surprise then with the pleasure it brought. "Do you like that?"

Olivia nodded almost feverishly and whimpered as he began to move his fingers in and out of her wet passageway. "Damn you're so wet, Liv."

"Only for you, El. Only for you." Olivia murmured in confession.

Her words served only to enflame him and Olivia could feel him harden even more against her thigh. All at once just fingering her wasn't enough. He moved a few inches down, still on his knees and then spread her legs. He could see her cleanly shaven pussy glistening with her juices as he pulled his fingers out of her. He took one of the two fingers he had put inside of her and put it inside his mouth. Deliberately looking into her eyes, he licked and sucked her juices clean on that finger. Once he finished, he then shoved the other one into her mouth making her taste herself. Olivia licked her own juices off of his finger almost eagerly.

Seeing her so lustful, it was all Elliot could do from busting out right then and there. But he reigned himself in and then he leaned down and licked her aching wet pussy from bottom to top. When he reached the top, his tongue went to her distended clit and ravaged it – flicking on it relentlessly, making Olivia restless with lust and desire. Noises that she couldn't even identify were coming out of her in her intense pleasure as Elliot refused to relent. He was all over her pussy. He would flick his tongue on her clit gently and then he would suck on it to the point of pain almost. Then before it got too much, he would just lick her slit, making it slicker. Then a minute later his tongue would be plunging inside her wet folds. He did this over and over again making Olivia fist the bed sheet under them.

All of a sudden, Elliot plunged a finger into her pussy again but this time he not only did that, he also plundered her with his tongue. Elliot - eating her out so thoroughly and him plunging and twisting his finger into her as deeply as he could, started to drive Olivia to her edge. "OH MY GOD! Elliot. Fuck baby, that feels so good. Oh my God. Don't stop. Just like that!" Her voice was getting louder and louder and she put her hand behind his head pushing it into her pussy while she raised her pelvis up grinding onto his face. She could feel herself so wet – so much so that she could hear Elliot lapping her up literally. "Shit! Elliot, baby, I'm so close, that feels so…mmmmm…."

Hearing her words and the noises she was making, Elliot quickened his pace. His tongue was going in out and out of her pussy as if he couldn't get enough, he was fucking her with his tongue over and over and his finger went in and out of her with the same rhythm, faster and faster until Olivia arched her back. She pushed her pelvis onto his face and then let out a scream of pleasure. "Elliot, fuck baby, that is fucking good. Oh, oh, yeah baby, just like that, oh my God, yeah that's it, oh Elliot baby, I'm coming. I'm coming! AH AH AH!" Olivia continued grinding her pussy onto his face, her hands holding his head pushing him into her. Her pussy flooded wetness into his mouth as her orgasm crescendoed and then finally waned. Elliot kept licking her and finger fucking her until she stopped pushing on to him and laid back on the bed, relaxed and out of breathe.

Elliot sat up and licked the juices that were still on his mouth and grinned. "Olivia, do you know how good you taste down there? I can never get enough of you, baby."

Olivia smiled. "Really?"

Elliot nodded eagerly. Olivia chuckled. But then her eyes strayed to his big and turgid cock and her laughter faded. Despite having had an orgasm only a few minutes ago, the sight of his beautiful cock, straining and hard for her, made her shudder with lust and she felt a pool of wetness in her pussy again.

"Oh God, Elliot baby, I want you inside me now. Please? I want my husband to make love to me."

No other words were needed and Elliot leaned forward and kissed her. Then gently, he eased his cock into her, all the while continuing to kiss her. Olivia kissed him back with all the love that she felt. She moaned as she felt his cock breaching her wet entrance. She tore her mouth away from his and touched her forehead to his, looking into his eyes. "Oh God, El, that feels so good. Shit baby, I'm so wet. You make me so wet."

Elliot lifted himself up, putting his hands on the bed and continued to push himself into Olivia. He could feel Olivia becoming restless under him and he all he wanted to do was ram himself into her. But he controlled himself. He wanted to do this slowly.

Finally, with a final push, he was all the way in. Elliot shuddered as he just stayed still for a moment, just savoring the warm wet pleasure that he felt being sheathed inside Olivia. "Oh God, Liv, it feels so good inside you."

"Elliot, baby, please move." It was a plea as the ache between her legs was so intense now.

Elliot obeyed. He pulled almost all the way out and then deliberately slammed hard against her. Then he pulled almost all the way out again and once more slammed hard against her. Olivia whimpered loudly and she raked her fingernails across his back, digging into them. The slight pain she caused, only made Elliot more aroused. He swore to the high heavens, uttering nonsensical words in pleasure as finally his control broke and he started thrusting faster. Olivia met his every thrust pushing her pelvis upwards.

Then all at once, without pulling out of her Elliot flipped them over and Olivia was on top. Olivia didn't miss a beat. She grabbed Elliot's hands and she put one on her breast and the other she grabbed two fingers and sucked on them. All the while she rode him wildly, making sucking noises and groaning.

"Shit, Liv. I'm close baby! You feel fucking good! You're so wet."

Olivia tore his fingers away from his mouth then told him in a voice ragged with desire, "I'm near too El, oh God, I love you."

She took that same hand that was just in her mouth and guided it to her pussy. Elliot knew what she wanted then. While he was still kneading one breast, he reached for he clit and began to rub on it furiously. When she felt his fingers on the sensitive nub, Olivia swore. "Fuck." And she began to ride him faster.

From his position, Elliot could see Olivia going up and down on his cock. The sight of his cock going in and out of her pussy was so erotic that it pushed him nearer his edge.

Still he wanted to prolong it and so he put his arms around her pulling her down and he flipped them again. When Olivia was below him once more, he grabbed her legs and he put them on his shoulder. The first stroke with the new position made Olivia scream. The position allowed Elliot to go deeper than ever inside her and hit a very sensitive spot. It also tightened her grip on his cock, a grip that was already tight to begin with and the friction that came with every stroke and every pump was all the more intense.

Olivia was making sounds that she'd never heard herself make. She grabbed his ass as he put his hand on her clit again and rubbed furiously. "OH GOD! Elliot that's it, faster, harder!"

Olivia's voice was ragged with want and at that moment, Elliot's control broke. He started to thrust faster and faster. He rubbed her clit with quick strokes and Olivia met his every thrust with an upward push of her own. All the while they never closed their eyes and they just looked at each other.

"LIv, baby, I'm gonna cum." Elliot told her, sweat lining his brow as he gazed at her.

"Me too, baby. Oh my God, baby, I'm coming!" As Elliot continued his frenzied thrusts, Olivia let out a scream. "SHIT! Baby! Your cock feels so good! Yeah!"

As Olivia's orgasm peaked she dug her fingers onto Elliot's ass. That action plus the feeling of her clamping around his cock and flooding him with her wetness was Elliot's undoing. He gave one hard thrust and let out a feral sound. "LIvia! I'm coming baby! Yeah, so good, so wet, so tight! FUCK! " He felt himself spurt over and over inside her. With each spurt he gave another thrust until finally his orgasm faded.

He then lifted Olivia's legs from his shoulder and let her relax them while he collapsed on top of her, both of them flushed and breathing hard.

A few moments later, when their breathing had steadied, Elliot lifted himself up and he looked straight at Olivia and said, "Wow!"

"Yeah." Olivia replied. "I don't think I can move, El."

Elliot laughed softly, rolling off her then settling beside her. Olivia snuggled against him and sighed with contentment.

"El?"

"Yes, baby?"

Olivia shifted and turned to face him. She looked at him with a smile and said, "I can't believe this is my life now. I can't believe I finally have you."

"I know. Sometimes I can't either. But it is."

She touched his face and then leaned forward to kiss him. It was a brief tender kiss that told Elliot how much he was loved. "I'm your wife."

"Yes you are." Elliot told her, reaching out and stroking her hair tenderly. "And I'm your husband. And you know what that means?"

"Yes, I do El. I'm yours forever."

"And I'm yours forever."

"I love you, Elliot Stabler."

"And I love you, Olivia Stabler."

They kissed again – this time it was all love and no lust. After they broke apart they stayed wrapped in each other's arms. Sated and at peace, they were both a few minutes later. They both had smiles on their faces as they slept. They were finally together. They had finally turned the final page on the events of the past year. It was time to begin a new chapter. It was time to move forward. And they were going to do it together because it was now their time.

END

_**I really didn't want to see this story end but it is the right end….I don't want it dragging like One Tree Hill. LOL. Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. Special thanks to Rhonda Roo, LivvieLovesEl and hopelesslydevotedtosvu. Thanks everyone for taking the time read. So one last time please do leave a review. It only takes a minute of your time. Here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista**_

_**I will be updating Crossroads (Yes LivvieLovesEl it will be SOON!) and Stuck next! **_


	27. Epilogue

Epilogue

Author's note: Law & Order SVU and its characters are still not mine.

Couldn't resist a fluffy epilogue. Lol. Just a little E/O fluff for my readers especially those who are really missing this on my latest efforts, Heart Chant.

Thank you again for being such good readers!

A year later…

"Yo Stabler!" Fin greeted him jovially.

"Hey Fin, thanks for coming man." Elliot told him, grinning.

"Hi Fin." Olivia greeted him from her hospital bed.

"Jesus, Elliot, when are you gonna stop with the babies?" Munch spoke up, suddenly materializing in Olivia's hospital room as well.

Elliot laughed and he and Liv looked at each other lovingly. "Never!" He declared. "As long as I'm with Liv, never."

"Uh El, if you haven't noticed, I'm getting old. This is it, honey. But if she's going to be the last Stabler for now, well, I'll take it. She's so beautiful." Olivia softly caressed the head of their latest addition.

"Yeah she is." Fin agreed, a tender look coming over his face as he looked at the baby girl in Olivia's arms.

"Just like her mother." Elliot added, leaning forward giving Olivia a kiss.

"You guys are worse than a Nicholas Sparks novel!" Munch told them, only half joking.

"How do you even know Nicholas Sparks? " Olivia asked. She looked at him a moment and then declared, "I bet you watched the Notebook right? Either that or a Walk to Remember? Which one was it Munch?"

Munch suddenly blushed and replied, "Uh…actually it was both…" His voice trailed off in embarrassment.

"Both?" Elliot choked and suddenly, everyone including Munch began laughing.

"Alright I admit it. I can be a soft touch."

"Well that's a bit more than a soft touch! The Notebook!" Elliot guffawed.

"ANYWAY – " Munch said loudly, hoping to turn the conversation away from him, "What did you name her?"

"We stuck with our theme with Sean – it's Shannon Brianna." Olivia told him.

"An Irish name for an Irish lass." Munch remarked, smiling.

"You got it." Olivia told him.

Just then the 7 other Stabler kids – Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, Dickie, Eli, Calvin and Sean entered the room. Lizzie was holding Sean who was now more than a year old.

"How's our baby sister?" Eli asked. At now almost 5, he was quite the talker and when he first saw his sister for the first time a couple of hours earlier.

"She's great." Olivia told Eli. "How's your mom you guys?"

"She's doing good too. I can't believe she popped out another one though." Kathleen stated.

"Kathleen!" That was Elliot.

Kathleen shrugged. "Seriously dad, after Eli, I thought she'd be done."

"Wait, wait. I'm confused." Fin interrupted the exchange.

"Me, too." Munch said.

"Uncle John, it's my mom – she also just gave birth about three days ago." Lizzie told them the two me there.

"Wow, that's great. " Fin exclaimed.

"Yeah, it is." Lizzie agreed.

"But I seriously can't believe there are 9 of us now. " Kathleen admitted, grinning.

"Kathleen!" Elliot said again, looking exasperated at his daughter. She was never good at just thinking things instead of saying things.

"Well the more the merrier, right?" Maureen said, laughing.

"Yeah, the more the merrier." Olivia said, joining in the laughter.

She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that she was that happy and part of this huge family. All her life she had been alone, fending for herself and now she was surrounded by people who love her – her husband, their children and their precious friends.

"Hey guys, Cap says sorry he couldn't make it today but that he'll visit you guys soon." Fin advised them.

"Thanks, Fin."

In the midst of all the chaos then, Elliot and Olivia looked around them, at each other and finally at the newest addition to their family. At that moment they knew they were blessed and finally truly happy.

end

Really, that's all folks!

It only takes a moment or two guys! Please review! Here or on Twitter: Jo_Bautista


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